Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Pitch Meeting: Obama

TAN: Ok, that Obama speech was huge last night. Historical moment. We need angles, people. The machine is hungry. Funny, deep, crazy, contrarian... what do you got?

TAN2: Well it's a big moment for black people. First black candidate. And the speech was good, almost feels like he has the game locked up.

TAN: true. but everyone's talking about that... what else?

TAN3: We could talk about his speeches. I mean, that's what's so special about him right now. His performance during these speeches.

TAN: Speeches, yeah. Tell me more...

TAN3: Well, I don't know, maybe the President of the United States just needs to give good speeches. The rest is dramatization. With all the money invested in the political machine, once you're in the driver's seat there's only so much you can do. A president is more symbol than true facilitator of change. No matter who's in position.

TAN: Well, we've done this a little bit already, but ...

TAN3: I was sort of motivated to get work done after the speech last night. Do my part to contribute to America, and put my best self forward. That's what good speeches do. The president is the country's motivational speaker. Or should be. And with Obama, he's does it so well. Public speaking as art? He brings back the lost art of grand speeches...

TAN: You have some bits and pieces there, work with that and bring me a couple pages. What else?... don't everyone chime in at once... TAN-slacker, you have any thoughts? I haven't gotten something from you in months. What's up?

TAN-slacker: Sorry, just been crazy recently. I'm working on a good one. But I don't know, I'm not into Obama or politics. It's boring.

TAN: Whatever. Friggin' stoner. Why don't you talk to your stoner friends and find out if Obama is hitting with them? Does the hippie message actually resonate with hippies? Get me some funny stoner-y interviews ... next?

TAN2: Well after the speech, his whole victory lap around the stadium. That was the reaction Bill Clinton used to get, but with an exponent. The guy's a rock star.

TAN: He is a rock star. So?

TAN2: So I don't know, rock stars get privileges, and have certain expectations ....

TAN: eh, move on.

TAN2: I could compare him to other rock/hiphop/celebrity stars and see who gets the most status/cachet for their buck. American Idol, American President or American ... I don't know, Asshole.

TAN: eh....

TAN4: I'm not gay, but I kind of want to have sex with him.

TAN: Yes! Me too! Why?

TAN4: For a president, at least to be voted in, it's all about sex appeal. Bush got in cause, in his way, he was sexy. When voting it boils down to: Do you want to sleep with him? Maybe tough for some of the guys to see, but surely they can see that he's literally like porn for women right now. It's like if you click on "Ebony porn" for youngish proessional American women right now, you're gonna get Obama doing something naughty. He turns them on...

TAN: Ummm ... let's hold on Obama Porn for now.

TAN3: I'm still on speeches... it might be funny if his speechwriter went on strike. His writers are really the ones paying the bills right now. And what if it turned out he was notably inarticulate without his speechwriter[s]. Like Milli Vanilli for politics.

TAN: mmmm ....might be funny, suss that out some more. Explore angles with his speechwriter, that person is hot right now. Can we get more hard info, a resume, a facebook page, anything?

TAN3: Maybe his speechwriter gets so cocky, he breaks camp with Obama and runs for president himself? All you need is the nice speeches, right? Oh! Or maybe he signs with Def Jam and prepares to drop a rap album?

TAN: hmmm, i'm not laughing. But i want to laugh. it does ties in with the other rock star stuff also. don't go crazy but play with it a little.

TAN4: Obama Speech Excites Country, Reignites Sexual Revolution?

TAN: ha're f'ing horny TAN4, make sure you have some sex this weekend .... what else we got?

TAN6: A lifestyle check might be in order: are young black men benefiting from Obamamania? Maybe the clean-cut negroes in the office collecting a few more flirty looks in the office? Yes We Can, baby. Yes. We. Can. Also time for young black professionals to push for that raise? We're all under the spell...

TAN: ha. yes! and don't think about it. go hit the streets and, um, mailrooms, and see what's happening. Grab TAN-Cam and get us some video..... what else??? keep it coming people, the people need content!

TAN5: Well there's that hillary/Obama sex tape rumor.

TAN: Any confirm on whether it's real or not yet?

TAN5: I have the tape, can't quite tell if it's really them. But the tape is hot.

TAN: Get me a copy ... I want to check it out. what else ...??????


  1. Mrs. Right6/04/2008

    Oh, you totally crack me up... Loved this post.

  2. There's also the other side of the coin for the young black professional... the YBP blacklash...

    "You want what? A promotion? Barack got one, so now you want one too? Oh no you don't, you sassy lil' negro..."

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