From The Noose To The Red Carpet, Let Freedom Ring

Hi there, my caucasian friend. Question: Do you know any black people struggling on their grind, trying to come up so they can get some red carpet shine? You do? Well tell them to buck up, because there's a new opportunity for negro fame and celebrity, and the best part about it is YOU CAN HELP.

All you have to do is buy one of these N-Nooses I'm selling for $8.99, and put it on your friend's doorstep, or perhaps a nearby tree (y'know, the one your friend isn't allowed to use). Tell your friend when he sees the rope and gets over the first wave of depressionin (depressionin = depression due to melanin issues) to call all the rappers in his Top 5, as well as Al Sharpton and the rest of the Negro Mafia. Once informed that you have seen one of my patented ultra-insulting N-Nooses, they will have your friend personally escorted to the next/nearest Black entertainment event so they can floss and get all that negativity out of their system. If your friend is a black male, call now and we'll throw in sex with Kim Kardashian and Vivica Fox too! And if you don't believe this incredible offer, just ask two of the Jena 6 boys who were seen last week basking in the glow of a carpet red from the blood of slaughtered slaves. Can I get a woot-woot!

Those could be your friends too, caucasian. And you know when a white person helps a black person get on, we never forget it! So act now and maybe you'll get broken off some KK or Vivica also. Or at least get a shout-out on the J6 hip hop album ( Making The Band? when it comes out. Holla!

Contact TAN to place your order now*

*void where prohibited. N-Noose may cause emotional/psychological damage, side effects include: nausea, headaches, unprotected sex, sobriety-intolerance, and a generally reckless approach to life.

Random Ridiculousness: BET Hip Hop Awards [Bossip]
hat tip: K