Thursday, December 28, 2006

Ghetto Pass: New Year's Resolutions

This week's Ghetto Pass is a New Year's edition I think my favorite excerpt is:
Resolution: Finding Love
Ghetto Pass Helper: Ghetto Pickup Artists
Real Talk: I harken back to the words of somewhat ghetto songstress Tina Turner in saying, what's love got to do with it? A partner is only as good as the shots of self-esteem they serve you when you're a little down because you haven't started drinking yet. Don't let these online matchmakers sell you up the river on a false dream; there's absolutely no need to subscribe to a Dating Cash Cow when you can go to your hood and get that love-milk for free. When those Ghetto Pickup Artistes, those citified cupids, those troubadours of urban romance start filling the skies with songs of booty-ballyhoo for your beautiful boobs, luscious lips, and jaw-dropping badonkadonk; well, that's when you'll know "Love" ain't nothing but a four-letter word. GPA's are true romantics, they should write Hallmark-Holla™ cards.
Or maybe Hollamark Cards? Don't know if that translates as well.

Ghetto Pass
[Gawker]

3 comments:

  1. Aaah, this brought back good memories. I sorta love the GPA's.

    I had no idea I was like a presentable female (grew up in white suburbia that let's just say didn't appreciate my aesthetic and ergo rendered me invisible) until I moved to NYC and learned I actually existed as a female in a good way to like a whole segment of the population. I knew I was supposed to be offended, but let's face it: it WAS a cheerful thing to hear every once in a while (even tho all I ever gave back was the FUstle + Uncomprehending Glance-Over).

    Now back in white suburbia and this made me miss GPA's a bit.

    I like Hallmark-Holla. Hollamark is more efficient but less fun to say.

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  2. As you know already, this series is AWESOME.

    maybe TAN readers can get little previews instead of post-excerpts?

    happy new year!

    ReplyDelete
  3. ill - see, there you go. And agreed on the hallmark holla cards.

    choatey - yeah, too bad I'm basically writing them before they go up, soooo we'll have to make do.

    ReplyDelete

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