Sunday, April 15, 2007

Assimilated Thoughts: Uptown/Downtown

When I go downtown to Gawk HQ and I pull out my 14" ibook I worry that Balk or Emily are going to write some snarky post about “TAN's cheesy laptop.” It feels big and cumbersome and old.

When I pull out my ibook uptown, I attract a crowd and elicit oooh’s and ahhh’s from the crowd. I feel on the cutting edge of technology.

When I wear my olive green corduroy jeans from Ralph downtown, I feel like I'm part of the crowd. Maybe a little hipsterish, but no one notices.

When I wear them uptown, I feel like I'm wearing a costume. Everyone is looking and wondering why my pants aren’t blue or black. Or made of denim.

If I'm downtown and I only have $5 on me, if I don't find a fast food dollar menu somewhere I'm skeptical of my chances of getting something to eat.

If I'm uptown it seems the world is my oyster and I can eat just about anywhere I want.

When I'm downtown, I overhear conversations about New Media, and blogs, and The Assimilated Negro.

When I'm uptown all I hear about is myspace. The internet = myspace.

When I'm downtown I laugh and frolic with my caucasian friends with nary a second thought about how corny they might look, or if they're embarrassing me and/or undermining my “negro kool.” In fact, I occasionally even wonder if I'm the one embarrassing them (answer: yes!).

When I'm uptown, I always end up giving my caucasian friends a look-over and scurry them along according to their corniness quotient.

One world is tough enough, two is driving me crazy...


  1. Anonymous4/16/2007

    How far uptown are we talking here? Like what subway stop?

  2. what the h*ll is that vw bug sculpture in the photo? i'm intrigued as all hell. wheredja find it? who made it? in what city was the photo taken?

    --it's appealing visually, spherically, and then of course one wonders -- is it about interracial dating? a revolution that puts black people on top? and why is that only the white bottom has a license plate -- so i start wondering, wait, maybe the one on top isn't actually a car, maybe it's easier to flip a real car on its back and stick a fake one on top than to merge two autobodies together...

    please, what's the skinny on this photo!

  3. How do you have the time to think about what other people are thinking? You need a distraction.

  4. I'm fake as I tend to stay in in the middle...midtown.
    I can't pass either up or down so I stay central until it's time to go in the

  5. Stephanie4/16/2007

    This is such a good post. Also, I'm sure I'm one of few people in the office who doesn't have a Mac.

  6. selinas!!!!4/16/2007

    ha! This is my first time commenting but definitely not reading. I forgot how I found this blog but I digress. I totally relate.

  7. awww, you never stay downtown for long anyway...


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