Friday, February 17, 2006

Drink Up Mama, It's Good For You

So checking out some TAN visitors today, I stumbled on this gem of overlooked and perhaps forgotten information (via DJSpeak).

Do other people remember this 2002 story about semen as an anti-depressant?

Some choice quotes:
Wifey, the star of WifeysWorld.com, says, "I have probably consumed quarts of semen in my life and I can certainly attest to a heightened feeling afterwards. I suppose it makes sense. Put me on the 'I think it's true' side of the ledger,"

The women who rejected rubbers were significantly happier than those using them and those having no sex at all. What's more, those who had been getting regular injections of semen from their boyfriends felt worse the longer it had been since they stopped having sex.

Gallup says this suggests, in the simplest terms, that semen is a drug, and that it's addictive: Women go through a kind of withdrawal when they stop getting it.

His follow-up research has also hinted that women who don't use condoms get into rebound relationships quicker than condom users do.

Women in this study basted their clitoris, labia, and vaginal opening with a prostaglandin liquid, then watched erotic videos for 30 minutes while taking notes ...

One young single woman in New York, ... is in therapy for depression and has been on a litany of antidepressants says, "When I was in a steady relationship, I was pretty damn happy all the time, but I don't know if that had anything to do with having semen in me."
I particularly enjoy the image of women basting their bits with that hilariously named liquid and jotting down their thoughts. That should be made into a monthly show in the East Village.

I looked for follow-up reports, but got nothing. Nevertheless, this article should be made into a pamphlet and given to every guy when he turns 21, 18, 14?

Can Semen Cure The Blues
[Salon]

41 comments:

  1. riiiiiight, check out my last post and see if i feel the same way.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Uh... women having sex are happier than women not having sex -- isn't that the study, really? I can vouch for that.

    Did you know that people are addicted to food? Yes, I've done a case study. When they stop eating, they get hungry for food. People who eat tend to eat again. People who don't eat, tend to...uh...die. They are happier when they are eating then when they are starving. It's a fact.

    ReplyDelete
  3. bb - can't believe you exposed him ...

    monkey - the study seems to actually focus on using a condom or not. the semen actually coming in contact with the woman's body... but yeah I think most have concluded that Sex = Good.

    Re. food, the good thing is, perhaps, semen can serve as a food substitute, so you can take care of everything with one gulp.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous2/17/2006

    Are facials, then, beneficial?
    Skeet-skeet-skeet!

    ReplyDelete
  5. What if this is another male attempt to go "bareback"?

    ReplyDelete
  6. The subjects of the study "basting" their naughty bits is indeed a hilarious image, and yet a mildly disturbing one given that basting usually accompanies roasting. I like to keep my clitoris and nearby parts at or near body temperature.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous2/17/2006

    It's hardwired into us, Betty. We'll even conduct scientific experiments to push our agenda to raw-dog it whenever possible.
    I wonder if it also has benefits on the producer and/or other men, or if it is only women who get the boost.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Reality health check2/17/2006

    And with your nutritious jolt of semen you can also obliterate your immune system. SWEET. See why JAMBA Juice hasn't jumped on the bandwagon. i think we need to gain perspective folks-- we live in a dangerous city. And if your gonna play roulette you should be informed...

    http://www.nytimes.com/2006/02/04/nyregion/04aids.html?ex=1140325200&en=35aa988a5c5edcaf&ei=5070

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous2/17/2006

    Reality Health Check with a soul-deep cockpunch.
    Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I don't think that man-juice makes me giddy or anything, but I can always tell by the taste what he ate for lunch....

    ReplyDelete
  11. reality health check2/17/2006

    what are you people in third grade? I am stripping you of calling yourself lucifer. The real lucfer is mature and should have some mature comments- jesus h christ...

    ReplyDelete
  12. Reality Health Check2/17/2006

    oh yeah. And duh Betty-- get a clue.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Lucifer2/17/2006

    >>so you can take care of everything with one gulp

    C'mon dude, that could at least have used a nhjic (no homo just in case).

    A "no homo" every so often can add such character and humour to an article, especially when it makes the reader think "why the hell did he say no homo there...oh...i get it...hahaha".

