Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Morgan Freeman Deserves Some Ass Goddammit: A Petition in Three Parts

Part 1 - The Ashley Judd Paradox
A Photo Essay

Ashley Judd: By any measure a sexy lady.

Morgan Freeman: Old School sexy. Also, he'll bring the cognac and jazz records.

They've done a couple movies together. Marketing says their images are best positioned diagonally.

Ashley knows how to use her sex appeal. Also, she likes UK Hockey

Ashley does a movie with Hugh Jackman, she's excited. Who wouldn't be? Sexy never left.

Unibrowed women also get Ashley in the mood. This Judd is all about the sex.

Or maybe not. This is Ashley in a movie with Morgan Freeman.

Needless to say the body language is less than encouraging.

"Ok, I don't need the gun, but make sure that ni**a's wearing a harness."

What happened to the sexy Ashley?

What do you think about this Morgan?

This problem runs deep. I don't condone, Morgan, but I understand.

Part 2 - From Shawshank Redemption To No-Ass Detention
Morgan Muses On A Career Of Missed Opportunities ...


  1. I guess you had to be there.

  2. yay, look who's back.

    i'll sign the petition, i love morgan freeman (though not exactly in that way.

  3. Anonymous11/01/2006

    good call TAN. I've thought often of Morgan Freeman and his inability to "close."

    looking forward to part 2

  4. Poor Morgan ... I have to say, this has been the most enjoyable, albeit depressing, thing I've read all day, so thanks

  5. the line about morgan having to wear a harness made me spray. hilarious!

  6. Anonymous11/02/2006

    Morgan is greatest actor, i like him much.

           .---.       .-----------
          /     \  __ /    ------
          //     \( )/    -----
         //////   '\/ `   ---
        //// / //:    : ---
       // /   / /`    '--
     //         //..\\
    =Fly to offshore now=

  7. Anonymous11/03/2006

    Morgan Freeman can't get none of that motherfucking white pussy when he playing nothing but a cop. he gotta take them old school billy dee roles to be banging them white breezies.


  8. Well, what was the last film he got any pussy at all? Black or white?

  9. Anonymous11/03/2006

    I know he smashed Miss Daisy-- they just left it on the cutting room floor.

    Also, has anyone ever looked at photos of Long Dong Silver and M. Freeman next to each other? He's had his share, believe me.

  10. Anonymous11/14/2006

    You know he's gay, right?
    He's just glad Ashley isn't getting any of her cheerleader-girl-panty cooties on him.

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