we now present Grandpa TAN starring in a dramatic rendition of "I Have A Headache."
TAN: my head hurts. i don't know if i can play cards with you. you have any aspirin?
Grandpa TAN (GPT): huh?
TAN: my head hurts, do you have any aspirin? tylenol?
GPT: your head hurts?
TAN: yes, you have any aspirin??
GPT: you want aspirin?
TAN: yeah, do you have some?
GPT: no .... but go get that bottle over there.
TAN: what bottle?
GPT: that one over there, with the dropper
TAN: what??? oh, i don't need anything grandpa
GPT: go get that thing boy, you said your head hurt, right?
TAN: yeah ?
GPT: go get the dropper ?
GPT: no.... on the thing there
TAN opens bottle and smells it, crinkles nose and feels resolute that he won't be taking anything with a dropper on the top of it
GPT: come here
TAN: what is that?
GPT: boy, do your head hurt or what?
TAN: i don't think i want any liquid ... anything.. out of a dropper, i don't think that's going to help. i just wanted an apsirin or tylenol or something
GPT: look [smells bottle], you just have to put a drop on your tongue like this? [does it]
TAN: [cringes, but ... ] a drop?
GPT: yeah, look ....
TAN: and that's gonna fix my headache??
GPT grabs TAN's hands pours a generous amount of the clear liquid over his hands. TAN screams, startled by the aggressive gfather attack.
GPT: [tone: pensive from the realization of how ungrandfatherly it is to sneak-medicate your grand-son]: you should rub it in there
TAN: i thought it was a drop on my tongue, what is this? my hands burn...
GPT: its alcohol. jsut spiced rum .... you breathe it in
GPT: like this...
TAN: ok ...
TAN: Hmmm, I guess my head does feel a little bit better.
[I'm sorry i made you have to sneak-medicate me? ...]