Tuesday, November 08, 2005

TAN On CraigsList

I was over on This Is What We Do Now and stumbled on this post about a fake craigslist ad he posted, and the subsequent field research on male responders.

I too wonder about the CraigsList love connections (an "LA friend" and I tried to pitch the Craigslist reality show. They weren't interested, but we did win a stuffed teddy bear for being the one millionth person with that "brilliant" idea).

But what struck me about Larry's experiment was he used a somewhat ideal girl for his post, and was presumably flooded.

I wanted to go the opposite route, someone ostensibly less desirable, and see if you still get a flood of responses.

So I started with my woman being overweight, dead-end job, low self-esteem, and not a good giver of oral pleasure.

Unfortunately, I must admit that once I got into writing the ad I felt a little too much like a misogynist pig to really follow-through and deliver on the most "undesirable" ad. What's a little negro like me have to say about which characteristics are "undesirable", you know?

Nevertheless, with the ghost of journalistic integrity as my only guide, I soldiered forward as best I could. While my eyes streamed tears of feminist pride, I posted the ad and conducted the subsequent field research on the deluge of responses.

Here’s the ad. Response snippets and field research to follow:
Please Bring Your Own Paper Bag (25) Manhattan

Look I’m going to be honest here. I’m not an awesome catch physically. As you will no doubt tell by this post, I do have a head on my shoulders, and some personality. But physically? Well I don’t know. You’ll have to decide for yourself I guess. But here are some of the gory details:

I am overweight. I’m not a shut-in who can’t get out of the bed. But I’ve heard “fatty” whispered under people’s breath around me enough times to know the mirror isn’t lying. However I am comfortable with it. I like to eat. I like to cook. I like ice cream. On the plus side for you I like ice cream all over my body. But if we want good coverage we might need two containers. And you'll need a strong tongue.

I’m in a dead-end job. Of course this is very apropos for an overweight lady looking for love on craigslist. I guess that makes me a bit cliché. Oh well.

All this extra baggage and low self-esteem does makes me very horny for some reason. So I’m always rarin’ to go. And I’m STD free. And I’m told I give a mean blowjob.

Unfortunately it’s not mean as in good, it’s mean as in guy-hating angry teeth-scraping mean. Tee-hee, just kidding … maybe.

I don’t know, I could go on. But I’m not sure how interested people are going to be. So if you want more details, let me know. Overall I’m big, not that attractive, just getting by financially, but I have personality (maybe) and I’m horny (definitely), and just in case I'm picking up two containers of Breyers. I'm sure I'll manage to use it one way or another.

So ball is in your court.

Maybe this is good enough. Maybe it’s not.

you let me know.

To Be Continued...

TAN on CL Followup:

TAN on CL (d'oh!)
TAN on CL (Zulkey)


  1. "Unfortunately it’s not mean as in good, it’s mean as in guy-hating angry teeth-scraping mean. Tee-hee, just kidding … maybe."

    That's EXACTLY like something they write on those things. (Not that I read them...)

  2. these are fun. I got over 500 responses from the "commitment phobic?!?" ad. Apparently, New York men didn't get (or didn't want to get) the joke.

  3. Looking forward to hearing about the responses you got.

    Sorry I haven't devised any sort of a boob-posting schedule over at my site, Mr. TAN. I do keep getting distracted today because the sweater I'm wearing has a deep V-neck, so why don't you pretend I'm leaning over to give you a dish of Breyer's? Extra Creamy Chocolate is my favorite flavor. (That's not innuendo, it's just what's in my freezer. Really.)

  4. You are going to get a ton of responses! I can't wait to read all about them!

  5. i can only imagine what kinds of responses you are goign to get because i know that you are going to get plenty of them!

  6. someone who's self-deprecating, but can still pull off clever?

    it's like the hobo with the sense of humor. all this was missing is the corny "my body is a wonderland" reference.

    way to keep hope alive!

  7. I found your blog randomly but this post drew me in. Now I've got to check back to see what kinds of responses you get to that one....

  8. First time here,
    This was funny... Can't wait to see the rest

  9. I needed a good laugh, I love it! I just wrote today that people should be more honest in their profiles and put less generic crap.

  10. Anonymous11/09/2005

    Can't wait to see the responses

  11. I can't believe your mythical woman is single.

  12. well, you gave her a sense of humor, which has some appeal by itself. and i suppose some guys go for that self-deprecating, "refreshingly honest" approach (though maybe they're mostly fat and not particularly appealing themselves).

    it'd be interesting to compare responses to this ad with one that's more romantic and upbeat and less humorous and frank (the kind posted by an optimistic gal who hasn't given up trying to please yet--who uses words like "voluptuous" or "rubenesque" or "full-figured" and mentions things she enjoys doing, like long walks 'n' talks).

  13. Trust me, (although I never actually trust someone who says that,) when I say I NEVER see an ad like yours on Craig's list or on any dating site. It would be refreshing actually. I can't guarantee I would write you, but it would be refreshing nevertheless ;-)

  14. This chick is going to get so much ass!

    But seriously...an insecure woman who thinks she's ugly and fat. Dudes know that's what they're getting even if it's not explicitly said in the ad.

    The real question is: Is this a black woman we're talking about? Cuz that changes everything.

  15. that's an interesting question, fuss. it never occurred to me that this hypothetical woman might be black. I guess (from looking back over the ad) that's because there are so many words and expressions that sound white to me (like "rarin' to go" and "awesome"). and at the same time, the phrasing doesn't have anything about it that sounds particularly like a black woman.

  16. yeah. we do need to know if this is a black woman or not. but what does it change?

    also. i think you might get a lot of self righteous women responding and telling "you" to wise up, get some self esteem or something or the sort. wouldn't surprise me.

    i am super duper excited to see what these fools have to say about this ad.


Related Posts with Thumbnails