Tuesday, December 16, 2008

And The Book Will Be Tentatively Titled NEGROPEDIA Until "Operation: Raise Everyone's 'Negro' Tolerance Level" Is Accomplished, Or Deemed Impossible

Some day in the future, there will be a black boy, maybe of twelve or thirteen years of age. He will be precocious and smart (but not in that genius sort of way) and afforded some small cents of humor. And he will find himself plucked out of an urban ghetto, not unlike the South Bronx in NYC, and go to some boarding school not unlike a Choate Rosemary Hall, or a Pomfret School.

And he will meet his roommate, a cherubic caucasian-american, and the two will pose for a picture in front of posters of heretofore unseen or unheard of groups like Led Zeppelin (they're ok, but they're no Three Times Dope the young black boy might think.). And whimsically, as often his is wont, the brown boy will open up a book, because, at that time, in his youth, he so loved to read. And the picture will prob look something like this

(but with all the added technolification that comes from being in the future. )

and the boy will be intoxicated by the book and after reading it he will smile knowingly, mischievously. because now he knows things he didn't know before. things like:

who the 4 horsemen of the post-racial apocalypse are... (link, coming soon)

or the 5 black people you meet in harlem...

or the 9 stages of gentrification hell (as extrapolated and updated from this episode of GP)

he will know how to have sex with a racist, and the various exits on the intra-race state highway.

he will have chuckled at the letter from a black man to his average-size penis, and the letter from a black woman to her relatively-flat ass.

he will have fantasized about the 5 interracial cinematic hookups that should have happened (that one's coming soon too)

and so much more....

But most of all he will know that he too can write a most excellent, humorous, entertaining book because the book he just read, NEGROPEDIA, was written by Patrice Evans, TAN, The Assimilated Negro. And if that dude can write a book, so can anyone.

NegroAgent #3A44-southbronx-24c3000 reporting for duty!


  1. Congrats on your book deal! Sweet. Did you write this puppy already, or do you still have to do that? When will it pub? How will I obtain an autographed copy?

  2. Anonymous12/18/2008



    This is good news!

  3. Anonymous12/18/2008

    good lord, prep schools board students in wood-paneled rooms? how horrifying. that might be worse than the bulletproof trailer i had for homeroom and science labs.

  4. Your roommate's adorable. What's he up to these days?


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