Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Never Naked, Always Nude

Some of you may have seen this, but apparently Scarlett Johannson and Keira Knightley are not "naked" on this cover. They are nude. And if you want to get them naked, errr nude, on your mattress or magazine cover then that word choice makes all the difference in the world.

Jonathan Jones explains in a piece for The Guardian.
It was the art historian Kenneth Clark who claimed there is a difference. A naked human body is exposed, vulnerable, embarrassing, he wrote in his 1956 book The Nude. "The word 'nude', on the other hand, carries, in educated usage, no uncomfortable overtone. The vague image it projects into the mind is not of a huddled and defenceless body, but of a balanced, prosperous and confident body ..."
I don't know if this will help any lucky guys/gentleman get any girls/ladies naked/nude on to their bed/mattress of mystery, but if it can help/get you laid, then more power/condoms to you.

I think it also helps if you're an artist/bullshitter.



  1. AN:

    "Nude" is to "naked" as "making love" is to "fu**ing." Just so you know. P.S. Blogroll me at http://yeoldeblogshoppe.eponym.com/blog

  2. Anonymous4/25/2006

    it's all about "Tastefully done"

    like your blog TAN ;)

  3. Anonymous4/25/2006

    naked or nude I likey

  4. I'm naked only at the doctor's office. Here at home, it's nude all the way. I mean, at such times that I'm undressed. I'm either dressed or nude, never naked. I'll shut up now.

  5. Anonymous4/26/2006

    Naw. They're nekkid.

    Nude, unclad, birthday-suited, unclad, disrobed, au naturel, desnudo, just-as-the-good-Lord-made-them...

    I don't care.

    They're nekkid.

  6. The first date I ever went on with my husband was an exhibit of nude paintings. I had no idea that was what he had planned. We got engaged 4 months later. Maybe the naked paintings moved things forward at an alarming pace.

  7. Naked or Nude I think undressed bodies are hot. :)

  8. In art school we had to paint naked people, only they gussied, or if you like bullshitted, it up with the idea of "life drawing". Ha ha. The thing that caught my eye about that cover was the position of Johansen, she managed to be as languid and oddly positioned as a model in one of Ingres paintings.

    Did you know that when some historian x-rayed Klimt's paintings of wealthy high fashionly clad women, he had carefully painted all their special details, they were what we might call pornographically posed and naked under those expensive designer clothes.

    Well, lets face it, all us artists are sex maniacs and we'll bullshit our way around to assimilate.


  9. Anonymous4/26/2006

    "Naked," "nude," "unclothed," "ass out;" call it what you will. It should be noted, however, that I would eat a mile of shit if it ended up at Scarjo's ass.

  10. Ahh - shit like this ALWAYS reminds me of my AP English class in HS and how I have to approach this subject in teaching art to HS kids...

    The Naked and the Nude
    a poem by Robert Graves

    For me, the naked and the nude
    (By lexicographers construed
    As synonyms that should express
    The same deficiency of dress
    Or shelter) stand as wide apart
    As love from lies, or truth from art.

    Lovers without reproach will gaze
    On bodies naked and ablaze;
    The Hippocratic eye will see
    In nakedness, anatomy;
    And naked shines the Goddess when
    She mounts her lion among men.

    The nude are bold, the nude are sly
    To hold each treasonable eye.
    While draping by a showman's trick
    Their dishabille in rhetoric,
    They grin a mock-religious grin
    Of scorn at those of naked skin.

    The naked, therefore, who compete
    Against the nude may know defeat;
    Yet when they both together tread
    The briary pastures of the dead,
    By Gorgons with long whips pursued,
    How naked go the sometimes nude!

  11. Anonymous4/27/2006

    All I know is, I'm waiting for the second cover with two nude man and the fully dressed female photographer. I vote for Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. Nude.

  12. Keanu Reeves and Owen Wilson are my requests.

  13. Morris Chestnut and Jonathan Rhys Davies, please. And I will volunteer to portray the photographer.

  14. Anonymous7/29/2006

    Once they pass a "nude negro law" there wont be such a big deal about all this anyway. Black females will be totally nude when out and about in public. And that will be that.


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