Dave Chappelle Is Dead. Long Live Chappelle.

So if you didn't see this, the final three episodes of Chappelle's Show, which are apparently far from "Lost", are available on the internet. Defamer and blogger Jackson West are on leak detail.

Meanwhile, over at the dead-frog they have one of the episodes up via you-tube, leading off with the sketch that Dave Chappelle told Anderson Cooper was the one that really triggered his feelings of social responsibility.

Here's the Anderson Cooper segment/video on CNN.

I don't think any of this is really new. The Chappelle "I'm Not Crazy" Tour has pretty much been the same show, and seen by everyone who's interested at this point. But it's probably time for it to stop, as the inevitable backlash (the only things certain in this world are death, taxes, and haterade) is starting to build. No one wants to hear about a guy turning his back on 50 million the way Chappelle did for too long. It's sort of like Diddy's Making The Band 2, where no one wanted to hear these kids, especially Dylan, "complain" about particular aspects of what overall looks like an incredible opportunity that just about anyone would love to have, and just about no one will.

I can understand being tired of the schpiel, and maybe I've sipped too much of the Chappelle Kool-Aid, but the apparently growing sentiment that Chappelle's an asshole who needs to grow up is incredibly short-sighted and reeks of jealousy. Let's go over Ray Richmond's points:

#1: "I watched the first of three 'Chappelle's Show: The Lost Episodes' installments Sunday night on Comedy Central, and here's my take: It's funny, but not as funny as the first two seasons were." -- You've already lost me here, right out the gate. I saw the first episode and it wasn't as funny as the last two seasons. First off, obviously everyone's going to be looking at the show with an extra air of scrutiny. Second, a season has 3-5 sketches, a season might have 50 or more.

#2: He says he was initially understanding of the situation, "But once it became clear that Chappelle was not in fact returning, my attitude began to turn." -- If you're in fact understanding and empathetic, you don't turn it off when they do something you don't like. If a drug addict, or someone who has some cyclical problem (don't we all?) falls down or fucks up somehow, you don't turn on them. Or at least not if you're family or a good friend and care about the person. We were all unhappy to see Chappelle's Show go, but no need to turn sour on the guy for it.

#3: "He just held court last week with Anderson Cooper on CNN and continued to find fresh new ways of saying essentially nothing." -- As I mentioned before the I'm-not-crazy tour is getting old, but after seeing Chappelle say "essentially nothing" over again, it's clear to me that obviously he's still wrestling with the issues. And faced with the overwhelming pressure of needing to provide the media some "definitive answers" (lest they call him a crackhead instead of confused) he has to say something. I find his interviews feel like he's going through a repeated series of breakups with different girls, girls that he liked, but has to part with, for reasons he's unsure about. In that situation, you might hem and haw, and try to explain your philosophy on life and love. But if you ask the girl, she'd probably be annoyed and say you offered "essentially nothing." Meanwhile the guy feels he's saying a lot, he's baring his soul.

#4: "The truth is that Chappelle let down a lot of people who depended upon him and his show for their living." -- this is the start of the choicest graf, where I think we find the "jealous ones envy" reveal, "I personally know a lot of people who can't find work and struggle to make ends meet, and here's a guy who has it all and chucks it seemingly on a whim." -- first off, before chappelle's show became a beast, what were these people doing for a living? My guess is you're not going to find any people talking about how they wish they never got involved with Chappelle's Show in the first place. Two seasons of work is a lot more than other get, and there's probably no great programming on television more reliant on the talents of one person (including 24, since keefer madness doesn't write). If you're trying to get to hollywood from NY, and you're walking, and I'm driving, and I offer you a ride, but can only take you part of the way, for whatever reason, you can't complain I didn't take you all the way. Fuck that. I'll take you back to where you started ni**a. Get to walking.

