tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16210951.post112979745034108044..comments2023-11-05T07:37:47.920-05:00Comments on The Assimilated Negro: If It Ain't Broke, How Do You Fix It? On Passion, Purpose, and Pursuing PerfectionT.A.N.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03386902584581113328noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16210951.post-1129904524117550222005-10-21T10:22:00.000-04:002005-10-21T10:22:00.000-04:00yeah, if you got no passion, just get LAID. skip ...yeah, if you got no passion, just get LAID. skip the baby crap! LOLOLAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16210951.post-1129870635377733482005-10-21T00:57:00.000-04:002005-10-21T00:57:00.000-04:00pebon, anon, pekah - thanksorange - maybe you shou...pebon, anon, pekah - thanks<BR/><BR/>orange - maybe you should tell yor parents to smack you around a ittle bit. that'll get the fire burning again I'm sure. <BR/><BR/>laura - well I wrote a long post, so presumably long comments are allowed. but you do make an interesting point. <BR/><BR/>maybe the passionless due to a perfect family would only know how to direct passion on to their children and/or family. The middle-of-the-road non-descript typecast says you work, get married, and raise a family. That is your purpose. So it would figure you might feel a little lost if you haven't gotten to that family stage yet. That would also go in line with people feelign a complete and total realignment of priorities once they do have children. It is the birth of their purpose ... and passion.<BR/><BR/>so I guess the moral is if you gots no passion, make a baby, and see if that helps.T.A.N.https://www.blogger.com/profile/03386902584581113328noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16210951.post-1129856094145176152005-10-20T20:54:00.000-04:002005-10-20T20:54:00.000-04:00whoa, sorry that was so long!whoa, sorry that was so long!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16210951.post-1129856005851366712005-10-20T20:53:00.000-04:002005-10-20T20:53:00.000-04:00hmmmmm. You make some very good points here, espec...hmmmmm. You make some very good points here, especially: "But those from perfect homes have nothing to fix."<BR/><BR/>and then earlier in the post you state that: "...what a perfect family would be, but the basics as I see it would be a mother and father that love each other and their child unconditionally, an extended family that fit their roles to a tee with no drunk uncles/rotten apples, money, and have it all."<BR/><BR/>I grew up in a neighborhood with a lot of "perfect families". To this day, both my hub and I are almost considered unusual because we both come from families where there is no divorce (his parents and mine are still married) and because we've been married for 23 years. And yes, we both love our girls unconditionally. <BR/><BR/> I wouldnt say it was a perfect marriage for either his parents, my parents or for us a hundred percent of the time either. Marriage is a hell of an evolving process. Anyone who gets married in their 20's and thinks things will always be the same at 30, 40, 50 needs to get a clue soon. People change and so do the dynamics of the marriage.<BR/>And that affects the "perfect" family syndrome.<BR/><BR/>When I was a kid I envied some of my friends whom I thought had perfect lives because their parents were so involved in their day to day activities and because they did things together as a family; i.e. vacations, parties, tennis and swimming lessons, etc.<BR/>My family hardly ever did anything together and I had very little contact with aunts/uncles etc when I was growing up, so I thought my friend's families were perfect. <BR/><BR/>I've noticed a common trend among those friends that grew up in those types of families: while they're not perfect in any way, they've raised their kids very similar to their own upbringing. They went on to teach them values and work ethics and so on. Almost all of them waited to have kids well into their 20's and the divorce rate is pretty low. It's just the way it worked out.<BR/><BR/>So where do they get their passion? <BR/>From love. Before you roll your eyes, love is what makes you get out of bed at 2 am because you know your kid kicks the blanket off and wakes up cold at night. Love is what makes you drive across town at 11:41 p.m. because you heard about a party going on, and you have the nerve to be the uncool parent and get your kid out of there before the 21 drinks game starts.<BR/>Love is looking down the road to what the future might be for your family instead of worrying about the way they are in the "here and now". <BR/>It's about taking the time to try to find a way to guide your kids in the right direction, while at the same time knowing when to stand back and let them go their own way. <BR/> <BR/>It's the hardest thing you'll ever do because your kids will have their own ideas how things should be done.<BR/><BR/>It's not always about passion that arrives from having been in a dysfunctional family and wanting better. Despite my hub's parents long marriage and (weird) love for their kids, they had a largely dysfunctional settings: his mom was abusive.<BR/><BR/>The love you get when you put that child in your arms for the first time ever, when you realize the enormous scope of responsibility you have on your hands is huge. If it's right, you'll know in your gut that you're the only one who should make that happen. You'll want to make that life for your kid be the right one, no matter what. and you'll kick anyone's ass who interferes.<BR/><BR/>that's where the passion will come from.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16210951.post-1129850040915813292005-10-20T19:14:00.000-04:002005-10-20T19:14:00.000-04:00He who never made a mistake, never made a discover...He who never made a mistake, never made a discovery. --Samuel Smiles.<BR/><BR/>Great post.Peakahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08328805212399976786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16210951.post-1129827489621023112005-10-20T12:58:00.000-04:002005-10-20T12:58:00.000-04:00goddam Tan Man !! (that rhymed)that was awesomeI'm...goddam Tan Man !! (that rhymed)<BR/><BR/>that was awesome<BR/><BR/>I'm going to pass this along to all my friends from "perfect" families.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16210951.post-1129823025367895422005-10-20T11:43:00.000-04:002005-10-20T11:43:00.000-04:00I've got some cousins whose upbringing probably fi...I've got some cousins whose upbringing probably fits the perfect-family mold. They're Republicans who like to make money. One of them has taught his kids to call a penis a "doodle." No art, no charm.<BR/><BR/>You're making me feel so fortunate to have grown up with parents whose dysfunctionality increased every year. But now I'm underperforming. I should be pursuing purpose with passion instead of perpetrating persiflage.Orangehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12433254398377357737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16210951.post-1129821105818786412005-10-20T11:11:00.000-04:002005-10-20T11:11:00.000-04:00Wow.Wow.Pebonstorieshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01770989485421748568noreply@blogger.com