Monday, June 04, 2007

Missed Connections: You, Foreign Chick with Balls; Me, Pansy Negro with None m4w

I was working in a Starbucks last night, and there was this fairly cute girl icing me. She was two tables from me, and after playing eyetag over the course of 15-20 minutes I overheard her talking on the phone. She wasn't American, which made her hotter. And after getting off the phone she continued to flash me looks. Even when she departed she stared at me while standing at the corner with her umbrella in the rain. If I would have ran out at that moment and said hello, IT COULD HAVE BEEN CLASSIC. She was totally a foreign chick who'd be down to kiss a guy that struck her fancy in the rain. Unfortunately, I totally pulled a TAN2 and didn't f'ing do anything. I'm sick over it now. All I did was look back at her and give that muted smile us pansy guys do when we're being pansies.

I'm disgusted with the passive aggressive elements of my personality. I detest them. The biggest of allure of foreign chicks (and dudes too probably) is that they are alpha. They don't play games. I don't want to play games. Games are weak. Games are for children. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I flirted like a child. But now I'm a man and it's time to put down childish things.

NO MORE!!

From here on out I will be the guy running up to the foreign chick in the rain. Yes, I'll be slapped in the face, and yelled at in a language I don't understand. And she'll point out the blemish on my forehead that happens to be leaking sebaceous fluids, something she had previously never seen before ... BUT AT LEAST I'LL BE ALIVE DAMMIT!!!!

19 comments:

  1. well i hope you accidentally run into her again maybe you can make up for your pansifications. hahaha. yeah... i can totally relate

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  2. Feh. She could have approached you after doing all that eye stuff. I would question who was being passive aggressive in that scenario and I think your instincts to hold back were correct.

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  3. Oh man, two years ago a similar thing happened to me. At a boring business conference no less. Guy was a Brit and cute as a button. I shoulda left my card, but didn't. Stupid, stupid girl. Will NEVER happen again.

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  4. OH MY GOD!!! I understand this concept very well. Tan, my advice (of coure my advice is stolen from some one else) nonetheless is to just say 'yes' to life. YESSSS!

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  5. Anonymous6/04/2007

    The weeping blemish isn't enough to tell you you're alive? It always works for me, in a Job-ish kind of fashion.

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  6. Anonymous6/04/2007

    TAN C'est la vie but damn I am feeling you.

    G.

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  7. do it TAN! just fucking do it bro! i've developed a similar life philosophy as well. do what you feel compelled to do in your heart and gut and don't outthink yourself.

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  8. Despite all the well-meaning advice here to "just do it," I think you made the right decision. She was a tranny. With incurable things below.

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  9. oooo, anonymous #1, you sound hawt. How *you* doin'?

    I'm with vladimir, your instincts were likely correct, it's just tough when they don't reconcile with what you think you want.

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  10. Although I think you should have manned up and handled your business, times have changed. If SHE was looking that hard, SHE should have hollered at you. From an assimilated foreign chick: I would have ;)

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  11. If she was French, she wuz prob hot for u because you got that Lazy Look down pat.

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  12. As a sexy, empowered lady who has approached many a man (and woman) for a date, I would say she was also at fault, but she most likely was trying to save YOU some manhood by NOT making the ultimate move that would have parlayed into a DYNAMIC STORYLINE by taking away your initiative and approaching you herself. I mean, the universe will make up for it if it was meant to be, but next time, you need to step up to the plate. TAN- how many semi-attractive black men sit up late in Starbucks writing on a computer? (2) And of those men, how many don't have the balls to walk over and speak to a woman who's CLEARLY grilling him? (1) FYI: There are points to be gained from just the ballsiness it would have taken to wave to her, and more to be lost from not taking action. For shame!

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  13. What a romantic moment it would have been...even if she did slap you..that would have been classic.

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  14. Maybe it'd be nineteen fifties you'd get slapped but today the freak whips out an uzi and backdaf*kup is heard.Woah baby!Yep bravado is met with anxietal fear and gun totin mamas.Then again you might get lucky,cant catch a fish without a line in the water,but frisk her first hehe.

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  15. Anonymous6/22/2007

    You know how women say they want a nice, sensitive guy and then turn around and date the asshole?

    I reckon it's the same with men and "I'd love a woman to ask me out". Yeah sure mate, sure.

    Anyhow, I'm sure there'll be more sexy foreign chicks in your life to come. Carpediem!

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  16. so completely get this. and by the look of the comments on this, so are many more! damn! if only everyone knew how everyone else was feeling, i'm guessing we could cut through a lot of the crap and start to make some meaning out of our lives! even if it meant sitting in starbucks and getting jiggy with estranged soulmates...!!

    keep at it man! may the force be with us!!

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  17. i dunno, if i were her and you ran up to me in the rain, i'd prolly get you with pepper spray, coz generally people don't like being followed by strangers. but if you did something subtly nice for her, like slip her a free coffee while the boss was unawares, then that would have been sweet.

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  18. i'm a foreign chick. foreign chicks don't duck (national men).

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  19. i think this was a particularly low point in your posting career...

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