TAN: *taps shower knob/shoulder* Hi shower. How are you today? I just woke up, but in my dreams I dreamed about you being nice to me. I dreamed of cleansing my soul under your pure waters.
Temperamental Shower (TS): *responds coldly* HMMPHH.
TAN: *flashes infectious smile* Oh, you're always chilly in the morning. But you'll warm up. Please hurry though, I have to get out of here soon.
TS: Get out of my face. I don't care where you think you have to be? Why are you even bothering me? You know I'm not a morning person.
TAN: Come on man. let's not do this today?
TS: Let's not do what??!!? Ni**a, get the f*ck out of my face!! No one would want you anywhere if I didn't rinse your nasty off every day. I'm tired of you taking me for granted.
TAN: You're right. Sorry. I'm just sayin'. Look, I didn't mean to be rude, I'm gonna go back to the bedroom get my towel and stuff, and maybe when I get back you'll be a little more friendly.
TS: Maybe. But I wouldn't go placing any big bets if you know what I'm saying.
TAN: True. ok man, I'll be back. *leaves to fetch towel*
TAN: Ok, I'm back. How you feeling?
TS: Better, I guess. Sorry I was so cold before. You know I'm just a grumpy-pants in the morning. But I'm ready to get it on now.
TAN: excellent. ok, I'm gonna get in.
TAN: *enters shower* Any chance we can get through this one without you turning on me?
TS: What are you talking about?
TAN: nothing. forget it.
TS: So where you going today?
TAN: I have two meetings. One with this toy company, about a hip hop line of toys. The other is with this producer who might work with me on my next EP.
TS: Sounds cool.
TAN: Yeah, hopefully they'll be productive meetings.
TS: Oh, you know I have to tell you something.
TAN: what's that?
TS: BURN!!!! BURN NEGRO BURN!!! DIE DIE DIE!!!! FEEL THIS BOILING WATER ON YOUR BACK YOU UNGRATEFUL ASSIMILATED WENCH!!
TAN: ARRRGGHH THE PAIN!! *bangs head on the wall trying to evade scalding water stream*
TS: whoopsy. sorry about that TAN. I don't know what took over me. It's ok now.
TAN: god man, that's what I was talking about before. *feels bump on head* Why do you do that? *reenters shower*
TS: I don't know. It's sort of impulsive, not really pre-meditated you know.
TAN: well it really sucks, I could really get hurt one of these times. I already have a lump on my head.
TS: huh? what did you say?
TAN: I said I could really get hur—
TS: FREEZE BASTARDO!! I DON"T CARE WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY. I AM YOUR SHOWER, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT??? HUH??!!? THAT"S RIGHT, NOTHING!! I AM THE SHOWER AND YOU ARE A PUNY HUMAN! YOU'RE NOT GONNA DO NOTHING BUT FREEZE YOUR ASS OFF!!! THEN LEAVE AND COME BACK FOR MORE TOMORROW!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I"M DONE WITH YOU B*TCH. GET OUT OF HERE.
*shower cuts off*
TAN: A**hole. Can I at least get a little water to rinse the soap from underneath the young and the restless?
TS: You sure you want some?
TAN: No forget it, I'll just leave it there. Ass.
TS: See you tomorrow TAN.
TAN: *raises middle finger* I hate you.
TS: tell me tomorrow. Ciao baby.
and ... scene