Tuesday, December 12, 2006

21 More Questions

Here's a little piece of my 50 Cent 21 Questions parody.

No comment on my Nate Dogg impression. Y'all know I intend to get someone to sing that for me. And even though it's old, I might still shoot a little sketch video for this, cause it's classic material.

But in the meantime, in-between time ...

MP3 File

New York City …
you are now rallying …
with The Assimilated

when I blog sometimes I twist the la
write posts on my I-book g5
it’s all white, like these girls that’s on my jock
I don’t know son, it makes no sense to me
hope you got everything you need cause I
am so broke it might even make you cry
I got some questions that I gotta ask and I
don’t give a fcuk what you give as an answer baby

It’s easy to love TAN
But what if I’m not a brand?
Just a man
Would you still have love for me?
Can you get me a Ketel-cran?
The official drink of TAN
So scram
And show your love for me

Verse 1

if I got AIDS tomorrow
would you still touch me?
if I lost both my arms
would you still hug me?
if I got knocked into a coma for half a century
could I count on you to still have respect for me mentally?
if I killed the prez
i’m on the run from the feds
would you mind wearing a beard
and growing some dreds?
if I give you a black eye
you wearing glasses to hide?
if you caught me cheating
would you let it slide?
if I got you a fake bag for $5.99
are you giving me head
or starting to whine?
what if you work a tough job
straight walking with blisters
while I’m home, unemployed
banging your sister?
if I bite off your tongue
would you bite back???
if I nut in your eye
would you wipe that???
I could piss in your mouth
you know a nightcap???
might pass a little gass
I know you like that ...


More TAN Audio

Separate Lyrics Link
Original Song Lyrics


  1. "piss in your mouth, you know a nightcap" mmmm, not my sort of fetish.

    but funny. this was one of my favorite songs when it came out.

  2. I just threw my panties on my laptop.

  3. Anonymous12/12/2006

    OMG! this is HILARIOUS, you have to add more tan. I am crying over here. easily the funniest thing i've heard in a while.

  4. good shit TAN. i like the eminem spoof more, with the voice, but this is very funny.

  5. You know that uncomfortable thing that sometimes happens with a new person, like you think they are cool or whatever and then you find out they’re like an ACTIVE MEMBER of the Hall and Oates Fan Club and you do the emotional equivalent of backing away slowly?

    Well, I have always found your posts on Gawker to be pretty flawless. But so then I see that you have posted your own satirical rap and I thought, There it is. And I prepared to cringe.

    But no cringing! Actual laughing! That was pretty damn good!

    Whew! I feel relieved; I can continue to enjoy the Ghetto Pass.

  6. Anonymous12/12/2006

    Soooo, I had a friend tell me recently that there's a rise in chlamydia of the eye among teenagers...

    Can TAN add this to the list of trends that he started??

  7. well, it isn't as good as "White and Nerdy", but Oprah might enjoy it. And, isn't this more of an R. Kelly motif?

  8. choatey - can't knock it until you tried it

    mist - exxxcellent. now what do we throw on my laptop

    anon1 - word. it's very likely there will be more added

    j - word ... eminem probably likes that one more also.

    ill-suit - glad we made it through that ok. though people emotionally backing away from me slowly, or quickly, is pretty much status quo for me.

    anon - hmmm, nah, gonna pass on taking credit for chlamydia ... thanks for the thought though.

    star - oprah would LOVE it. oprah and r kelly should do a video, that would be hot.

  9. ...i think i just got moist...

    Seriously? Seriously!

  10. Anonymous12/14/2006

    You're needed in Seattle. Desperately.

  11. Anonymous12/15/2006

    You're fucking awesome.

  12. blah - seriously??? must be pee. i get all the girls to pee.

    anon - ok, but not while it's raining

    sobercity - thanks. you're awesome for saying so.

  13. mermaidintherudder12/18/2006

    you nasty

    I love it.

  14. Anonymous12/18/2006

    Brilliant...a little late, but brilliant!

  15. Just got put on about this blog by a friend from college. I'm in tears after reading this and the Ghetto Pass post. Looking forward to reading more of your writing...
    -Brother Smartness

  16. Anonymous12/28/2007

    speechless, crying....and speechless...and my stomach hurts, so does my face all up in the cheek area...


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