#5: "What irks me the most, however, is Chappelle's gall in acting as if he didn't really owe Comedy Central a thing." -- Clearly this guy is a talentless no-talent dweeb with no talent. The rest of the piece he basically talks about how Chappelle is violating a contract, and is treating the NETWORK Comedy Central poorly. Entertainers, artists, etc do not get big paydays handed to them. These are businesses. If Chappelle gets 50 million, rest assured he's made this company a lot more than that in ad revenue and dvd sales. Big scores like this are not like job interviews where you beat out the competition. These are thank you gifts. Thank you for making us a lot of money. If you gave someone fifty mill to do some work, and they just took it and said, "fuck you, i'm feeling a little foggy in my head, I'm gonna just chill with your money." you would do what you can to get the money back, and promptly sever ties with the asshole. If CC has legal options to force Dave's hand, they're not going to be the "bigger person" and say, " whatevs." But instead of that you have CC president Doug Herzog saying the door is still open. Why? Because Chappelle made him a lot of money, and could make him a lot of money again.

Here endeth the TAN-getting-in-Ray-Richmond's-ass part of the show.


I can definitely empathize with Dave, some of my content can make me feel a little awkward in certain contexts, and multiply that by Dave's platform and exposure and, voila, you're in africa wondering why you do what you do. If a white guy somehow finds the frequency that allows him to satirize and have fun with racial humor, and he blows up, at some point he'll have to start wondering if he's some sort of racist-monger or whatever. Dave's negroness allows him to do a show like this, but it doesn't exempt him from having a conscience. Obviously he loves what he does, he's been doing it more than half his life and he's not even 40. It's not a "work" thing, it's about your legacy. If you get ten million or one-hundred million, at that point it's not about the dollars, it's about you and your mark. And if your "gift" is to make spot-on racial sketches, and allow millions of people to feel at ease using the word, "bitches" and "ni**a" that could give you reason for pause. A very long pause. Don't hate cause he's rich and can do what he wants. We all want the same thing. Respect what got him into the position.

And with that, I think I hear the "wrap that shit up" music playing in the background. So I'm out ... bitches.

Some Drunk White People Are Very Very Special

(Still dutifully researching "Drunk White People". Have a bunch of them passed out in my basement RIGHT NOW, but studies remain inconclusive. However, send me your tales of Drunk White People preposterousness and I'll let you know when the official academic logs and reports come out. Look quizzically at a drunk white person, take mental notes, and we can change the world! More drunken TAN content to come! See below for more background.)

More on the you can not pass out around white people" beat. A few days ago T tipped me to a bizarre story, almost a direct re-enactment of this Chappelle joke: 25 year old white guy passes out on a friend's couch, wakes up to find his peeps have drawn human genitalia on his face, then proceeds to pull out a POCKETKNIFE because, apparently, Murfreesboro Tennessee mf'ers don't play that. A pocketknife.

The Smoking Gun picked the story up a couple days later with an amusing addendum:

In a TSG interview, Masse denied pulling a knife, but confirmed that a penis had been drawn on his face and that it "took some scrubbing" to remove the image, which apparently was applied with a Sharpie-like marker.

(Ha. how much for the impressionist peen, sharpie-on-canvas?)

I honestly believe that if we could figure out how the psychology in a series of events like this works we could end racism. Or something similarly monumental. There is definitely some gold in the deranged pathos that leads to getting joy out of drawing a penis on your friend's face.

Negro 101: Yo Son, What is Up With The Kids Saying "Son" All The Time?

[TAN: OLD SCHOOL. LIKE YO MTV RAPS, BUT BLOGGIER. STILL WAITING FOR OBAMA TO DROP A "SON" ON 'EM. IT'S COMING DURING REELECTION SEASON...]

