My seersucker shorts died this week at the age of, oh, I don't know, 3 years or so from a fatal ink stain in the left-hand pocket, and further complications from the subsequent botched cleaning of "the stupid, stupid ink stain."
My seersucker shorts were manufactured by esteemed proliferator of many things seersucker, Ralph Lauren. They were purchased, online, sometime in the summer of 2004 and fast became a TAN wardrobe staple prized for their multi-functional brand-insinuating brand of ghetto-preppy urban-panache. Like a cashmere hoodie, they represented the best in both style and function.
Long a staple of historical southern fashion, seersucker is often associated with terms like old-white, white-stodgy, formal(white), and preppy. But at the turn of the century, as TANs expanded their haute horizons, the shorts proved to be an accessible point of entry for showing off your high-minded-yet-gritty sensibility. Tell a girl you only wear seersucker and Timz and she would have to come back to your place to see for herself.
"Those seersucker shorts got me a lot of ass i wouldn't have gotten if i was wearing baggy jeans, " thought TAN while writing the obit on his blog.
Now seersucker shorts (as well as the blazer) when worn by men-of-melanin are a symbol of reverse zeitgeist-engineering and cultural dynamism. Which is to say: they express the nuanced complexity of assimilation without all the big words. Simply stripes.
My blue and white seersucker polo shorts are survived by my navy blue cargo polo shorts, my sky-blue khaki polo shorts, and my blue polo jeans. Despite being a frequent go-to in the clothing rotation they might not be replaced because too many other TANs are wearing seersucker.