Friday, June 20, 2008

Grandpa TAN: The Headache

we now present Grandpa TAN starring in a dramatic rendition of "I Have A Headache."

[action]

TAN: my head hurts. i don't know if i can play cards with you. you have any aspirin?

Grandpa TAN (GPT): huh?

TAN: my head hurts, do you have any aspirin? tylenol?

GPT: your head hurts?

TAN: yes, you have any aspirin??

GPT: you want aspirin?

TAN: yeah, do you have some?

GPT: no .... but go get that bottle over there.

TAN: what bottle?

GPT: that one over there, with the dropper

TAN: what??? oh, i don't need anything grandpa

GPT: go get that thing boy, you said your head hurt, right?

TAN: yeah ?

GPT: go get the dropper ?

TAN: this?

GPT: no.... on the thing there

TAN: here?

GPT: yeah...

TAN opens bottle and smells it, crinkles nose and feels resolute that he won't be taking anything with a dropper on the top of it

GPT: come here

TAN: what is that?

GPT: boy, do your head hurt or what?

TAN: i don't think i want any liquid ... anything.. out of a dropper, i don't think that's going to help. i just wanted an apsirin or tylenol or something

GPT: look [smells bottle], you just have to put a drop on your tongue like this? [does it]

TAN: [cringes, but ... ] a drop?

GPT: yeah, look ....

TAN: and that's gonna fix my headache??

GPT grabs TAN's hands pours a generous amount of the clear liquid over his hands. TAN screams, startled by the aggressive gfather attack.

GPT: [tone: pensive from the realization of how ungrandfatherly it is to sneak-medicate your grand-son]: you should rub it in there

TAN: i thought it was a drop on my tongue, what is this? my hands burn...

GPT: its alcohol. jsut spiced rum .... you breathe it in

TAN: huh?

GPT: like this...

TAN: ok ...

...

TAN: Hmmm, I guess my head does feel a little bit better.

[I'm sorry i made you have to sneak-medicate me? ...]

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