In the comments of a recent Dear TAN, the esteemed Orange poses a question:

How come "son" tacked onto something, often in a somewhat admonitory fashion, is a black thing? Why hasn't this caught on among white folks? Can we get some unassimilated etymology here?

wonderful question. sometime in the past decade (i'm pretty sure it was chappelle, but haven't actually run the numbers) the slang term "son" crossed over into mainstream. like real MAINstream. Oprah could use it as a quip (she probably has). Judd Apatow is writing it into a script as we speak. I'd take some odds on Obama dropping it sometime in the next four years. (especially if these journys want to keep asking tough questions. Obama's definitely gonna snap on someone like, "YO SON, I TOLD YOU WE WAS GONNA ISSUE A MOTHERF'ING STATEMENT NEXT MOTHERF'ING WEEK. DO YOU WANT TO ASK ANOTHER QUESTION, SON? No seriously, do you?")

Anyson, I disagree that white people aren't using it. Maybe normal white people aren't using it? But there aren't [m]any of those left here in NYC (ha!). And for that matter, normal black people aren't using it either. (fyi, I'd draw the line of normalcy somewhere around 35-36 years old.)

The term has definitely graduated though. It's in the urban slang Hall of Fame. It didn't break in with the inaugural class of superstar slang like, "dope" "word" "fresh" "wack" etc. Or the suspect second generation of "phat" and "jiggy". But now it's got the necessary votes. word.

And it's a nice piece of slang, especially when you know about it ... so herewith is a brief lesson on "son" history/usage:

Will 'Keeping It Real" Ever Go Right?

One of my favorite sketches from the popular and missed-more-every-second Chappelle's Show was called "When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong". The sketch basically satirized the whole sensibility of "Uncle Tom" and "Keeping It Real" and "Politics of Authenticity/Identity" that can lead to denying your come-up in the world, i.e when success = sellout. And ... well let me not explain when we can watch it; it's only a couple minutes and well worth it:

[quick aside: in my first days at college i was a little notorious for breaking out animated-recitations-of-hip-hop-refrains as non-sequitur answers to normal class conversation, aka rapping in class. so for example, in my freshman seminar, i don't remember if this was the exact line, but imagine something to the effect of:

Teacher: "So, Patrice, what do you think about the summer reading? Could you relate to the protagonist's struggle in Manchild in the Promised Land?"

TAN: "I'LL THROW IT DOWN YOUR THROAT LIKE BARKLEY. YOU SEE THE CAR KEYS??? YOU'LL NEVER GET THESE!!" and then just look at the teacher like nothing out of the ordinary happened. it was pretty much the mid-90s college version of "when keeping it real goes wrong."]

So as with most good comedy, there's some other darker stuff lurking underneath.

David Alan Grier Is Respected, But Can He Be Relevant?

these pics couldn't run with my analysis of David Alan Grier's Chocolate News show on EbonyJet. so i'm posting/teasing here along with excerpts:

When black-oriented comedy or satire falls short it's usually because it's outdated. [...]

This is why I'd suspect most young bruhs and sistahs weren't especially motivated by the previews/trailers/ads for Chocolate News, David Alan Grier's attempt at filling the Black Hole in television programming with his urban version of The Daily Show. Fronted by a guy who hasn't made you laugh since In Living Color, and teasing us with clips premised around ideas like hip hop being sexist/violent/hoe-laden, and white people using the n-word. Ehhh, done and done. Even the mildly amusing ad campaign pictured above right was executed better a couple years ago by a different network.

[...]

2. Can The Satirical News Show Work For Negroes?: Beyond the challenge of execution and high expectations, this is the heart of the problem for a show like Chocolate News. And I can't articulate it better than this waffling Salon review:

When Stephen Colbert launched his "Report," he made it clear to anyone with a sense of irony that he was riffing on Bill O'Reilly and his ilk. But even if Grier were to base his caricature on a media figure like Tavis Smiley or Tom Joyner, how many of us would get it? And how much fun could you make of either of those guys, anyway? Political humor is best served as a poke in the eye of power; Smiley and Joyner's influence and name recognition aren't anywhere near as strong as O'Reilly's."

Only one of these guys can be a satirical news-anchor host

All this said, most of the reviews are optimistic with reservations. Acknowledging the show is not quite funny yet, but if it gets time the talent and concept could lead to a solid piece of television. Which is a fair assessment. Listening to Grier do his Maya Angelou on the radio for NPR translates a whole lot better than seeing another black-guy-in-a-fatsuit routine. So there's hope. Who knows, maybe by the time we get a Black president, we'll also have a Black Daily Show that's worth talking about.

