Sunday, April 01, 1990

Gawk At This (lyrics)

Some bloggers think they're so smart. But I wrote this on April Fool's Day in 1990, so you folks are shit-going-uphill compared to the TAN-Man. In fact I wrote this when Jessica was still just a little snark dishing out monotonously sadistic comments about her family and friends up to twelve times a day. Only difference is then the lightning rods were My Pretty Pony instead of Paris Hilton. And Care Bears instead of Kate Moss.

Gawk At This (lyrics)

ummm, I can't read, where's the audio?

G is for the gossip
A is for showing your ass
W is for whatever
So the K is for Kash
E is for the er … uh ..
bloggity blah
no duh
*snark snark*
"see you after the jump."
but can I get a little bump ...
*I don't know what this sound is*
now I’m pumped to slam dunk
wannabe blog-chumps
you'll look a little too chunky
smell a little too funky
you girls sound drunk
trunk’s a little too junky
while I’m hunky
spaced off
feeling kind of spunky
so when I say Kate Moss
you'll say coke junkie
*cough cough*
Kate you know we love you
we wouldn’t be the toast if skin and bones stayed out of trouble
cause it’s gawker-stalker
popping the corkers
fat stackscause all our trackbacks need a walker
this is full throttle
hip hop for models
the kind who look good, roll, and drink half the bottle
make you change your mottos
think you hit the lotto
when they grab you and say “fuck me” in a voce sotto
got the melanin flowing
for Jessica Coen
girl where you heading?
I’m going …


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