Dear TAN: The Color-Wheel of Feminine Attraction

I once started a neverending interview, but now we're switching to a "Dear TAN" feature. Send your questions/letters to theassimilatednegro [at] gmail [dot] com.

In this edition: Interracial: Girls, Girls, Girls!

First, I love your blog. And I even have you added as a friend on Facebook [ed: Yes!] (I kinda stalk other writers and bloggers, but whatever [ed: d'oh!!]). But the purpose of this message isn't to tell you that. The purpose, rather, is to pose a question in hopes of getting some enlightened, assimilated insight.

You seem to have a rapport with folks across the races, so I figured you'd be a good person to ask. So here goes -- when we look at stereotypical interracial relationships, black guys like white girls, Asian guys dig them too, and Asian girls pretty much have their pick across the spectrum. (There's some statistic that says Asian women have the highest percentage of interracial marriage, right?) [ed: research!]. So my question is this... who likes black chicks? And not mediocre black chicks, but hot, smart, funny and not-at-all-bitter black chicks. (Seriously, that Terry McMillan ish is SO last decade.)

Ooh! And while I'm at it... do you think it's possible for a light-skinned black chick to be "not quite black enough" for those dipping into the interracial dating pool? I ask because, as a light-skinned black chick, I've seen that my chocolate sisters get muuuuuuuuch more play from white guys. Me? Not so much. Part of me thinks it's 'cause I don't have enough cocoa for them. I'm just beige. And if you're gonna go black, you wanna go "authentically" black, right?

I dunno. Maybe I just sound crazy. But hopefully you can offer some guidance.

Thanks!

-- Beige Black Chick

~~

Dear BBC,

First off, these are the types of letters I have a blog for. Love it.

soooo....

if we're talking purebreds (as much as you can be these days) , hot white girls remain a trump card and get their pick (all things being equal, which they never are).

i'm not quite 100% sure on Asians, or really any ethnic minority, getting their pick. and I def wouldn't give an asian an advantage over a light-skin black girl. or [even] a latina-mami.

in general i think the tweeners/light-skin blends are the top of the totem pole these days. everyone wants a little spice in them, just not too much. Unless it's yours.

i think the country works off the same white-american beauty standard. so you got lightish-skin, slim/fit build, symmetry etc. (only in America, people.) i suspect since asians are not associated with dark, or by and large, chubby, they may seem to get an advantage. ... i do think black women get the shortest end of the stick, which i guess was part of the premise in the Mediocre Black Chick post....

as to the fetishizing of the dark sisters, I think there's still more of a conditioned fear than embracing, even in that alt-culture way. your case studies counter that, but i'm not convinced ... i'd have to see it in action. i think light-skin black girls are right with caucasian ladies, and if you've got that beyonce/claire huxtable complexion, it's a wrap...

anyways, we can't solve this in a letter, but I do looove this subject. makes me think something like the Melanin Matrix might be in order. some sort of visual spectrum. maybe a color wheel ranging from light to dark with all the accompanying varying shades? .... is that out there?

Thanks for the note,

-TAN