Until then, even if it's a little bittersweet, I might have to settle for my chocolate news no matter what form it comes in.

Could Grier Make Us Forget Chappelle [EbonyJet]
Grier Enters Political ComedyFray [NYT]
Chocolate News Spoofs, Satirizes [NPR]
SemiSweet CHocolate News [Salon]

Dear TAN: Martin Lawrence & The Circle of Def Comedy

I once started a neverending interview, but now we're switching to a "Dear TAN" feature. Send your questions/letters to theassimilatednegro [at] gmail [dot] com.

In this edition: Martin Lawrence has a new comedy show!

Dear TAN3,

Yo, I got some sort of pub pre-release note on Martin Lawrence's new show. Not sure if I'm gonna be able to peep it and write something before the show airs (July 9th), but since you're the Prime Minister of Everthing Related To Martin I thought I'd pass it along and see if you had any thoughts. holla back.

-TAN

~

Dear TAN,

Good looks with the link. I checked it out and a couple of clips. My thoughts:

Ever since the debut of the ORIGINAL Def Comedy Jam (hosted by our boy Martin...pre-Gina), everyone has been trying to emulate the success of that program. This had spawned the horrendous P. Diddy's Bad Boyz of Comedy and the lackluster reincarnated Def Comedy Jam - hosted by DL Hughley.

This difference in these shows and the original classic Def Comedy Jam is that the original show featured talent that was already developed. It just provided a venue to bring them all together and showcased their talent. Off the top of my head, I remember seeing Martin, Chris Tucker, Chris Rock, Steve Harvey, Cedric the Entertainer, Dave Chappelle, Bernie Mac - and that's just who came to mind!

Key points - 1) These guys were already good and somewhat known 2) With that kind of talent - you HAVE to bring your A game - or else you'll be exposed. The attempted recreations of that show are all missing that key element. While it's great to give new guys a chance - the fact of the matter is that all the talent have been nobodies - and they just aren't funny. You have to have at least one anchor to hold things down - and get TAN3 to tune in!

As for Martin Lawrence's show - it appears that he is purely behind the scenes - understandable. The clips show that he is at least showcasing some talent that we already know - Ricky Smiley, DC Curry, Guy Torry - which is a good start. I don't know who the host is - but he can't be worse than the new Def Jam host - DL Hughley (I've never been a fan).

I didn't have the patience to sit through the full show - so I only watched the clips. Decent. Again - I think it's good that he seems to be starting with better talent, so this show at least has a chance to be good. It's somewhat disappointing that he only makes an appearance in the audience and never on stage though...Yeah, I know it's just like Kobe not wanting to do the dunk contest anymore - but give the people what they want!! Word!

~

Word up.

I'm actually feeling a little harsher in terms of him not participating. Even if the show is great, since his name is on the marquee I think it's dropping the ball for him not to participate. We know DCJ, and so they're following the formula that worked, but with the examples you point out obviously it's not a no-brainer equation that couldn't use some sprucing up and creative thinking in terms of approach. And with us assimilated negroes in particular, I think this formula-following laziness kills us. Some of it is just american capitalism; i.e. everyone's copycatting, and it's just the cycle of life for artists, performers etc to work hard on breaking through, then wash-and-repeat until they get old and fall off. Whichever comes first. But for our modern-day negro icons, these dudes had to be so different and special to get their platform that it feels ridiculous when they so easily fall back on the okey-doke whatever-whatever just-put-my-name-on-the-thing-and-get-my-checks flowing.

Easier said than done -- I've even fallen victim on my small blog-level ish -- but legends like Martin are supposed to show a better example for us young bucks coming up in the system. Plus he was so abundant with the characters and creativity when he broke in. Shoot, he could have Otis host the show or something.

