Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Blog On Blog Crime Dating

Since I have some blog friends, and the timing for this subject is precarious at best, I must preface this by saying, "Nothing That Follows Refers To Any Specific Individual!!!"

The real impetus is FeistyRed e-mailed me asking to help her flesh out a bit on "Bloggers Dating Bloggers." And its hard to resist a cute profile picture pitching an amusing premise.

So I wrote down a couple thoughts, and since I'm still sort of groggily getting out of my blog-bed, I'll leave it at that. I think Feisty will eventually take over and do it up proper.

so here were a couple thoughts that came to mind in terms of pitfalls when bloggers date bloggers...

Hidden Meaning Is Everywhere:
Possibly the worst problem with two bloggers dating is that both people are writing every day, or often. And you lose sense of perspective. So when the person writes, "So today I had cheese on bread for breakfast." You’re like, “that motherfucker’s calling me bread!!! And cheesy??!!? And I'll be damned if anyone has me for breakfast!! Nah son (even girls break out the 'son' when they're pissed), fuck that shit. I'm going to bash this motherfucker's head in with his own laptop. Send subliminal hints now bitch!!”

Then you go and write a post about, "why home fried potatoes are better than pelicans in the summer." And the comments are like, “oh shit dude, that’s awesome, friggin’ pelicans and home fries, its sooo funny because its soooo true.” Meanwhile you’re really referencing the home fried potatoes he made for you after sleeping over, and the fact that he calls his thingy Mr. Pelican.

You will curse the day you ever went to english class.

Traffic Wars:
Every relationship has an inherent power struggle that operates beneath the surface, in the subtext. But bloggers have a tracking device that put the state of the power struggle right on Front Street. Its called Sitemeter. If one person has all the traffic, comments, and "critical acclaim." While you just kind of post diarrhea pudding day-after-day …well guess who has the power? Yeah, it's not you with the milky-brown residue around your lips, that's for sure. Get involved with someone with major traffic and he/she can give you an inferiority complex without even saying anything. Kind of like a gift-subscription to Cosmo.


and that's all I got for now. Any other thoughts will be channeled through my new psycho-stalker Feisty.

14 comments:

  1. subliminal1/03/2006

    hidden meaning is everywhere. that part is so funny. I think it goes on whether you are blogger or not. you can extract meaning out of anything.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous1/03/2006

    oh shit dude, that’s awesome, friggin’ pelicans and home fries, its sooo funny because its soooo true.


    sorry had to do it

    -S

    ReplyDelete
  3. I like the cheese bread reference personally, I always use food to describe my men.

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  4. whatever1/03/2006

    I wasn't goig to comment here TAN. but whatevs.

    this post is hilarious. NOT!!!

    as you like to say:

    toodles,

    A Bitch

    ReplyDelete
  5. Damn, fools are inferring more than that stalker who thought Letterman was talking about her when he mentioned Oprah!

    I am amused, frightened and (unfortunately) none too surprised by these revelations!

    I hope that in the next installment, you'll mention fools who get pissed when you fail to link their asses just because they're in the mix!

    Happy New Year!

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  6. Actually he needs to add the blogroll item, that one was funny. Taking someone off your blogroll after you date them shows that you care, he suggests moving them to the bottom of the list. Classic.

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  7. TAN, I gotta give you credit for having the foresight to never have a blogroll in the first place, so as to avoid offending any lovely ladies by removal or addition... That's some diplomatic strategizing, yo.

    ReplyDelete
  8. TAN....you make me hurt my ulcer when I laugh at your uncanny sentences...

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  9. Mily brown residue. Mmmm. Delicious!

    ReplyDelete
  10. AHHH you are writing my fears. I just started dating a fellow blogger, where at least he gets it and I don't feel shameful for being a nerd, but he found my site and it makes me nervous so I can't talk about it. Ahhhh

    and HALOSCAN PLEASE

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  11. If only you knew how my day was going. I was searching for one thing and I ended up here. Now you see how that might affect me!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous1/22/2010

    Rather nice blog you've got here. Thanx for it. I like such topics and anything connected to this matter. BTW, try to add some images :).

    ReplyDelete
  13. I like the cheese bread reference personally, I always use food to describe my men.

    ReplyDelete

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