Seal: Self Eponymous And Lazy

So I was looking up the wiki on Seal, thinking about writing a "Seal Guide To Bagging White Women." Seal, of course, might be one of the Rushmore faces for breezie-bagging. Perhaps even more deserving of reverence than Derek Jeter, because well, Derek Jeter has this pretty-boy thing going on, and Seal is just f'ing up what Heidi Klum's child is going to look like.

I never really peeped Seal as an artist. None of his singles were ever particularly compelling for me. And I never knew him beyond "that ni**a with the scars." So checking out his discography I was very amused to discover all his albums have Seal in the name except one. Which is named Human Being. I think the discography almost reads like an Onion piece:

Seal
Seal
(these two alone are ridiculous. It's like, come on son, ... your name, again?!!?!)
Human Being
Seal IV
Best of Seal (1991-2004)
Seal: Live In Paris

Ridiculous, no? I like that when you see the whole catalogue, and the covers, it's clear he would have named every CD "Seal" if left to his own devices. Someone obviously stopped him on the third one, and he was like, "um, ok,... are you sure I can't name it Seal? Hmmm, well how about Seal: Human Being?" They were like, "ok fine, just take out the Seal." Then you know he was probably insistent on the fourth one. They had to compromise and get him to add the number. And of course the Best of and Live album fill out the collection.

How is this allowed though? I can't think of a popular artist who could get away with this level of narcissism (without a blog, no less!). I think because he's black, with craters in his face, he gets a free pass. Also his wife is so hot. He's basically untouchable. He's in his own zone. We all aspire to live a life like Seal. Blessed, Blissed, and unconcerned with the outside world.

A world where all you have to do is be Self Eponymous And Lazy, and f*ck Heidi Klum when she's around.