Breaking: Trinity College's Assimilation Program Stronger Than Most

I can't say much on this. I believe these pictures say more than a million words about life at my alma mater *slowly shakes head in shame* Trinity College.

Otherwise, I guess all you need to know is, these pics are from Halloween '06. And the captions, when present, aren't mine, they come from the picture file names. I believe they're also uploaded on facebook.

I guess I could add that I never visited Trinity before I attended, but I suspect if I visited and this guy popped out the bushes holding a fake (hopefully?) army rifle I may have just stuck with my reach school, University of Phoenix.

Also, Trinity produces black folk like TAN, and white people like this guy. Slowly but surely getting a monopoly on churning out confused children. Go Bants! Get those admission apps ready!!

best friends .... despite the race difference

blackface

by far the best picture of the night

Overcompensating at the Condom Factory

(Even post-rapture the lord continues to forsake me when I'm drunk. and has yet to weigh in on the proper size of condoms)

ORIGINAL:

From the BBC:
"A survey of more than 1,000 men in India has concluded that condoms made according to international sizes are too large for a majority of Indian men."

awwww. Gives a whole new meaning to "Slumdog Millionaire", doesn't it? Oh wait, actually it doesn't do that at all.

It does mean, though, that the "majority of Indian men" don't have enough burger for comely Indian-American model/meat-eater Padma Lakshmi.



AnyHardee, yeah, maybe that's not true either, but it turns out getting the specs on these "condoms" the kids are all raving about is a tricky business. In India they're too small, but over in South Africa, *cough*, they have a different problem. All of this is racist, but apparently true!

Also, it makes me think that maybe average-size isn't so bad. Also also reminds me of that poem, "footprints in the sand". I had a similar experience, you see, where I dreamed of walking the beach with the Lord, and all the love-scenes from my life flash across the sky, and I notice footprints, sometimes one pair, sometimes two. And seeing that saddened me because I noticed that I'd see two footprints when i was sober, or when i had a girlfriend, but whenever I'd get drunk and out of control i'd only see one. And I asked the Lord, "why do you forsake me when I'm drunk??! that's when i need you most" And he/she replied, "it's true, I do get the f out of dodge when you get drunk. You're sort of an insufferable knowitall. But look again at the sand, because when I leave you i give you a little extra to work with in my absence."


footsteps image: via

Lazy Blogger's Guide to the Joel Johnson Racist Twitter-Stalk Shitstorm

a couple days ago there were a couple posts on popular tech-blog Gizmodo that generated a lot of blog-media response and about 100K views of shitstorm. well, not hardcore shitstorm. but all told maybe an internetquake level 4, 5, 6ish event? ( mel gibson hate rant, iPhone 4 theft, michael jackson dying are approx. level 8, 9, 10ish).

but, in defense of its magnitude, this particular shitstorm involved Real Issues. ones like race, and privilege, and 'other-ing', and generally being different and getting along on the internet. These are the shitstorms that get me singing in the rain because the latent social psychology is easily converted to actionable real world wisdom: The sexy black woman you stalk on Twitter can easily be the sexy smart woman you stalk/ogle from afar in the bar! or the hot/stupid/broke man! or whatever sates your personal hunger for new and different shit/'diversity'.

In spirit, the idea of "Let's everyone stalk each other!" has a level-10 merit for any conversation even vaguely connected to the notion of information/power/freedom-to-all internet idealism. should subjective novelistic creative non-fiction be part of the content agenda? When you complain about a hot-trendy restaurant, are you challenging the food, the presentation, or the hype?

worldwide q&a sessions figure to be a confusing mess for a few more days, but at least people are talking. getting the shit out of their system. i think we still need blogs to serve as Ex-Lax for these all-too-often constipated states of america. the internet, for better and worse, is our collective mental toilet bowl.
still, there's a lot of bullshit out in them thar pageviews. a lot of noise. and too much noise is annoying. but as you probably remember, or are soon to forget, TAN is like your expensive/free pair of noise canceling headphones that allows you to listen to the real issues at a comfortable level without exposing yourself to the problem of noisy-reading fatigue...

