tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16210951.post113690746985749990..comments2023-11-05T07:37:47.920-05:00Comments on The Assimilated Negro: An Open Letter From A Black Guy To His Average-Sized PenisT.A.N.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03386902584581113328noreply@blogger.comBlogger73125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16210951.post-87353457564110575512011-01-31T23:21:10.629-05:002011-01-31T23:21:10.629-05:00I too believe that when Gozer the Gozarian asked D...I too believe that when Gozer the Gozarian asked Dr. Ray Venkman, “Are you a God?” He should have responded “YES” as Winston Zeddemore later suggested. (Yes, I’m speaking in gibberish references to a early-80s-comedy about Ghost Busting) The fact of the matter is, all of us (even hell-spawned-mega-demon-kings) respond to the preconceived schemas we have built in our minds/beliefs… I.E., in my experience as a black male, if you portray yourself as believing yourself as large (when only mildly above average), others do as well. Hence, you come to have the demeanor and confidence that belies your and other’s perceptions, rather than actual size.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16210951.post-92171353725741108082010-05-04T02:30:23.223-04:002010-05-04T02:30:23.223-04:00hiLARious!!! Great post, and a worthwhile issue f...hiLARious!!! Great post, and a worthwhile issue for discussion, too. I love all the comments.<br /><br />Here is my two cents: I call average penises "pleasers" and that's for a reason! Big ones are overrated (for me anyway). I've experienced a few and they hurt.<br /><br />So here's a new name to add to the list. What you have is a PLEASER :))g-girlnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16210951.post-27823108289170223972009-01-16T12:00:00.000-05:002009-01-16T12:00:00.000-05:00haha well thanks for the credit although i think i...haha well thanks for the credit although i think i stole it from someone else as well :) nice list!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16210951.post-12413722221099676252008-10-09T15:52:00.001-04:002008-10-09T15:52:00.001-04:00GREAT writer by the way ;)GREAT writer by the way ;)Gracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09196629715633115596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16210951.post-83807010971780439782008-10-09T15:52:00.000-04:002008-10-09T15:52:00.000-04:00I will take “okey-dokey pokey” if you make me laug...I will take “okey-dokey pokey” if you make me laugh like you just did while I was reading your post. I love itGracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09196629715633115596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16210951.post-41774440274542036872008-09-17T12:39:00.000-04:002008-09-17T12:39:00.000-04:00LMAO... thank you kindly, TAN. In my eyes, you'll ...LMAO... thank you kindly, TAN. In my eyes, you'll always have a 10-incher when it comes to your funny bone.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16210951.post-32127260003336038062008-07-13T04:20:00.000-04:002008-07-13T04:20:00.000-04:00Guess it's time to pay a visit to Dr. Frankenpeen'...Guess it's time to pay a visit to Dr. Frankenpeen's blog...http://Frankenpeen.blogspot.comDallas Goodbarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06500508425187859314noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16210951.post-30767686425126207562008-04-20T20:08:00.000-04:002008-04-20T20:08:00.000-04:00Dude, You're awesome. If you're worried, marry a s...Dude, You're awesome. If you're worried, marry a small girl with low experience and she'll never know the difference. And if she's happy, she won't care anyway.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16210951.post-27361093857412605142008-04-06T06:16:00.000-04:002008-04-06T06:16:00.000-04:00OMG why would any woman want to have sex with some...OMG why would any woman want to have sex with something called "The Pulverizer"!! Average is OK, but you gotta make up for your shortcoming...so to speak. Work the fingers and the tongue.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16210951.post-859853615929583092008-03-22T17:25:00.000-04:002008-03-22T17:25:00.000-04:00And I thought I was the only guy who wrote letters...And I thought I was the only guy who wrote letters to his penis.Ben Therehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09552547709669462400noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16210951.post-36973853866101547412008-01-20T21:18:00.000-05:002008-01-20T21:18:00.000-05:00its reported that the only group of men besides po...its reported that the only group of men besides porn actors to have significantly larger penises on average are....you ready for this? Gay Men!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16210951.post-83105668936555161942008-01-20T21:12:00.000-05:002008-01-20T21:12:00.000-05:00the whole "alabama black snake" idea is an inaccur...the whole "alabama black snake" idea is an inaccurate urban myth. on average all men regardless of race run between 5.5-6 inches. however of the .01% of men that have "very large" units, SLIGHTY more black men are reported. its my belief that the myth derives from the flaccid state, whereas black men average .5 in more length but no difference in girth.