Monday, April 10, 2006

Coming Soon: Fat-Seeking Lasers

A laser you can point-and-shoot at the fat on your body, or on the body of the chubby-ass lying on top of/below you is now on the horizon.
A laser which melts fat is being developed by scientists.
Experts from the Massachusetts General Hospital in the US said it could be used to treat heart disease, cellulite, and acne.
The laser is able for the first time to heat up fat in the body without harming the overlying skin.
Using the Free-Electron Laser at selected wavelengths, scientists were able to heat the fat up, which was then broken down and excreted by the body
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more ...
My guess is you're probably gonna want to get this on pre-order, I hear things related to weight-loss fly off the shelves like hot cakes in this country. Of course, once you get that pre-order in you're free to go heckle and laugh at everyone running, working out, or otherwise living a healthy lifestyle.

Suckers.

This also makes me think soon we'll all be walking around with mini hand-lasers that we handle ourselves, contantly "shaping up" our body. For a hot date, instead of just getting a nice new outfit, you'll also carve the abs up a little, dissolve the double-chin, and slice some definition into the arms and ... VOILA! Who says craigslist is for losers now baby??

The Countdown To "Fatageddon" Begins [BBC News]

6 comments:

  1. Yes indeed. Sign me up for one o' them lasers. For now I'll be busy prioritizing target areas on my body. Oh, where to begin!

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  2. yes, me too, i'll take a couple. not for me, for them ;)

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  3. Because, of course, something like this couldn't POSSIBLY cause cancer! (That being said, I want one.)

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  4. I would like to be the first to post an open advertismement to anyone who was harmed in the use of these products. We are filing a class action lawsuit and OYU may be entitled to a settlement..

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  5. Do you poo or pee out the fat? Not that one method is any more pleasant sounding than the other...

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  6. it would be cool to have one of those things around...you know, just in case ;)

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