Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Who Will Be America's Next Top Racist?: Clare Werbeloff

Ever since Obama slid his woggy ass into the presidential throne, the racists have been fairly quiet. We had a little bit of hubbub with Larry King race-farting in public, and the dude making drunken obama cookies, but nothing real juicy and watermelon-y that we can sink our teeth into.

So I think it might be time to import! And also start a new reality show! And I think Clare Werbeloff makes a fine first housemate for the Real World of Racism.

Who's Clare Werbeloff? Well I didn't know who she was either until a little while ago when I saw (via The Awl, Videogum) her little saucy-aussie racist video presentation. I guess "wog" is like the n-word in Australia. And so in the video she's basically like "this fat ni**a and this skinny ni**a were fighting ..." and blah blah blah I'm also a hot chick and can say anything i want because hotness trumps racism.

And it's true: hotness trumps racism! Just ask any negro who's had a sexy girl ask if she could run her fingers through his wooliness. The answer is invariably: Yes, please do (so long as I can run my peen through your fields of cashmere etc.).

So that's why this reality show idea would be so awesome. I mean, there's a significant percentage of reality shows premised on getting someone who's gonna be "The Ignorant Racist" character anyways. Let's get a whole house of them! If they're hot, America would totally tune in.

The importing of racists works here also because it's more of a sideshow when you don't know the racist colloquialisms from other countries. For example, one of these words is a terribly demeaning epithet: fog, bog, wog, dog, smog -- who cares, right?

Lindsay informs that Clare is now an R-list internet celebrity (I've added the "r-list" part, Clare and Michael Richards are helping initiate this new class of celebritydom) and has a whole PR team and facebook fan group etc. American reality show television can't be too far behind!


  1. I just might appropriate this "R-list celebrity" concept. Brilliant! (But will give credit where due, unDowdlike.)

  2. O: who are the other r-list celebs? if you make the list, let me know.

    (I'm also wondering about my fetishizing of hot racist women(all races). it strikes as mutually beneficial/reciprocal, but who really has the power, y'know?)

  3. Anonymous5/20/2009

    Will Al Sharpton host? Might be his last hope for relevancy.

  4. Imus is an R-Lister, for sure.

  5. Anonymous5/21/2009

    "Wog" isn't really an offensive term in Australia. And it only refers to people of European descent. Not Negroes.

  6. Wah Wah5/21/2009

    Isn't wog the sound used when something bad happens? Like a Debbie Downer type of sound effect, *wog wog*

  7. Anonymous5/21/2009

    re: wog

    The origins/usage issues seem layered, from what I can tell from this urban dictionary entry. It definitely doesn't seem like there's any getting around it being a racialized term.

    TAN, I wonder about your fetishizing of racist women, too. That's kind of disturbing. But interesting in the way that a lot of issues dealing with power (e.g. rape) can get played out (usefully, sometimes) through sex -- as you say. Maybe you should just get an anti-racist white woman to act this out with you in bed. Maybe it would help her purge her white guilt/unconscious racism... Could be a whole new genre of S/M.

  8. Anonymous5/21/2009

    RE: Urban Dictionary Entry

    OK, I posted that before and after reading the *entire* entry I take that back: from what's here, "w*g" is a fully racist term -- esp. as evidenced by the racists who thoughtfully contributed their interpretations of the word, i.e.

    Their diets consist of Kebabs, pizza and cheap food. They secretly ador their mothers. On average a WOG carries 4.5 fones on them.
    Habib: Aaaahh bro, i gott call hamadri, hes gotta check out this fully sick soundsystem i put in my HSV. Check this. It make My kebab jump like the hydrolics hamadri has.

    Mostafa: OH MY GOD BRO!

    Leb3: SICK

    Mostafa: FULLY

  9. Wow, this get's complex huh? My hubby said in England "wog" meant "black". Well, I guess, we'll never know.

  10. TAN, that fetish doesn't seem that strange.

    1. Racism is one of our strongest taboos.

    2. two words: hate fucking.

  11. From wikipedia:

    Wog is also an ethnic slur in Australian English. The term traditionally denoted immigrants principally of Southern European, Eastern European, and Middle Eastern origins (and since then, their descendants).

    The "ethnic" character of the term "wog" came into popular use in the 1950s when Australia accepted large numbers of immigrants from Southern Europe's Mediterranean countries and from Eastern Europe, in contrast to the then overwhelmingly dominant ethnic Anglo-Celtic stock of the population. Although originally used pejoratively, the term is increasingly used more affectionately, especially by the individuals the term is used to describe.
    Nevertheless, the term remains quite offensive to a lot of people in Australia, particularly people of Southeastern European origin who grew up in Australia during the 1950s, 1960s, 1970s and 1980s as it was still very much an ethnic slur or insult.

  12. Anonymous5/22/2009

    Clare is hot!

  13. Hey, gordon! Fuck you and your 'hate fucking' bullshit. Drop dead.


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