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16210951.post-49271186781648589852007-09-28T12:16:00.000-04:002007-09-28T12:16:00.000-04:00As a half-black guy, I feel compelled to share thi...As a half-black guy, I feel compelled to share this anecdote:<BR/><BR/>Generally, if I tell a smartass that I'm half-black, he/she looks at my midsection, raises an eyebrow, and says, "Which half?" Of course, the translation is, "Are you black in the penis?"<BR/><BR/>And the answer is no. I too have an average-sized dong, but why is that something to be ashamed of. Average is exactly that. But the black penis has become a belitting monster of gargantuan proportions and it needs to stop. I just don't want to be the guy that stops it, because if I call out the myth people just look at me, look at my midsection, and say, disappointed, "So you don't have a monster, then." I believe in the cause, but I will not be martyred for the cause.Harrison Mooneyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03261557020279875141noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16210951.post-84722926239904537422007-09-26T01:21:00.000-04:002007-09-26T01:21:00.000-04:00Hey Man, I feel you. As a black man, I feel the s...Hey Man, I feel you. As a black man, I feel the same way. When I was young, I thought that every adult had a big penis. Boy, I was wrong. While I am above average, I still would like one a little bigger, and for me, these phrases like the one about the ocean and a boat, do not make me feel any better. I would feel better with a bigger one. I think that I have a rather nice one, but a little more size would be great. Girls do not have a problem with it, but I do. This is great stuff, and you are not alone.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16210951.post-63303238770226212842007-08-17T05:25:00.000-04:002007-08-17T05:25:00.000-04:00Being Well Hung is Over ratedSigned Mr.MarcusBeing Well Hung is Over rated<BR/><BR/>Signed Mr.MarcusAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16210951.post-71458113962069034472007-08-03T11:53:00.000-04:002007-08-03T11:53:00.000-04:00loved this post!!! and particularly "okay dokey p...loved this post!!! and particularly "okay dokey pokey" totally killed me!<BR/><BR/>here's my take on it, if you hook up with asian chicks, chances are you'll come across more than average. they are er... well as the french say... "petit" in more ways than one!Soulsnarehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10853606525386869688noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16210951.post-64792713088138795182007-07-29T13:29:00.000-04:002007-07-29T13:29:00.000-04:00This post gets right to the problems of being a gu...This post gets right to the problems of being a guy with brown skin. You sit in the pub with a table full of guys and then suddenly one of them asks whether it's true what they say about black guys. I always used to answer that I wouldn't know as my dad's white. However, when I next used the gent's one of them would follow me and talk about something or other at the stand up urinal and take a quick look at my wares so that he could report back to everyone else.<BR/><BR/>The truth about my size is...I'll let you know next time we're at a stand up urinal.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12156598326006471119noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16210951.post-43740318792681102052007-07-06T10:07:00.000-04:002007-07-06T10:07:00.000-04:00I thought this was a great post. I too am a growe...I thought this was a great post. I too am a grower not a shower and have had to deal with not having that "show stopper" dick you may see in a porno or something. The thing is I got a nice dick and know how to work it. Us "average" guys need to get past it. Besides someone gave me a good piece of advice way back. I turned it into a motto...what my dick can't do my lips(or tongue really) can.DCMarauderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00354741112744892945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16210951.post-48937187148864013072007-07-01T22:09:00.000-04:002007-07-01T22:09:00.000-04:00Ok, I'll be #58 comment, here, geez!! Average whit...Ok, I'll be #58 comment, here, geez!! Average white girl here, had some experience with a VERY LARGE black man once upon a time, and all I could say was OUCH!!! Had to keep him "back" some to keep from damaging the inner workings. My average size guy now is big enough for me, is much much more condusive to oral.<BR/>I loved your letter, and laughed a lot at some of the comments, thanks!Janahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01657317340113564952noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16210951.post-26683564553886153512007-06-28T20:47:00.000-04:002007-06-28T20:47:00.000-04:00That was great!! You sure do have some talented wr...That was great!! You sure do have some talented writing skills. I truly enjoyed it!Kani Maliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13630196282293891343noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16210951.post-47549590428818479622007-06-28T15:22:00.000-04:002007-06-28T15:22:00.000-04:00Dear Assimilated Negro,Holy crap. I laughed so har...Dear Assimilated Negro,<BR/>Holy crap. I laughed so hard at this post. Well said. <BR/><BR/>If only the old addage of "grower, not a shower" were introduced to you at an earlier age...<BR/><BR/>I look forward to reading more of your blog.