Preppy Soul: An Assimilation in Pictures
(some folks are milling about wondering: who is that Patrice Evans dude down with Grantland? well, this old Assimilation-in-Pictures post provides some clues. more to come!)
Ahh, so bright-eyed and soapy-mohawked; even liquid-soap packaging was simpler then.
Hair now dry, but still delighted with the world. A soft furry bear on your naked lap will do that. 
One of these kids is smiling like a "gifted negro" with hardware to prove it, the other one's clip-on tie is black.
I look confused, perhaps because this would mark my last appearance in a public school.
Look who's leaning on the white man now; wasn't no pics like this in the BX. (Room #007, ladies.)
Ahhh, this picture just about sums up all there is to say about prep school.
Ya gotta have a crew of rudeboys, even in boarding school.
Graduation from Assimilation Academy. Hello, White America! Lt. TAN reporting for duty!
The college goatee announces itself; TAN manages to still keep tabs on my beautiful black women
OH NO!!! The pen in the hat is always a sure sign of trouble brewing....
No seriously. I'm a walking PSA ...
We can rebuild him!
Guess who's back. Still assimilated, but now w/ microphones and middle fingers.
And an edgy screw-face, and new TAN teammates ...
And now I pretty much look like this all the time. I am assimilated negro! Hear me roar!
Ahh, so bright-eyed and soapy-mohawked; even liquid-soap packaging was simpler then.
Hair now dry, but still delighted with the world. A soft furry bear on your naked lap will do that. 
One of these kids is smiling like a "gifted negro" with hardware to prove it, the other one's clip-on tie is black.
I look confused, perhaps because this would mark my last appearance in a public school.
Ahhh, this picture just about sums up all there is to say about prep school.
Ya gotta have a crew of rudeboys, even in boarding school.
Graduation from Assimilation Academy. Hello, White America! Lt. TAN reporting for duty!
The college goatee announces itself; TAN manages to still keep tabs on my beautiful black women
OH NO!!! The pen in the hat is always a sure sign of trouble brewing....
No seriously. I'm a walking PSA ...
We can rebuild him!
Guess who's back. Still assimilated, but now w/ microphones and middle fingers.
And an edgy screw-face, and new TAN teammates ...
And now I pretty much look like this all the time. I am assimilated negro! Hear me roar!
You were such a cute baby, WTF happened!?!?! :)
ReplyDeleteOMG, TAN! You were adoooooorable as a child.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I was ever washed in a sink. Guess I missed out.
The prep school pics cracked me up. They brought back memories of my own private school education, though I only went to a day school -- I get a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I see a pair of Tretorn sneakers.
ReplyDeleteThat whole post read like a clip reel from Willie Dynamite.
ReplyDeleteLove the first pic! The mohawk look with the toothless grin really works for you. Have you ever considered going back to it? ;)
ReplyDeleteI think you should re-enact pict No. 2 and post it...
ReplyDeleteWhat prep school did you go to? I went to Proctor Academy. I sincerely believe there should be at least one literary collection of Black people who went to prep schools. It should be titled: "A negro no more."
ReplyDeleteI absolutely positively love your baby pictures. Soapy goodness.
ReplyDeleteYou're truly becoming a man. Rite of passage--chin pubes. 2nd Rite of Passage--shaving to reveal chin cleavage
ReplyDeleteGreat collection of photos!
ReplyDeleteAlthough the "we can rebuild him" one will give me nightmares - thanks a lot!
Bring back the beard. It's so Scary Giant Black Man.
ReplyDeleteNice progression...
ReplyDeleteyou know you that bear was on another naked lap an hour later.
ReplyDeleteeasy bear.
You were a cute chubby baby boy.
ReplyDeleteI like the last pic too...although, I can't see your face....
bloopty!
I love, love, love it! You inspire me.
ReplyDeleteOk, the pics and the comments had me laughing til I cried here at the job!
ReplyDeleteLOL
I wanna see the reenactment of pic #2 too!
:)
L
Ok, the pics and the comments had me laughing til I cried here at the job!
ReplyDeleteLOL
I wanna see the reenactment of pic #2 too!
:)
L
PS 100!
ReplyDeleteWho is that dude in the black tie, I don't recognize him.
Naked baby pictures? What no diapers?
ReplyDeleteHa ha!
TAN,
ReplyDeleteIt has been awhile. You were super cute baby. I do understand you assimilation process as they almost got me all the way on that one as well in private school. Alas, Ms. Denva broke free of the chains and wore the fro proudly for about 3 years. :-). I guess there is a fine line between activism and assimilation.
Ms. Denva the 5280 Princess
sigh....this post cracked me up and brought back some suburban high school memories.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately the nudes stop early on. I'm with those who want re-enactment of picture #2.
ReplyDeletei think im in love
ReplyDelete