Are Smileys Dead? Or Is Dissing People Using Smileys Dead?

So I e-mailed one of the Variety Shac girls to tell them how funny it would be if they did a sketch where they all just administer oral to an assimilated black guy for the whole thing they are. I thought the exchange that followed contained some useful content, so I'm posting it here (with slight editing), followed by some post e-mail reflections. As always (with pasted e-mails) you should start from the bottom and move up. By popular request, I've reorganized the e-mails so they read normally.

UPDATE!! - initiating e-mail from TAN:

On 1/23/06, T. A. Negro wrote:

you're funny. can't wait 'til we hang. it's gonna be awesome, ... or ok.

On 1/23/06, Chelsea Peretti wrote:

Hey:)

Thanks........or.....no thanks?

YAY! WE'RE IN CONTACT!

On 1/24/06, T. A. Negro wrote:

yeee-haaa ...!!

and you're welcome

fyi - I think smileys/emoticons became illegal when the year turned over. But our e-secret ...

when I got my blog registration it said I shouldn't answer an e-mail this quickly, ... so you should know I'm only taking a quick breath for air while writing my multi-million dollar "power" script ...

do you get a lot of peretti = pretty lines?

I've said too much...

ciao for niao

-P

On 1/24/06, Chelsea Peretti wrote:

haha ciao for niao

peretti/pretty yes. happens here and there.

power script, of course. congrats.

smileysssss......well, you inspired an instant post......trust me it's not about you it's a peeve that was building.

here's the link

don't hate me. don't h8 me.

On 1/24/06, T. A. Negro wrote:

fuck you.

i h8 you.

black people hate you dot com

On 1/24/06, Chelsea Peretti wrote:

TA ru 4 realllllllll? Nooooooooooooooooooooooo

Uhoh......I had a belated nagging feeling a link with "dumb fuck" and "douche" might not illicit shared laughter....I am an idiot who puts comedy before brotherhood at all times. But I swear it wasn't personal. I just thought it was funny to be aggro about smileys.

Sor-ray.

On 1/24/06, Chelsea Peretti wrote:

Dammit--elicit.

On 1/24/06, T. A. Negro wrote:

no, um, seriously, its fine.

you're so peretti you know (i feel "here and there" is clearance for me to go crazy)

you know what sucks though is that this was the first time I proactively broke out the smiley criticism. It was like I was breaking it in to the arsenal. So not only did it not go over, I come to find out its hack material ...

on top of that I'm questioning me sending that first e-mail to really "sell" my hating of your "joke."

this thread started out with such promise. now life is going very fast and i'm sweating.

still, I might end up using this for a post also. if only to link you and tell my blog friends we slept together.

On 1/24/06, Chelsea Peretti wrote:

hhhahaahahahahaaaa hilarious exchange. it's only irritating to me. everyone else would agree with you re: smileys.

:) :) :)

On 1/24/06, T. A. Negro wrote

but this is a nice way to seduce people to your show. I'm so going now. mark it down. How To Create Fans: get people to e-mail you, then call them a douche INSTANTLY on their blog, and tell them "sorry, its jokes b4 people 4 me"

I'm smitten ... with $5 in hand.

On 1/24/06, Chelsea Peretti wrote:

Hhaa its jokes b4 people 4 me. You should come to the shac on feb 7th.
That's my favorite.

http://www.thevarietyshac.com/

Reflections:

First off, in this section of the post you should not start from the bottom anymore and read up. You should start at this point and read down (I don't like to be presumptuous with my readers, it comes from a heightened sense of respect for your intelligence).

Yesterday was the breaking-in of the smiley criticism AND the "ciao for niao" - don't go biting my e-styze fellas, that's just wrong. It's protected by a Creative Commons license.

I love Chelsea's follow-up with an apology and then she double e's me [sic] not to reemphasize the apology, or god forbid, retract the statement, but to correct the word "elicit."

UPDATE/ NEW REFLECTION - I'm such an e-mail whore.

Chelsea's a smart marketer, because it ends up being a shameless plug for her show.

I can't believe I happened on the person who orchestrated blackpeopleloveus.com. Though I'm a little pissed she beat me to it, it's like she was TAN before TAN.

E-mailing with me is a dream. You should really try it some time if you get the chance.

Finally, the ultimate reflection, and only real question that matters is, who's more of a "douche?" People who use smileys, or people who call out smiley users?

What say the people???