<BR/><BR/>-S.E. www.sapphire-ize.blogspot.comSapphire Eyeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02506483923641685084noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16210951.post-8839698635525030782007-06-27T11:53:00.000-04:002007-06-27T11:53:00.000-04:00I don't know why, but I love this letter. It sums...I don't know why, but I love this letter. It sums up so much and even made me laugh. I think I will keep this letter for my son just in case. I never realized men really had "problems" with their penis.Crazy Young Black Womenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11846985056610282486noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16210951.post-2464695499747186582007-06-24T19:46:00.000-04:002007-06-24T19:46:00.000-04:00This is got to be the worst, most CONTRIVED attemp...This is got to be the worst, most CONTRIVED attempt at bland, politically correct humour I've seen in a long time. And that's saying a lot.<BR/><BR/>Please tell me you didn't spend more than ten minutes writing this dreck. If you're going to take a stab at humour, <I>please</I> make it <B>funny</B>. Put some <I>effort</I> into it. I'm not asking much.Jonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16111890837493674540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16210951.post-79839150281418742762007-06-24T18:21:00.000-04:002007-06-24T18:21:00.000-04:00Dear Assimilated Negro,Size matters... but the rea...Dear Assimilated Negro,<BR/><BR/>Size matters... but the real question is, What Size?...<BR/><BR/>What a lot of people seem to miss is that WOMEN VARY IN SIZE DOWN THERE TOO.<BR/><BR/>Case in point, I have a bisexual female friend who's told me that "eight inches and fat" is her minimum for a good time, penis-wise. However, as she is bisexual, its very possible that this is due to some lesbian fisting going on. <BR/><BR/>Still, I have another friend who used to subscribe to the notion that "size didn't matter", and who actually found pictures of men with large penises repulsive (Playgirl)... until she finally had sex with a guy who had one.<BR/><BR/>The gent in question (who, going against sterotype, half Asian, half white) was something like ten inches and thick. My friend stated that it was "the best sex she ever had" and "so much better than an average size guy." Apparently 'motion of the ocean' did not enter into it. When asked specifically why the sex was so good, she flat out said, "Because he had a huge dick. And its a lot more likely to rub on certain things", i.e. her clit.<BR/><BR/>So now you're thinking, aw shit, it is only about having a monster schlong. But wait, going the other way...<BR/><BR/>... I knew a very cute girl in college, white, who had a bad experience getting hurt during sex by a guy with too big a dick. Said dick was 5 inches, and skinny, according to her. Apparently, she preferred them even smaller than that. Why? Because SHE was small down there too. So small dicks were her thing. <BR/><BR/>Yeah, yeah, you say. But women can have BABIES through there, you say. They could handle having sex with a farm animal if they had to, right?<BR/><BR/>Well, yes and no. The vagina can stretch tremendously, sure. But, you gotta remember, childbirth is an extremely UNPLEASANT, PAINFUL and TRAUMATIC experience for a woman, and one that her body spends nine months preparing for. Jane Average, unless she's spend some time with large sex toys preparing herself, is not going to have a great time with a monster dick. But Jane Large Vagina will, as my friend did.<BR/><BR/>I myself am strong side of average... a bit thicker than normal, but average length. Sex with my current girlfriend is difficult sometimes... she is smaller than average, so things like lots of foreplay are important, and sex can't go on for too long. Nice problem to have you might say, but really, it isn't optimal. If she was a bit larger down there, we could have more spontaneous, jump-right-into it sex sometimes, and it could go on for a good, long time.<BR/><BR/>In short, your 'problem' may be less of a problem than you think... unless you run into Jane Cavern, who has a huge vagina.<BR/><BR/>Finally, I do get that, as a black man, you're expected to have a huge dick. It's a silly expectation, based more on racist fears than reality. Sure, I'm willing to buy that the myth has a grain of truth... I played high school basketball, and there and at my gym I see black guys nude all the time. And some of them are somewhat impressive, but I see no evidence of the 'dick down to the knees' syndrome. The only guy I ever saw like that was a short Latino dude, ironically (who went as far as to shave naked to show it off, lol).<BR/><BR/>Basically, it seems that black guys are slightly longer, on average, and not significantly thicker. Not really a big deal, but the expectations are. If you're really concerned about it, all you can really do is lose weight (assuming you have some weight to lose), as for every 35 pounts overfat you are, you lose one inch of length due to your bone being covered up by the fat pad.<BR/><BR/>In the end though, it only really matter much to some women, probably women who are large down there. You're not a good match for them anyway, so why should you care about them? And things like how handsome you are matter a lot more anyway... just ask some ladies.<BR/><BR/>Sorry if you feel bad that you don't live up to the fantasy. But the fantasy isn't real anyway, in the vast majority of cases, and is based on fear and hatred. So why should you care about it much, if at all? :\Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16210951.post-37342355474594450732007-06-23T03:51:00.000-04:002007-06-23T03:51:00.000-04:00That is something!!!That is something!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com