so let's light some incense throw on some grown folk music, and chillax the internet with some soothing TAN-notes of equanimity:

the short backstory: a white tech-blogger whrites a short bit on stalking a sexy black christian woman to diversify his internet culture diet. backlash ensues.

for those who want to get in and get out, here's a soundbyte: read about the joel johnson twitstorm? see, that's what happens when u steal $5 and people act like its $10 (feel free to spice that up while sharing!)

this is the main point because this is a major problem with internet discourse: people commit the crime of stealing $1 or $5, and they're often accused of stealing $5 or $10. PLEASE REMEMBER THIS AS YOU GO FORTH AND SHITSTORM THE INTERNET. It's easy to pad your i'm-so-smart invoice with a couple extra bucks in pursuit of pageview juice-and-gin. but you're f'ing up the pricing of our intellectual/cultural economy. so mind the details.

Notes and Links: Who Will Be LeBron James's Next NBA Franchise?

"The Decision". LeBronapalooza. LeBronageddon. Whatever you want to call it, it's impossible to escape.

My boy Leitch (who recently made his own commitment, for slightly less dollars) has been all over the King James beat for NY Mag. This comes a couple months after he co-authored the Magazine's cover story/pitch (where the image comes from). So you could do worse for a one-stop shop on all the nuts and bolts...

But it's not like you necessarily need a one-stop shop since everywhere has a little something-something to offer. Last night Julianne Moore was on The Daily Show, promoting her new movie "The Kids Are All Right". It's a movie that some might regard as important, offering as it does a modern take on the au courant issue of gay marriage and gay parenting in America. Still, the main topic of conversation was LeBron's Choice. And the best part was Julianne Moore being so eager/earnest to discuss it despite being somewhat ignorant to the nuance and variables of the story (for example, zero awareness of how signing Amar'e helps, not hurts, with LeBron). I suspect this means her native NY'er hubby might be paying more attention to #LeBron twitter alerts than his stunning Hollywood wife with a new movie out, and she's just trying to keep up with the slang of it all.

Defending the Indefensible: On Mel Gibson's Mixtape of Hate

Perhaps you've heard, Mel Gibson is outing his inner demons again. Now granted if the contents of the tape are revealed to be true, there's no legitimate "defense" for telling your wife she looks fit to be "gang-raped" (which, yes, I agree the sex-crime deserves 'precedent' over the "N-word" business). But per the "Defending the Indefensible" post/agenda, I think it's worth sprinkling some 'chill-out' on this story.

1. The bloodlust for these kind of stories is a little unseemly, don't you think? My blog-kingdom for a mirror to hold up in front of our collective media culture as they tweet and link with faces and iphones smeared with blood and feces and body parts from these freshly torn apart celebrities. I can't spit it better than Jay-Z in a freestyle jackals don't listen to, but I'd be less cynical if they so earnestly dug into institutional racism with the same hunger. Unless you exist in Mel Gibson's circle of peeps, his personal demons shouldn't be "news".

2. Personal demons is the thing here. Racists are humans also. I'm with Mike Epps on this "cry for help" angle. And this is why the NAACP and Jesse Jackson popping into the picture makes me want to call some of my homies and man-rape these dudes who leverage a story like this for their own agenda, but play no part in separating wheat from chaff in our hip hop culture, know nothing of a Lupe Fiasco or Jay Electronica, etc. etc. There is in fact work to be done, and there would be less if these dudes weren't holding racist parades over bullshit all the time.

Packed My Bowl, Err Bags, And Moved To Portland

From the town that brought you the Portland Jailblazers, and mad roses, comes the latest smellgood sensation: the first "marijuana cafe" in the United States.

