Mets Are Playing Like Mediocre Missionary Sex

Are you familiar with the Mets Are Better Than Sex? It's only the bestest sexiest Mets blog evar!! Well, my peeps over there got to peep Citi Field on Friday (I know you know, but is it in your active/conscious mind that "peep" can serve as both noun and verb?). They took some nice pictures (I'm dying to see Citi Field!), so please go on over there and check them out if you haven't seen the field yet (or even if you have).

One of the ladies in the crew is not only cute and smart, but a SIGN-MAKER EXTRAORDINAIRE, and she's always wooing Mr. David Wright:


You might think, eh, I've seen better. But that "a" in the "heart" pops out and actively beats. And it's two-sided. So yeah, top that!

AnyMet, the boys in Flushing aren't playing to a level worthy of this girl or the sign. Very middling, very boring, very unexciting seen-it-and-done-it-before kind of sex going on at Citi to open the season. Almost makes me think I might like real sex more than the Mets. But then Johan's turn in the rotation comes and I pop a louisville slugger, and wetness ensues, and ... well, I've said too much already.

If they don't fix it up in a hurry soon though, they're gonna lose girls like Dee and the only fan left will be this dude.
So please think about that next time you don't want to drive in a runner in scoring position, Mr. Wright, Mr. Beltran et. al.

Sexy Signage Help Mets Win First Game at Citi Field [Mets Are Better Than Sex]

SWC image: via