Thursday, December 07, 2006

Ghetto Pass: Ghetto Pickup Artists

Today's Ghetto Pass is on those romantic street troubadours:
What many people love about the ghetto is the lack of pretense. And Ghetto Pickup Artists (GPAs) are no exception. Don't look for any of that hi-falutin' passive-aggressive "hello, what's your name, can I buy you a drink?" bullshit here. Alcohol, pot, and cocaine? Pfft! These drugs are merely crutches for those who lack the esophogeal-dexterity, ESL skills, and fervent faith in "love at first sight" to properly project kissing noises while also saying, "ay mami, I'm gonna have to marry you if you put anymore culo in those pants." Today we examine the ghetto's inconvenient truth, the carnal conquistadors and true alpha-romantics in the Urban Jungle of Love. So come on in all you shorties and mamacitas, the water is fine, and y'all are looking so hot I think Al Gore is going to need you regulated to prevent Global Warming...
Ghetto Pass: Ghetto Pickup Artists

Earlier:
Ghetto Pass: Cabs & Extras [TAN]
Ghetto Pass [Gawker]

9 comments:

  1. I love it when that "Dance! Too much culo in the pants" song comes on in the club.

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  2. this is always held in tandem with the morning cup o' the java baby!!!

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  3. mist - me too ...

    last word - it's nice to combine a downer with an upper ... provides balance.

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  4. Are you challenging me to a dance off? I want to see you drop it like it's hot.

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  5. mist - ok, I'm down. let me get my leotard.

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  6. EXCELLENT. this made me laugh out loud several times. High risk, high reward -- remind me to tell you about the "Yoink" story, no word weeds out the chickenheads quicker than "yoink"

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  7. Anonymous12/09/2006

    "Did you know there are no blatant homosexual pickup artists in the ghetto? All homosexual flirtations are confined to furtive glances." -- umm, that, and more or less open masturbation.

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  8. ned - ok, it better be good with all this ballyhoo

    anon - lucky you ...

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  9. The other day on 125th,I was doing the stare-at-the-sidewalk-walk that was supposed to make me invisible, but it didn't work. I got two teeth sucks, a "Bless you, mami" AND a bonus "Girl, hold yo head up. I LIKE that walk."

    Damn, I love the 'hood.

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