grades up on Grantland.
One of the things I liked about the film is that it encourages you to dream big. Even if you're a dork stuck in rural small town Minnesota, or "mini-apple" (as Minneapolis is referred to in the movie) it reminds you that even if you’re a dork, any given day might be the day you get off the computer, walk into a bar and bump into a psychotic but-also-awesomely-non-discerning Charlize Theron swilling whiskey by the liter, and you know, maybe have a chance.
So with that dream in mind here are a handful of wonderful, and by wonderful I mean terrible, pickup lines to use on Charlize Theron should you run into her sometime, in character as Mavis Geary. These lines are guaranteed** to charm:
The cutesy pun move:
“Hey girl, is your name Charlize? Cause I just saw an angel.”
The cutesy pun move 2:
“Hey girl, is your name Charlize? Because you're sweeter than his chocolate factory.”
The sports fan move:
“Hey girl, I think the owners have stepped in and demanded I keep you on my team… for basketball reasons.”
The Drake move:
“Heeeeyyyyyy girl. Unh. In this bitch all the drinks are on the house like Snoopy.”
The neg move:
"Hey, were you in "Monster"? Huh. I never saw that one."
The cutesy pun move 3:
*taps mic motion* "Hey girl, is this thing Theron?"
Congratulations, Charlize Theron loves you!
(**Void where prohibited. Please do not use these lines on Charlize Theron or any Young Adult near you.)
Young Adults Report Card [Grantland]