The Cannabis Cafe in Portland, Oregon (opened mid-November), is the first to give certified medical marijuana users a place to get hold of the drug and smoke it -- as long as they are out of public view -- despite a federal ban.

Just make sure it's not Oregono you're smoking. hey-O!

Previously From the Oregon News Dispatch:
There's a "Meet A Black Guy" Booth In Oregon [TAN]

DJ David Sedaris on the Wheels of Steel

yo, i knew my homey, my stromey david sedaris was down with hip hop! that's got to be why he's dropping his next audiobook in a format they used to call vinyl. wax. phonograph records.

i think it's a very cute hipster-funky idea, but i honestly haven't seen a working victrola in some time now. does apple still make those?

i can't imagine at a hopped up price and less material ($25 and doesn't have all the material, huh?), that it's getting the best opportunity to succeed. but i sincerely wish this "vinyl" good tidings on the marketplace.

And I definitely hope DJ Sedaris takes the opportunity to cut and scratch and blend his essays for a pipin' hot new yorker literary party or something. he should include katie couric and black lady gaga in his video girl entourage.

word.

Popular Author's Audiobook Tries New Format: Vinyl [NYT]

image: via

If It Looks Like a Duck, And Quacks Like a Duck, Then Maybe It Has a Spiraling Maze-Like Vagina

Sometimes you come across things on the internet and you're like, how did this not result in an intergalactic media extravaganza, the likes of which a leaked Michael Jackson-Sarah Palin sex tape could only hope to muster, ... or at least land a Time magazine cover story or something:

Female ducks have evolved "maze-like" genitals with many twists, pouches and dead ends, in a bid to prevent rape and retain control of who fathers their offspring – while male ducks have evolved equally convoluted penises to keep up.

OK then!

You win everything, ducks. Congratulations.

Duck genitals locked in arms race [Cosmos]

image: via

Dear Mayara Tavares

You opened my eyes yesterday. And not in the way everyone, including myself, who got suckered into O-Bum-a-Gate would imply.

I don't know. I just empathize with your position. And want to apologize for being part of the knee-jerk media monolith (an eensy-weensy small part that sells Snotsicles in the back of the mailroom) reaction.

Because when the picture came out that seemingly captured our President Barack Obama taking a peek at your tush (perhaps elevating you to "ass that changed america" status), some clowns made jokes, some crazies exclaimed how this meant our president was a pedophile, some skeptics skepticized it as a plant by conservatives. Still others wondered why anyone cared either way because guys look at girls behinds all the time.

But no one really wondered about Miss Tavares. No one, so far as i saw, was like: Hello??? Everyone?? Please everybody just shut the f up and think about this young socially conscious and proactive teenager getting to go on what is likely a once in a lifetime trip of her dreams to meet the president -- the new and improved *special* president who represents the face of a new world order -- and how everything is absolutely ruined when your ass ends up circulated around the planet as, uh, the butt of headlines, and now people are slow-frame analyzing your walk, and feeling free to comment on the power rankings of your booty, and every possible reaction you could have except for the one that empathizes with the little girl who just wanted to look nice when she met the president.

so, i don't know... for what it's worth (very little), i was guilty too, but sorry about that.

(uh, and you too, #1 megan fox fan.)

Sincerely,

TAN

Emma Shulman: A Woman to Stay Young With

Had this passed on to me, a profile/interview on what I can only imagine to be the baddest mamma-jamma in New York City. She's probably gonna slap me good for such corn-ball phrasing, but for real, let us count the ways:

1. She's a consultant at the Center for Excellence on Brain Aging and Dementia. I didn't know this existed, but now aware it sounds very necessary and very brilliant. I don't care so much about me getting old, so much as my brain. And, of course, consultants are always the best kind of job to have.

2. You'd be a consultant too, with this sort of itinerary: currently pursuing a master's in cultural anthropology. private class in writing. acting class at John Jay. fordham for english lit class. and belong to the Philharmonic, the ballet, the Roundabout. -- wow. that's a lot of classes, are you in high school miss lady with the dyed gray hair?

