Thursday, June 01, 2006

Cracka CrackDown! - "Too Many Crackas Rapping" Edition

Ok. Most everyone was down with the SNL "Lazy Sunday" Chronicles of Narnia song/video. You might not have agreed with Slate's Josh Levin that it could save hip hop, but it was certainly funny and entertaining.

Then the Natalie Portman joint dropped. And of course Natalie's so hot-cute that it'd be impossible to hate on her. Plus she was pretty funny. But the laugh wasn't as full-bellied as before. Those who listened close heard the faint whisper (gasp?) of concern underneath the bemused chortling. Was it a free-for-all on rappin' crackas ?? Natalie represented a dangerous line, and the risk was obvious.

Sure enough ... The Tipping Point - starring Jodie Foster.




Ahhh, the bittersweet taste of assimilation. No one ever said it was going to be all interracial mating, Eminem (in his prime), and seersucker shorts. But regardless, I'm thinking that's just about a wrap on the middle-aged women rapping at graduation ceremonies. Please surrender your microphone to the nearest person of color. Thanks for playing.

(yes, I discovered this later than others)
Jodie Covers Em [stereogum]
Calves Yes, Rapping No [No Parachute]
Lamest Speech Award [The Superficial]
~
Cracka CrackDown! - Enron Edition [TAN]

18 comments:

  1. Stop hating on Jo-deezy.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jesus. I feel like I should probably start rapping now, too. I gots WAY more flava than Jodie! (Admittedly, this isn't saying much.)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous6/01/2006

    OMG!!!

    i hadn't seen that. definitely a tipping point. please tell her to stop ...

    ReplyDelete
  4. I wonder what she thinks about this in hindsight. I heard the crowd gave her a rousing hand (you'd still be happy to have jodie foster speaking, presuming she said more than the eminem snippet).

    I'm a jodie foster fan, when she's acting. maybe she needed to research more.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous6/01/2006

    TAN keep on Cracking on. The CrackDown should be a weekly post.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I second the motion on a regular cracka crackdown feature

    ReplyDelete
  7. that was painful and excruciating.

    this cracka thing should def be a weekly feature.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous6/01/2006

    Damn, that was the hottest shit I've heard since Bulworth.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous6/01/2006

    Had Jodie Foster hinted that she was going to quote horrible rap songs that play to clueless white fans, I would have been in favor of releasing John Hinckley for a day and giving him a ticket to the ceremony.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Jodie foster was halarious!!

    It wasn't haha funny, but like 'u stupid, stupid bitch' funny... Funny none the less!
    x

    ReplyDelete
  11. Sign.

    Her.

    Up.

    Maybe she can replace Proof as Em's hype(wo)man.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh no, I'm not playing that window. It's a trick--the next frame is goatse!! Or something just as bad. Not I, said the chick.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'm down with eminem myself, but mostly white people just can't pull off rap. I don't know why. I don't know if it's a genetic thing, a social thing, or what, but unless you're Marshall Mathers and you are white -

    Step away from the microphone! Do. Not. Attempt. To. Rap.

    What an easy way to make an ass of yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I'm glad your so damn simple minded and easily amused, only from a pack of shadows (niggers)...

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous11/22/2006

    fuck eminem, wadabout vinni paz or skinnyman?

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anonymous12/17/2006

    White people shouldn't rap? Who's racist?

    ReplyDelete
  17. Panic Room 2, Jodie Goes To Compton

    ReplyDelete
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