Choosing between Kanye and 50 Cent is not just about record sales, it's a choice we have to make in all sorts of scenarios: Do we need the more physically imposing, alpha-masculine 50 Cent, or do we want thoughtful, in-touch-with-his-femine-side, meta-metrosexual Kanye? There's pros and cons to each, so lets put the Kanye vs. 50 Cent challenge to some tests outside of record sales:In the supermarket: Having an intimidating presence is helpful at the supermarket. People won't dare skip you in line, and they may even let you go in front of them if you rip your shirt off and perform a song like Amusement Park. If you're the more stylish Kanye, you might have a better chance of charming the market person, but muscles are just as sweet as brains to a girl who has nothing but a cash register to look forward to. In the end, I say physical intimidation is the surest bet to get what you want in most supermarket scenarios. Winner: 50
In Harlem with your white girlfriend:
AS SEEN IN NEGROPEDIA
BWA HA HA. You're a funny dude.
ReplyDeleteI've been in love with Fiddy for years... and a little secret girls get to know... underneath it all, Fiddy is really very sweet and girlish.
So I'd say Fiddy is the clear winner here... plus, he doesn't bitch like a girl.
Kanye gets shot less, winner: Kanye
ReplyDeleteBling, schming, sickness, ick-ness..
ReplyDeleteEmbarrassing specimens both.
Sorry, but I take no prisoners in music-related matters.
¦:¬|
Interesting take on the whole thing. I think they both suck. However, I will say this. Just because you got muscles don't mean you can break it down in the bed.......Wink-wink.
ReplyDeletei think 50 is more a threat to your job than kanye. kanye is the guy with the middle class background and better speech, so he presents better, but is actually quite dumb (have you heard his interview quotes, he is dumb as rocks) so he will always be that guy smart enough to keep his job but too dumb to be a real threat. 50 is the kind of guy you sleep on for being too hood, but is actually an animal of a businessman based on the deals he cut with reebok, vitamin water, coke, etc. that guy is a serious networker and hustler, and based on insights from his interviews i think he's actually smarter than kanye. i'd hire kanye's dumb ass over his for sure.
ReplyDeleteI'd rather have Kanye in all situations, especially in bed. I won't feel a need to wash the goods out with bleach immediately following intercourse for fear that I will get pregnant with some fugly, shuckin and jivin coon baby. With Kanye, I could wait til tomorrow to get Plan B.
ReplyDeleteI'd hire 50 as a security guard though since he seems to be good at catching bullets, but his b---- a-- lives near my ex in Connecticut so how tough is he really?
Kan for sure. Fiddy's all cut up and doesn't use all those big words like Kanye.
ReplyDeleteAlso, people who have been shot hella times have too much baggage.
And let's not forget who Jesus walks with...
I just like how Kanye is standing on his toes to see eye to eye with 50. On the subject though, I don't think Kanye spent enough time on his new album. It felt rushed and not as well produced. 50's new album is pretty much what people expected it to be, which makes it congruent but also makes it seem like 50's style is becoming less and less unique with everyone throwing out club jams these days.
ReplyDeleteWhich one are you....Do you chew rocks and microwave kittens like 50 Cent or do you appreciate frilly lace and make pretty jewelry like Kanye West?
ReplyDelete---
Check out the rest of our story on this at http://www.globalgrind.com
I'll sit this out and just be RZA :D
ReplyDeletePatrice
ReplyDeleteyou write real good and real funny - I particularly love the way you mix it up with appropriate metaphors and juxtapose the low and the high brow not to mention the moral ground.
Most of all I like your stance on the whole american race obsession - I'm looking forward to your book...?
Hm. Could I have them both, please?
ReplyDelete