3. ok, well with all the studying, how do you let loose?: "I smoked. Seventy-something years. I just quit three months ago. Cold turkey. I like red wine, a glass with dinner. I used to drink Scotch. I was a Scotch maniac.

I was a pretty wild kid, running around with a lot of guys."

4. oh yeah? Pretty wild with the guys? Well, you're so smart and interesting, maybe we could go out or something?: "I didn’t want to get involved again. Men who are older are looking for someone to take care of them. They don’t cook, they don’t clean. By the way, I never cooked, I never cleaned."

5. Playing hard to get are you? Well, how old are you anyways?: 96

NINETY-SIX??!?!?! Holy smokes! talk about being out of my league: more educated, more wordly, has drunk more scotch, smoked more cigs, told more significant others to hit the dishes because she doesn't do that, helped more people in ways that matter, and had more fun while she did it, and .... SHE JUST QUIT SMOKING THREE MONTHS AGO. AND SHE SAW THE GEORGE WASHINGTON BRIDGE GET BUILT. AND SHE'S LIKE, I ONLY MESS WITH YOUNG GUYS CAUSE I CAN'T BE FOLDING CLOTHES FOR THESE INFIRMED DUDES WITH ALL THESE CLASSES I'M TAKING, AND BLOGGING AND BALLET AND STUFF. WHAAAAATTTT????

Is she 26 or 96? What's the movie where lindsay lohan jumps into her mom's body? that's obviously the only explanation for what's going on here.

Seriously, I've been sussing out the MJ narrative and indulging the inspiration from "superstars", but look no further than Emma to see inspiration, life etc is all around you, what you make of it, and any other cliche she'd smack me for because life isn't about talking it's about living.

ok, off to throw pebbles at her window and see if Emma, Queen of The Olds, will have a scotch with me.

Experience Necessary: She Knows a Thing or Two About Aging [NY Times]

Previously in "Amazing People":
My New Rap Name Is Wesley Autrey

image: Sara Krulwich

Eddie, Woody, & Michael: Do We Even Care About Genius Anymore?

On Gawk (I'll have some more MJ unpacking later/soon. Still processing ...):

Eddie Murphy, Woody Allen, Michael Jackson: All indisputable geniuses in the 80s. Hit-or-miss in the 90s. And, at least before the outpouring of adulation for Jackson today, you probably wouldn't want to trade reputations with any of them.

Everyone should have a go-to quote to come off like a learned smarty-pants. Mine is from Nietzsche who said, "the only proof of strength is excess of strength". I love it because in our current link-don't-tell culture it speaks to how proof of brilliance needs to be hyperlinkably obvious. For Woody, Eddie, and Michael this was never an issue. No one ever calls into question their obvious excess of talent. But yet, reading the news and reviews from the past week or so, and it seems being a genius doesn't seem to hold the same water it used to. At the least, critics and journalists appear to be challenging the statute of limitations on genius privileges like never before:

Eddie Murphy: This post was seeded by Brooks Barnes in the NY Times (who also was involved with NYT coverage of MJ) wondering how/why Eddie Murphy still had so much Hollywood clout, despite being the butt of more jokes than he makes these days. In the sidebar they list his top 5 box office grosses, totaling up to $780 million. If you throw in Coming to America and a couple of his middling performers like, say, Boomerang and Harlem Nights, you're approaching a billion dollars in box office bank before you even get to ten movies. Murphy is the #2 man all time at the box office, right behind Tom Hanks and ahead of names like Harrison Ford and Tom Cruise. So, what's the question again? Asking Hollywood why they keep going to Eddie Murphy is like asking why the Yankees keep putting ARod in the cleanup spot (despite inconsistent production).....

