Meta Emoticons And Their Meta Meanings

So in response to Chelsea's post, and this exchange I thought it would be wise to offer up some alternative smiley/emoticons. Cause there's clearly some sort of problem, and I suspect it might be that our current emoticons don't convey enough depth to our thought process. Since I've been studying hipsters and their meta-ways, I figured I'd throw out some "Meta Emoticons" that might help deepen your IM and E-mail exchanges.


:-d?
Dude, this indicates I’m only emoticoning to acknowledge your attempt at humor, and I don’t know why.

:-d
Dude, this indicates I’m only emoticoning to acknowledge your attempt at humor.

:-/
Dude, the slash represents the ambivalence I feel about expressing an emotion at all. I don’t know whether to smile and encourage or display my true lack of enthusiasm over your recent comments.

:-/?
Dude, the slash represents the ambivalence I feel about expressing an emotion at all. I don’t know whether to smile and encourage or display my true lack of enthusiasm over your recent comments, and I don’t know why.

???
Why ask why, you can only ask why.

?????
Why ask why, you can only ask why, why?

;-c
Can you believe that not only do I use emoticons, but I still use the wink. People shouldn’t wink in real life, let alone in internet life. UPDATE: Also doesn't it look like I have a fu-manchu or something?

!!?…
Shit!, Fuck!, Really?, tell me more ...

:-~
That wasn’t the real me saying that, it was the idealized version of me that I project as my IM/E-mail consciousness/sensibility/persona.


Related:
New Emoticons For Messaging Friends From Work [Michelle Collins]
New Urgent Text Messages [Chelsea Peretti]