Monday, December 12, 2011

21 More Questions

Here's a little piece of my 50 Cent 21 Questions parody. 

No comment on my Nate Dogg impression. Y'all know I intend to get someone to sing that for me. 

And even though it's old, I might still shoot a little sketch video for this, cause it's classic material. But in the meantime, in-between time...

New York City… 
you are now rallying…
with The Assimilated 

when I blog sometimes I twist the la 
write posts on my I-book g5 
it’s all white, like these girls that’s on my jock 
I don’t know son, it makes no sense to me 
hope you got everything you need cause I 
am so broke it might even make you cry 
got some questions that I gotta ask and I 
don’t give a fcuk what you give as an answer babe 
Grrrrrlll 
It’s easy to love TAN 
But what if I’m not a brand? 
Just a man 
Would you still have love for me? 
Grrrrrlll 
Can you get me a Ketel-cran? 
The official drink of TAN 
So scram
And show your love for me 
 
Verse 1 

if I got AIDS tomorrow would you still touch me? 
if I lost both my arms would you still hug me? 
if I got knocked into a coma for half a century could I count on you to still have respect for me mentally?
if I killed the prez i’m on the run from the feds 
would you mind wearing a beard and growing some dreds? 
if I give you a black eye you wearing glasses to hide? 
if you caught me cheating would you let it slide? 
if I got you a fake bag for $5.99 
are you giving me head or starting to whine? 
what if you work a tough job straight walking with blisters 
while I’m home, unemployed banging your sister? 
if I bite off your tongue would you bite back??? 
if I nut in your eye would you wipe that??? 
I could piss in your mouth you know a nightcap??? 
might pass a little gass I know you like that ... 
 CHORUS 

17 comments:

  1. Anonymous12/12/2006

    "piss in your mouth, you know a nightcap" mmmm, not my sort of fetish.

    but funny. this was one of my favorite songs when it came out.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I just threw my panties on my laptop.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous12/12/2006

    OMG! this is HILARIOUS, you have to add more tan. I am crying over here. easily the funniest thing i've heard in a while.

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  4. Anonymous12/12/2006

    good shit TAN. i like the eminem spoof more, with the voice, but this is very funny.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You know that uncomfortable thing that sometimes happens with a new person, like you think they are cool or whatever and then you find out they’re like an ACTIVE MEMBER of the Hall and Oates Fan Club and you do the emotional equivalent of backing away slowly?

    Well, I have always found your posts on Gawker to be pretty flawless. But so then I see that you have posted your own satirical rap and I thought, There it is. And I prepared to cringe.

    But no cringing! Actual laughing! That was pretty damn good!

    Whew! I feel relieved; I can continue to enjoy the Ghetto Pass.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous12/12/2006

    Soooo, I had a friend tell me recently that there's a rise in chlamydia of the eye among teenagers...

    Can TAN add this to the list of trends that he started??

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous12/12/2006

    well, it isn't as good as "White and Nerdy", but Oprah might enjoy it. And, isn't this more of an R. Kelly motif?

    ReplyDelete
  8. choatey - can't knock it until you tried it

    mist - exxxcellent. now what do we throw on my laptop

    anon1 - word. it's very likely there will be more added

    j - word ... eminem probably likes that one more also.

    ill-suit - glad we made it through that ok. though people emotionally backing away from me slowly, or quickly, is pretty much status quo for me.

    anon - hmmm, nah, gonna pass on taking credit for chlamydia ... thanks for the thought though.

    star - oprah would LOVE it. oprah and r kelly should do a video, that would be hot.

    ReplyDelete
  9. ...i think i just got moist...

    Seriously? Seriously!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous12/14/2006

    You're needed in Seattle. Desperately.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous12/15/2006

    You're fucking awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  12. blah - seriously??? must be pee. i get all the girls to pee.

    anon - ok, but not while it's raining

    sobercity - thanks. you're awesome for saying so.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous12/18/2006

    you nasty

    I love it.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous12/18/2006

    Brilliant...a little late, but brilliant!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Just got put on about this blog by a friend from college. I'm in tears after reading this and the Ghetto Pass post. Looking forward to reading more of your writing...
    -Brother Smartness

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anonymous12/28/2007

    speechless, crying....and speechless...and my stomach hurts, so does my face all up in the cheek area...

    ReplyDelete

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