Eddie, Woody, Michael: Do We Care About Genius Anymore? [Gawker]

Toronto Has Yet To Receive Their Copy of Photoshop

No, seriously. Can someone put up a Craigslist Canada listing: This is Toronto, We Are In Need of Someone, Anyone Really, With Some Photoshop Skills. Thank You.

What am I talking about?

This is the original photo for Toronto's summer "Fun Guide".


Fairly non-descript, right? Now following is their current cover, after they decided to prioritize showing "the diversity of Toronto and its residents."


Now doesn't that just make your day? You might briefly be tempted to think this is some racist "pasting a black guy in at the last second" and then you realize, that's exactly what it is... And it's hilarious! How in this day and age of the iphone etc. is the country of Canada still, literally, like scissors and Elmer's, cutting-and-pasting images for a major activity guide?? Canada can't get an intern? This is Canada's biggest city being represented here! Is Toronto's Parks, Forestry & Recreation a one-man blogger operation? Is this thing handwritten on the inside? Look at it again. It's ridiculous. What is the black guy looking at? And maybe I've been staring too long, but doesn't his smile look kinda half-hearted? Like even he's wondering how he stumbled into this random circle of euphoric strangers (but moms over there is kinda cute). This is the most obvious example of slacking/waiting until the last possible moment I've seen from a country's economic capital evar!!!!

In a way, I guess, they kind of have the catalog game on lockdown. What better way to have fun with the whole "show diversity" game than this? And the Canadian spokesman who addressed the matter was very straightforward. Here's some quotes:

"He superimposed the African-Canadian person onto the family cluster in the original photo ...

We want everyone to feel involved and welcome to participate in everything. That's the only goal. Nothing wrong with that.

The policy doesn't say PhotoShop, the policy says 'show diversity'"

Ahh, yes. Love it. Dude's like, what? We old school. Respect our melting pot. If you got complaints, take this crayon and construction paper and drop it in the straw basket outside.

But yeah, back to reality ... if you're a graphic designer, holla at canada.

Coming Soon: My Date With Megan (Fox)

So this has been one of the cute-buzzy-celeb stories of the week. A young cherubic teenage everyman consumed by passion and desire for the Angelina Jolie3000 lovely Megan Fox attempted to make his affections known with a flower. Awww. Unfortunately, the only thing now in bloom is his awakening to how this cold nihilistic world works when you're cherubic and the object of your desire is out of your league. Ms. Fox couldn't even manage to Transformer2 her face into a CGI-affected smile.



Yeah, that's right. Boo-hoo, Mr. I came-with-the-wonder-years-schtick-a-decade-or-two-late. Go start a blog and stand in line with the rest of us, kid.

But wait! Apparently Megan Jolohanbiel has feelings. On camera!



Hmm. Maybe the kid's gonna get to licky-boom-boom-down after all. I hear she's waiting for him while hiding on the back of this great big fantastically-fluffy polar bear:


(Seriously, what is that? A duvet? A cloud?) So, anyfox, media and companies have spied the potential hollywood narrative, and the chase is on. People are offering rewards to locate the would-be cupid, who is probably stewing and plotting his revenge as we speak/ogle.

Sounds like we might have a sequel to "My date with Drew" coming...

The New Portable Mini-Computers from Apple Have Arrived, and They Make Phone Calls Also

So yeah, pretty exciting. The new iPhone 3G[!!(S)!!]was unveiled earlier this week. And as I talk about the new features and *what the technology means* with my Top 5 friends & family, it continues to amuse that we regard this device as a "phone".

Per the new feature list: your "phone" can now take pictures, with variable focus, and video. You can also edit video. So to my understanding you can now go out with your phone, shoot a movie, edit it, and mail it in to Sundance or Tribeca Film Festival, then listen to music while you wait for the powers that be to call you back and tell you "you're in!". Then you can take a break and play a video game, before checking your blood pressure (about to be a star! in the public eye! feel stressed!), and even start making the music for the soundtrack to the new film because, of course, there's apps for that etc. etc., all on the same device.

