Friday, March 13, 2009

Organic Underwear: Is Ralph Lauren Charging Extra To Make Your Drawers Smell Like Shit?

Seriously, did this n Ralph just introduce the organic cotton underwear "collection"? See what a little money and a marketing team can do for you? Shoot, I got laundry to do, but I wouldn't call what's in my bag a "collection". It's definitely organic though. That's some nice semantic espionage to try and pull next time you show up at work a little ripe:

"boy TAN, you couldn't shower for work today?"

"nah, I showered. I'm just saving the world via my eco-friendly/stank-ass socks. What did you do to help save the planet today?"

"i didn't order anything delivered from"

Ralph, darling, we gotta talk on this one. You know when I choose to waste money on superficial pretentious branding on my clothes, I choose you. You're my baby. You my Hilni**a. But what's next, pre-prepped pit-stains on my tee-shirts? I'm not stupid, Ralph. I went to boarding school, and that's why I'm totally stoked to be all hopped up and strung out on your horses in the first place, dude. Seriously. Love them. Love what they do for me in the "real world". And normally I wouldn't even take offense at the idea that this accessibly attractive guy with some quasi-existential gaze in his khaki-camo army-navy underwear is supposed to persuade me to impulse-buy dirty drawers from you.... it's all in the game, right?

But it's just in this economy, you gotta know people would definitely prefer to save a little money and organic-up their own briefs. At least for this quarter. So, you know, just chill and slow your pimp-roll. You don't want alpha-Jon to take notice and invite you on The Daily Show for an interview or something.


  1. Totally saw this guy when I looked up douchebag the other day.

  2. Anonymous3/13/2009

    um, i think they mean the material is organic not that it comes pre-packaged with organic matter.
    isn't cotton already organic?
    and i hate the total fake enviro thing -these things probably come wrapped in three layers of plastic. encased in a non-recycled box with the drawers made in taiwan, the plastic in honduras and the box in africa and tons of fuel is burned getting all those parts in one place, put together and then more fuel to bring to the US where trucks will drive it around the country. then they'll have stupid ads made up and a lot of paper will be wasted.
    and, and the fact that this d-bag gets to turn MY OXYGEN into CARBON DIOXIDE is unconscionable

  3. another ploy to charge people more money for underwear...

    and people wonder why i choose to go commando.


Related Posts with Thumbnails