Wednesday, May 14, 2008

About TAN: 5/14

Hi there,

I'm putting this updated About TAN up since I'm getting e's and facebook messages asking me why I'm being so slow/lazy/negligent. Also people asking whether I'm male or female, black or white etc., which I think would be patently clear, but you never know who lurks behind the computer so I'll take the chance to put up a refresher pic-- that's me picking my nose on the right. I also revolutionized the blog photo shoot a couple years ago. So there's that.

Basically things have been slow as I'm trying to get the proposal done for The Greatest Book On Race Ever, and it's literally taking me longer than the Civil Rights movement (someone needs to firehose me and send in the attack dogs!). It's just with a title like that there's obviously much hand-wringing and consternation, plus I'm having trouble finding someone to write it for me on craigslist. Also, I'm slow and dim-witted, soooo there you go.

So friends I've been ignoring: my apologies (but that's what friends are for, right?). Editors who I owe or have promised letters and words for: umm, they're coming? Thank you for bearing with me. (incidentally, editors who would be interested in TGBORE (emphasis on BORE) can contact me via the email on the sidebar, I will put you on The List and highlight your name in melanin. I'll also get rid of all the double parentheticals in edit. Promise.) Random readers who are neither friends nor editors: look, I have friends and know editors! Yay!

Hmmm, what else? I have abandonment issues, so please don't leave me. I'll be back soon. Like maybe even tomorrow. And I have a slave ship full of links and content waiting to be released from their chains; just have to whip them into shape a little more.

(another aside: in thinking about my abandonment issues it occurs that negroes in general might have abandonment issues, like we got picked up and thought we were going to play bumper boats with the white people or something and then, not so much (cf. slavery), so now we're sort of socially adept but distant, not capable of the full love/embrace. We're still all clingy with american mainstream culture, and feel nervous when it looks like caucasians are bailing on us (looking at you West Virginia). Anyhuh, still whipping this particular negro-thought into shape, but was wondering why I don't see more reference to the disorders blacks collectively might suffer from as a result of the period of abuse in this country.)

Not sure how to segue here ... Look! Barbara Walters slept with a black guy! bwahahahahahahahahaha. Ahhhh, it's funny cause it's true.

Ok. Be back soon. Really! I never lie when I'm wearing my seersucker shorts by a pool in Vieques (don't hate the player, hate the blog. and the prep school).



  1. Anonymous5/14/2008

    The other note that should be made for the benefit of our newcomers is that the pool in the photo is, in fact, one of eight pools on TAN's palatial estate.

    As a blogger who keeps touch with the "little people" -- those of us who have not yet found blogging fame and fortune -- TAN is a bit modest about his success, and he scrupulously keeps the Bentley and Aston Martin out of his pictures. (Ditto the Lear, the Hargrave, and the helicopter.)

    But his success has been an inspiration to those of us who have followed his blog over the past several years, and we welcome the new readers, whom we believe will learn much from TAN.

    And the first thing they will learn is this:

    Blogging pays. Yes, it does.

  2. ^^^ i wanna be like TAN!!

    i've been gone for a minute now i'm back with the jump off...

  3. Anonymous5/17/2008

    Nice Pool!

  4. I've identified a disease I've termed BIDS.

    The patents should arrive any day now...


    This is the real deal! I've made $2.084.00 so far!

    $$$ Just wanted to let everyone know that if you're really interested in working from home, I make money regularly from two free-of-charge websites that pay well for filling out simple online forms, and it's all free! You pay nothing, ever! Just sign up and start making $$ money $$ right away!

    You also make INSTANT CASH for everyone you sign up! Paste the links below into your browser to begin:

  6. You are a very handsome dude.

  7. Anonymous6/02/2008

    Sardonic and aesthetically pleasing...

  8. awww, thanks jump. you can use the Bentley anytime.


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