I mean honestly, at this point the *phone feature* is becoming a nuisance. I might ask apple to deactivate if/when i get a new one. Something I'm undecided on, by the by. Will prob wait to see the first round or two of reports and feedback.

Also, worth highlighting: the old iphone, 3G, is now $99. When it first came out, two years ago, June 2007, it was $600. Wow. (I did a man-on-the-street for the first release on gawker. ahh, history.) But if they're not already, by next year they will be ubiquitous. Coming Soon: African babies, still starving, looking in the App store for food.

iPhone 3Gs Feature Guide [Gizmodo]
New iPhone [Apple]
First Responders: Are You Buying an iPhone? (2007) [Gawker]

JerusalemPass: Well If They Feel This Way About Obama...

I guess my oft-pondered, long-sought trip to Israel is on delay. The following video is offensive and NSFW. Here's the rest of the setup commentary from the source:

On the eve of President Barack Obama’s address to the Muslim world from Cairo, Egypt, I stepped out onto the streets of Jerusalem with my friend Joseph Dana to interview young Israelis and American Jews about their reaction to the speech. We encountered rowdy groups of beer sodden twenty-somethings, many from the United States, and all eager to vent their visceral, even violent hatred of Barack Obama and his policies towards Israel.



There's more commentary here, basically a questioning of why journalists are not following this story, and a note on how the sentiments and behavior seen in the video above are very much representative of American Jews in Israel.

Like Cajun's reaction, I'm just sort of shocked that these are educated folk. And the parallels to drunken fratboy delirium are striking. Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men (and women), indeed.

In Case You Missed It: Obama, Orator Extraordinaire

Barack speaks to "A New Beginning" in delivering a speech that might be underrated for its ambition and direct approach to such internationally divisive issues: the American-Islamic culture gap, terrorism, the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, and more. The speech given at Cairo University in Egypt clocks in at the 55-minute mark in the clip below, so he gets to touch on just about every problem in the world. About time we got a master "To Do" list.

Celebrating National Fist Bump Day!

TAN celebrates National Fist Bump Day on Slate: Black The Root today. Here's a teasing snippet:

... This mainstream outreach may seem warm and fuzzy now, but at the time, some writers wondered if white folks had even noticed the gesture. And oh, they did. (To the point of not even paying attention to the perhaps more dubious booty-love tap that followed right after.) For a fascinating few weeks, the fist bump, a functional, hyper-hygienic descendant of the handshake and high five, was the topic du jour around America's water coolers. First came the blogs and tabloids, both here and across the pond. Then came the satirical cover of The New Yorker depicting the first couple as a Muslim Constitution-burner and an Angela Davis wannabe. This controversial image inspired parodies of the parody. And of course, the conservative response to Hurricane Obama made the whole thing feel like a game of “telephone” gone wrong: Fox News host E.D. Hill asked on-air, with fevered eyes: “A fist bump? A pound? A terrorist fist jab?”

So why take us back there? If anything, the fist-jab furor represented a profound moment in interracial misunderstanding. For blacks, the salutation was nothing new. We wondered, were white folks really so ignorant, our worlds so segregated, that they couldn’t tell what a good old-fashioned dap looked like? ....

The Bump Heard 'Round The World [The Root]

If Someone Says 'Chk, Chk, Boom' To You, In An Aussie Accent, Here's What You Need to Know

America's next top racist update: She's no longer a real witness (but still makes real racisistically-challenged remarks).

(thanks: Sean)

Previously:
America's Next Top Racist: Clare Werbeloff

Who Will Be America's Next Top Racist?: Clare Werbeloff

Ever since Obama slid his woggy ass into the presidential throne, the racists have been fairly quiet. We had a little bit of hubbub with Larry King race-farting in public, and the dude making drunken obama cookies, but nothing real juicy and watermelon-y that we can sink our teeth into.

