Tuesday, April 10, 2007

I Read Penthouse For The Articles, So Should You

So speaking of Racist Sex Parties, I was actually a little miffed with that Details story because it scooped a piece I recently closed for Penthouse, "How To Have Sex With A Racist." But might as well mention it now, and here's a snippet for the TAN faithful:

Finally America is the melting pot they always said it would be. Blacks, Whites, Puerto Ricans, Indians, hipsters, crackers, more are all getting a taste of the once exotic and forbidden fruit. We see it in movies, on TV, even at the mall; it’s like the new national mission is Manifest Miscegenation Destiny.

With all that interracial mating going on, where does that leave the racists? Why should they be left out of the multi-toned orgy? I mean, they're racists not lepers, and what’s casual sex without a little bit of self-loathing? What I’m trying to say is: racists gotta have sex too, and they want to dip their lilly white toes into other gene pools from time to time. Besides, it’s not like couples have to agree on everything, right?

Now for a young African-American male like myself, sleeping with a racist can get stickier than a tar baby, but I should clarify what I mean when I say “racist” ...

So that comes out in the June issue, make sure you pick it up and read it after masturbating to whoever's on the cover.

And also, seriously, no joke, read this article in the New York Observer about the new more upscale vision of Penthouse. Current EIC Mark Healy, who I worked with on this piece, and formerly of GQ, is positioning the mag as more of a men's lifestyle mag, with better pictures. And based on the fairly rigorous editing process with he and his girl Raegan (hi!), I would say they mean business.

So yeah, keep an eye out for the 'House in general, but ESPECIALLY in June. Yay!

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