Thursday, July 16, 2009

If It Looks Like a Duck, And Quacks Like a Duck, Then Maybe It Has a Spiraling Maze-Like Vagina

Sometimes you come across things on the internet and you're like, how did this not result in an intergalactic media extravaganza, the likes of which a leaked Michael Jackson-Sarah Palin sex tape could only hope to muster, ... or at least land a Time magazine cover story or something:

Female ducks have evolved "maze-like" genitals with many twists, pouches and dead ends, in a bid to prevent rape and retain control of who fathers their offspring – while male ducks have evolved equally convoluted penises to keep up.

OK then!

You win everything, ducks. Congratulations.

Duck genitals locked in arms race [Cosmos]

image: via


  1. Anonymous7/16/2009

    Yeah, I heard about this. I think it's kind of disturbing, like -- instead of evolving the external fighting skills to get the rapists off their backs, the lady ducks have changed, themselves, *inside* and become convoluted on the inside to defend themselves. A kind of girl-duck adaptation (_assimilation_?) to male-duck sexual violence. An adaptation that in some way reclaims the power but at the same time resigns itself to the fact that the boy ducks are never going to change...

  2. Anonymous7/16/2009


  3. OMG, the picture of their genitalia in the article looks like... I don't know. But not like genitals. No genitals I've ever seen.

  4. Anonymous7/16/2009

    Ducks are not fucking around with their evolutionary technology. Aflac should get in on this action.

  5. Anonymous7/19/2009

    i think pigs have the same kind of spiraling penis vagina thing -- i think thats why they call it screwing.

  6. Ducks are big rapists from what I hear. This would seem like a good defense. I once witnessed the rape of a female duck right in front of her boyfriend duck! Perhaps I'm anthropomorphizing too much, but the emotion display of the aftermath was heart-wrenching. He blamed her--never wanted to see her again. Anyway, there is a research paper by some German (or dutch) guy floating on the interwebs that is the first documentation of post-mortem, homosexual rape by ducks. Both had been documented separately before. But reading abut the dead, gay duck raping is a trip.


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