Tables designed by Ralph ...
Pricing inspired by Retarded ...
the status is yours to keep....
we present the so-ridiculously-priced-you-have-to-blog-about-it table collection, by that most trusted name in aspirational American assimilation....
Our first item, we have a slab of brown wood over this-better-not-be-aluminum-we-payed-too-much-for-it-dahling. Lamp, reading material not included. Price: $17,000
Next up, for our young starter-home bargain-shoppers, we have your grandmother's dining room table. Just as you remember it, fresh and gleaming after a recent Pledge™ job. Price: $14,085
Finally, we have glass -- that's right, glass! -- over those hopefully-not-so-aluminum sawhorse legs you saw earlier. Redundancy is an underrated feature in a collection like this. Price: $16,395
I wouldn't mind having that third table in my house. It's beautiful. If you're a writer working from home can you write it off for taxes?
ReplyDeleteI wonder if there's a recording of Ralph laughing maniacally bwooohahahaha when you click "Place your order". That'd be worth it.
ReplyDeletehow much you think they'd cost if we weren't in a recession?
ReplyDeletehmmm that first table looks quite familiar!! (wink)
ReplyDelete