That said, he was another one who fell victim to White-People-Drive-You-Crazy disease, like Chappelle. It's kind of ridiculous how much that happens, especially with the comedians. Maybe because they're speaking the truth? Hmmmm ... I guess that's fodder for another post.

Anymartin, as for the clips, as you say they have some established talent, so they might be closer to the winning formula than some of the recent also-ran efforts that have come out recently. This clip below is pretty damn funny UPDATE: some rigamarole happened with the original clip, so I'm inserting an alternate, but unfortunately it doesn't have the jokes I found so funny.



oh, and PS: the host, Doug Williams, has been featured on TAN before. I guess he's come along since the Jamie Foxx fiasco.

You Can Not Pass Out Around White People

So I was going to write about my NYE "Party Crash" style, because it was a quintessentially TAN evening with both a caucasian party and a negro party on the docket. And honestly, on Sunday my cloudy brain was absolutely flummoxed by the black/white partying dichotomy.

But I don't have time to flesh it out, and the negro party is largely irrelevant, only serving as racial contrast and control to what I'm really curious about: what is going on with white people at parties?

In lieu of the Party Crash, I offer Dave Chappelle's analysis:



But seriously folks. I would have thought those stereotypes expired once I got out of college, but peep this NYE aftermath written by the hostess of a party I went to in Williamsburg. That's definitely some ass-meet-carrot ish right there. And seriously? Wine on the walls and the autographed Dolly Parton poster? A hole in the wall?? Tampons on the couch??? Who does this? As an assimilated negress friend of mine said when I shared the story, "black people of the same socio-economic/education level would NEVER do that."

And she makes a good point, because you want to say it's just some entitled ish, but no. Black people get to' up and will do some drunken nonsense, but never no carrot-in-your-ass like this. It's like this ilk of white people were raised by animals. Can someone please explain this phenomenon?

The flip side of this is the aftermath itself. This girl got Paypal donate links and ish, and still manages to say Happy New Year to folks. As far as I'm concerned the scene in those pics is WAY beyond Paypal. Like Dave says in the clip, this type of behavior is a DEATH SENTENCE on the street. If someone got red wine on my autographed GZA poster, it's A WRAP for them. I would most certainly be hunting hipster in Williamsburg right this very moment. Fuck carrots!

Dave Chappelle In London

Dave Chappelle is not dead. Alive and well ... and in this video, doing some stand-up in London.

"I say a lot of racist jokes, and my mouth says racist things ... but my penis is a humanitarian ..."



via: BCP/Elon

Related:
Chappelle Is Dead. Long Live Chappelle

What The F@ck Is Juice?

One of Chappelle's classic standup bits:

A Sense Of Humor Is A Terrible Thing To Waste

Dear Hip Hop,

Waddup son.

Yo did you peep that Alanis Morissette video? It's fire.

I think the song itself is better executed than the video; but with a stroke of inspiration like this, nitpicking is silly. The genius here has nothing to do with the execution, and everything to do with Alanis Morissette, artist, having a sense of humor.

How come you don't ever do stuff like that? Caucasians have no problem hamming it up, and sometimes even being funny with it (see Weird Al, and Em); but for the most part you're like, "nah, strictly girls and money, or maybe politics, that's all I got respect for. Real ni**a ish."

This "keeping it real" impulse is the same sensibility that allows critics to call pre-Humps Alanis Morissette a "drippy flower child." My art is too serious for jokes. My ish is too real for humor. This ain't a game. You're always saying that.

And I understand, I'm not hating. You are who you are. I mean when you were on your grind, on the come-up, no one wanted to take you seriously. So this stance makes sense. Anyone who's overcome a lot to to achieve their position is not going to be all enthused about jokes that possibly shortchange all the work they put in. Unfortunately, it might leave you looking like a humorless a**hole. I think Kanye might know something about this.

But yo, you're all grown up now son. And part of growing up is you can laugh at real ish. You don't need cartoons and ridiculous silliness. I mean everyone likes cartoons sometimes, but I know your sense of humor is definitely more nuanced than you let on.