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous2/17/2006

    Reality Health Check needs to decompress a little. Jesus H Christ on a Raleigh bike.
    Try 5th grade.

    ReplyDelete
  15. reality health check2/17/2006

    I don't know what your talking about anonymous, but shut up.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anonymous2/17/2006

    You bet.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hm, semen as a picker-uper? I'm getting some amusing images of a new "boost" flavor at Jamba Juice.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I think we need to solve this once and for all, get some funding, and do a survey. With a very large sample size. I am willing to sacrifice my body for science. And free beer.

    ReplyDelete
  19. This reminds me of the line from arrested development, "you have to drink vodka right away or it goes bad".

    I thought you could only get an STD if you knew how to spell it first.

    ReplyDelete
  20. reality health check2/17/2006

    betty,
    is this directed at me? You don't want to start something with me...

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous2/17/2006

    Reality Health Check, maybe you should be first in line to check this theory out, because you seem to be wound up pretty tight.

    ReplyDelete
  22. reality health check2/17/2006

    no, but I am wound up tight and I am about to take Betty out...
    you want some too anonymous?

    ReplyDelete
  23. 3:45 Anon2/17/2006

    Thank you for your noble public service anouncement, RHC, but I think we can do without the attitude. Can we lighten up the mood just a little??

    ReplyDelete
  24. I was fucking kidding, and I wasn't referring to RHC.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Anonymous2/17/2006

    Wait, Betty. Can you provoke him (gotta be a him) further? I want to see how one "takes out" another on a comment board.
    HAXORD?
    Mind bullets?
    Hotlinks?
    Break-dance battle?
    MC Freestyle?
    Flatland competition with some ramp work thrown in for good measure?

    ReplyDelete
  26. Well done, anonymous. Let's hope RHC gets laid this weekend, instead of masturbating to internet porn while his cat watches, assuming its a he.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Reality Health Check2/17/2006

    Actually its Ms. RHC. Forget it though-- Ive lost the anger. But remember about health risks Betty and Anon! Have a good wknd.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Anonymous2/17/2006

    Betty, it's like you looked at my weekend planner.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Ha ha, Betty. RHC -- you got served!! (can I say that or is that too 2004?)

    I have a sneaking suspicion that RHC is 12 years old. At least that's the level of his/her "shut up", "you don't want to start something with me", & "you want some of this" come-backs. Maybe s/he wants to take it out on the playground.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Lucifer2/17/2006

    No homo to the prodominatly teh ghey argument between Anon and RHC.

    ReplyDelete
  31. good comment drama-tainment for a Friday afternoon. Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Reality Health Check2/17/2006

    I am 29. But I can act 12 if I want too-- you all don't know who I am. But anonymous, monkey panties, and Butty, are annoying me. They need to stop commenting... THIS IS MY DOMAIN.

    ReplyDelete
  33. reality health check2/17/2006

    Looks like my annexation was successful now you see what I meant by taking out, jackasses. I declare myself King (I am female) but KING OF THE COMMENTS ON THE ASSIMILATED NEGRO SITE. From now on send your comments to me for approval and I will let you know if you can post. No sense in sending any submissions Betty & Monkeypants becasue your not getting approval.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Reality Health Check2/17/2006

    I did get served. Served the other night by Betty and Monkeypants's momma at the local JFK Fried Chicken.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Anonymous2/17/2006

    What is the sound of one person commenting?

    ReplyDelete
  36. YO tan, I straight up quoted you, but by now you already know this. anyways, there's some funny ass drama on this comment section, you need to regulate. holla. Time to go out.

    Go Duke.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Lucifer2/18/2006

    This comment section is starting to look like B C dot C.

    ReplyDelete
  38. For some reason, whilst reading this article, the term "less filling, tastes great!" pops into my head.

    For many years people have ignored the numerous test results that semen has very benificial properties, ie it's great for the skin, good for the digestive tract, and even better for your hair.

    Thanks Tan for trying to get the "pro-semen" activation started :)

    ReplyDelete
  39. I can't speak about semen, but lady juice has done wonders for my ulcer.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Anonymous2/18/2006

    Man, this post makes me want to suck some cock. No Homo. Any takers?

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts with Thumbnails