Friday, January 11, 2008

Shirts & Skins: The Fresh Prince of New England

So I'm debuting a new column at AOL Fanhouse this week. It's called "Shirts & Skins" and according to the current tagline it will be a forum for me to make "jokes and sweeping generalizations" while exploring the week in sports from a racistial perspective.

The opening column examines "The Assimilation of Randy Moss" as he got plucked from the ghetto in Oakland and now sits on top of the world in New England. Here's the intro:

One of the NFL's major stories this year could be an American sitcom called the "The Assimilation of Randy Moss."

At the start of the season Moss was a down-and-out malcontent; a tarnished diamond in the rough of the NFL projects known as the Oakland Raiders. Then he gets shipped off to a New England boarding school, shares a room with Captain America Brady, throws on the blazer, button-down shirt, and tie (in J Crew's fall catalogue this look is called The Patriot) and shapes up his act. From there his exponential development could only be properly expressed through video montage.

Now motivated, Moss is putting his abundant tools to good use. Assimilation successful: Touchdown! Still sassy, funny and smart -- but no longer a menace to society -- Randy Moss has become the Will Smith of Wide Receivers. The Fresh Prince of New England...

We pulled this together quickly, and we're still feeling out some of the layout, format, additional features. But it should be fun -- I hope -- and I'm looking forward to seeing how it develops. Feel free to hit me (read: please!) with feedback and story links/tips; together we can rid the universe of racism one blog post/column at a time.


Randy Moss is the Fresh Prince of New England [AOL Fanhouse]


  1. Remember that movie "School Ties" with Brenden Fraser and Matt Damon? you could remake that with Randy Moss in it. That would be tight. That movie was a hit with jews and wasps alike.

  2. Rounder1/15/2008

    Does this make Tom Brady Hillary Banks?

    Junior Seau is SO Carlton.

    Yeah, I was home a lot in the 90s.

  3. Isn't Randy Moss in trouble for attacking or stalking some woman?


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