So I think it might be time to import! And also start a new reality show! And I think Clare Werbeloff makes a fine first housemate for the Real World of Racism.

Who's Clare Werbeloff? Well I didn't know who she was either until a little while ago when I saw (via The Awl, Videogum) her little saucy-aussie racist video presentation. I guess "wog" is like the n-word in Australia. And so in the video she's basically like "this fat ni**a and this skinny ni**a were fighting ..." and blah blah blah I'm also a hot chick and can say anything i want because hotness trumps racism.



And it's true: hotness trumps racism! Just ask any negro who's had a sexy girl ask if she could run her fingers through his wooliness. The answer is invariably: Yes, please do (so long as I can run my peen through your fields of cashmere etc.).

So that's why this reality show idea would be so awesome. I mean, there's a significant percentage of reality shows premised on getting someone who's gonna be "The Ignorant Racist" character anyways. Let's get a whole house of them! If they're hot, America would totally tune in.

The importing of racists works here also because it's more of a sideshow when you don't know the racist colloquialisms from other countries. For example, one of these words is a terribly demeaning epithet: fog, bog, wog, dog, smog -- who cares, right?

Lindsay informs that Clare is now an R-list internet celebrity (I've added the "r-list" part, Clare and Michael Richards are helping initiate this new class of celebritydom) and has a whole PR team and facebook fan group etc. American reality show television can't be too far behind!

The Assimilator: or How to Philosophize with a Hammer, and the Hammer is Gawker

So Gawker is known for their gossip and *snarky* (sigh) take on current events. The writers -- certainly the ones I've known or met -- are all smart and generally sympathetic/aware of celebrities being human, or the deeper issues at play when a magazine is shuttered; but as per their job, usually need to cut to the witty, pithy chase at the expense of indulging, say, the modern window into the human condition The Hipster Grifter provides.

All to say, Gawker is not what anyone instinctively thinks of as a home for "panel discussions" on culturally resonant news/themes/stories. But we're trying to do just that on the weekend, via The Assimilator, and so far so good. We're still working on facilitating the "discussion" element, as it's tough to get professional opinion/taste-makers to stand where you want in line sans $ or significant lead-time. But we've got cool people, and opinions, and a space to share and exchange these things. So that, as the kids say, is something.

Nietzsche's Twilight of the Idols, is the guiding spirit here. Specifically: The Revaluation of all Values. Seems most writers, artists of sound mind and clear conscience are motivated by this impulse to reassess the world around them; "The Assimilator" is another on-ramp to merge -- mind meld? -- with the rest of those in the struggle.

We've finally got enough in the can to start the archived list, so that's what this is, in no particular order:

On the Recession Possibly Being Over?: Melissa Lafsky (Discover), Jozen Cummings (Vibe), Abiola Abrams (Planet Abiola)

On Double X Launch and Feminism: Pt. 1 - Amanda Marcotte (Pandagon), Jill Filipovic (Feministe), Pt. 2 - Jess McCabe (The F-Word), Matt Ufford (Warming Glow)

On White-Rapper Asher Roth: Byron Crawford (XXL), Touré (Rolling Stone), Tom Breihan (Pitchfork)

On University Reform: Pt. 1 - Dan Kois (New York), Kate Perkins (N+1), Pt. 2 - Macy Halford (The New Yorker), Jeff Chang (The Nation)

On Dan Baum vs. The New Yorker: Emily Gordon (emdashes), Troy Patterson (Slate), Eric Easter (EbonyJet)

On the Hipster Grifter: Doree Shafrir (Observer), Gavin McInnes (Street Carnage), Big Time Book Editor (Big Time Book Publisher)

On a Prospective Hipster Reality Show: Becky Sharper (Pursuit of Harpyness), Rachel Shukert (The Nosemaker's Apprentice), Robert Lanham (Hipster Handbook)

On Eminem's "We Made You": me (School of Hard Knocks, etc.)

The Assimilator [Gawker]

cartoon: via