I know you can do parody and satire. I know you got jokes-and-jokes-and-jokes son. That's why I thought you needed to hang out with Chappelle more. His show was like you. When I first saw it I thought, "this ni**a is just like hip hop." Funny sketches followed by dope music was a hot formula. "Pee On You" was scalding.

Anyhumor, I hope you get the balls to do some Alanis Morissette type flame-throwing. If you got one of your "serious artists" to do a cover of "This Is Why I'm Hot," or one of these other idiotic songs proliferating the airwaves and clubs, that might spark some nice buzz. I'll definitely be looking forward to it.

Peece,

TAN

Negro Law: Can We Still Guilt Trip White Folks On Slavery?

Over on okayplayer today:

I can remember a time when a white person could be getting too big for his britches and a black person could always say, "Hey dude! Slavery!" It would automatically cool things down and give everyone proper perspective: Don't anyone start feeling too high-and-mighty because I could be like any of you, if not for slavery.

But nowadays mentioning the 300 years (or is it 400 now?) of oppression you've endured doesn't carry the same wallop. White people are so damn comfortable now. Everyone's casually dropping the n-word in movies and television. Britney Spears shaved her head during Black History Month like it was nothing. Caucasians are rapping on youtube like their great-great-great grandparents were slaves whose descendants were so disenfranchised all they could do was effuse street staccato poetry over African rhythms to entertain people and empower themselves. It's crazy.

CONTINUED IN NEGROPEDIA


Negro Law: Can We Still Guilt-Trip White Folks Over Slavery? [okayplayer]

Ku Klux Kramer

TMZ has video of Michael Richards, better known as "Kramer" on Seinfeld, going on a racially-charged rant after two black people heckle him in a comedy club in LA.

The camera started rolling just as Richards began his attack, screaming at one of the men, "Fifty years ago we'd have you upside down with a f***ing fork up your ass." Richards continued, "You can talk, you can talk, you're brave now motherf**ker. Throw his ass out. He's a nigger! He's a nigger! He's a nigger! A nigger, look, there's a nigger!"

The video is interesting as it's not just a totally manic rant, well it is, but he becomes self-consciously aware of the impending controversy, and eventually tries to appeal to the crowd, "They're going to arrest me for calling a black man a nigger."

When is a word that's just a word, not just a word? I can understand the confusion for white people. You loved Chappelle's Show. You see an offensive character like Borat become a box-office superstar. And you've got a guy like Damon Wayans trying to trademark the word. There is obviously a rising comfort level. And it's not just wacky entertainers like Kramer, teachers are letting it just roll off the tongue also. But it's best to just let it go, don't go there. It's not edgy coming from you. Maybe after we get a black president, we'll feel a little more secure in our position, and adjust some of the laws regarding "n-word" usage, but for now hold back. The double-standard remains in effect, ni**as can say it, crackas can't. Sorry.

Kramer's Racist Tirade [TMZ]
Trademarking Racism [TAN]
"Can You Loan A Ni**ah A Pencil?" [TAN]

Caucasia Strikes Back, "We Use Nasty Washcloths Too!"

Well, the theory was white people don't use washcloths, and black folks do. But the caucasians have been sufficiently earnest enough in expressing that they, too, enjoy the scrubbing action of a nice, bacteria-laden, slimy washcloth.

Moreover PDaviddy burst my bubble in informing that Keef Keith is in fact a white Jewish guy who just happens to be very comfortable using the word "peeps." So I rescind the smack threat and just say, "CHALLAH!"

CSI is still on the case, but between this and mayo (see comments), it does seem the racial divide is closing. *cue music*

For the record, I used a washcloth until I entered "the program." But even out the womb, I have always enjoyed my sandwiches with mayonnaise.

Finally, I think the "soap bar is dirty" argument is absoutely ridiculous. But to end this on a right note, and show that you "what about the soap?" guys aren't alone, I'll end with a classic sketch from Chappelle's Show, Trading Spouses, where he touches on this very topic.