Wednesday, January 02, 2008

You Can Not Pass Out Around White People

So I was going to write about my NYE "Party Crash" style, because it was a quintessentially TAN evening with both a caucasian party and a negro party on the docket. And honestly, on Sunday my cloudy brain was absolutely flummoxed by the black/white partying dichotomy.

But I don't have time to flesh it out, and the negro party is largely irrelevant, only serving as racial contrast and control to what I'm really curious about: what is going on with white people at parties?

In lieu of the Party Crash, I offer Dave Chappelle's analysis:

But seriously folks. I would have thought those stereotypes expired once I got out of college, but peep this NYE aftermath written by the hostess of a party I went to in Williamsburg. That's definitely some ass-meet-carrot ish right there. And seriously? Wine on the walls and the autographed Dolly Parton poster? A hole in the wall?? Tampons on the couch??? Who does this? As an assimilated negress friend of mine said when I shared the story, "black people of the same socio-economic/education level would NEVER do that."

And she makes a good point, because you want to say it's just some entitled ish, but no. Black people get to' up and will do some drunken nonsense, but never no carrot-in-your-ass like this. It's like this ilk of white people were raised by animals. Can someone please explain this phenomenon?

The flip side of this is the aftermath itself. This girl got Paypal donate links and ish, and still manages to say Happy New Year to folks. As far as I'm concerned the scene in those pics is WAY beyond Paypal. Like Dave says in the clip, this type of behavior is a DEATH SENTENCE on the street. If someone got red wine on my autographed GZA poster, it's A WRAP for them. I would most certainly be hunting hipster in Williamsburg right this very moment. Fuck carrots!


  1. "Since most of the damage happened after I passed out, I'm not footing this entire bill."

    Ah, youth.

  2. As an assimilated negress friend of mine said when I shared the story, "black people of the same socio-economic/education level would NEVER do that."

    I'm a little conflicted. While I agree with her statement about blacks being more respectful of the property, on the flip side bourgie black parties are some of the most mind-numbingly dull and uptight social affairs on the planet. It's like they are trying so hard to not be ghetto that they sometmes forget to be spontaneous or fun. And if you are hoping to score, forget about the bourgie black party. So there's pluses and minuses to both.

  3. Anonymous1/03/2008

    i thought it was just white frat boys too.

    but it extends well after college, i don't understand what white people's problem is.

    even at ghetto parties, black people know better than that. there are some things that will get you killed, no matter what, with black people. bougie or otherwise.

    (which is why i have to classify parties that i am taking friends to, "black party or white party? white? oh, i'll stay home then. my ass can't take no carrots tonight.")

  4. At least white people will let you crash at they spot. Black people will kick you the fuck out…Matter of fact I’m surprised black folk would even share their weed…

  5. The thing is that you have no idea what socio-economic/education level the people who did most of the damage are. I believe that you left before most of them showed up. Venue isn't always a reflection of its clientele. Phenomenon explained.

  6. This sounds like an amazing party.

  7. i'll be damned if i have people white/black/purple/green in my house and they leave it in a mess...but...

    i do love partying with white people..they always buy drinks.

  8. Anonymous1/04/2008

    As was said above, this has nothing to do with race or income, it's about passing out at your own dam party. It's not a god-given right for ppl to respect your shit, it's something that must be enforced with drunken bitchy-ness. Hope that all worked out :-)

  9. White folks do tend to do some strange shit to one another that I've typically don't see black folks do. Especially the menfolk (a la, leaving sexually graphic gay sex messages on other co-workers phones.)

    But typically the white people I've partied with have allowed me on occasion to pass out in their home and they leave me alone, with the exception of that one time the British dude from my job tried to make out with me.

    But ... um ... I'm not really complaining about that one.

    The worst I've seen black folks do was just fuck up your apartment. And I have to agree with one of the anonymous posters, most black bourgie parties are dull as hell. The last one I went to there was no liquor and we played Scatagories. No on tried to make out with me. Very disappointing.

    Not that I'm into that sort of thing.


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