Tuesday, September 20, 2005

The Benefits Of Converting From A Negro To An Assimilated Negro

All the Negroes in the house say, “Yeah!”

All the Negroes in the house say, “hell yeah!!”

Word up.

In this episode we’re going to go over the primary reasons why any Negro should want to convert to being an Assimilated Negro:

CONTINUED IN NEGROPEDIA

30 comments:

  1. Anonymous9/20/2005

    yo, this is crazy!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous9/20/2005

    i have to say my man , you are indeed one of our time's greatest scribes. go forth and prosper

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous9/21/2005

    Very cool.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous10/04/2005

    Okay, I just found this site and am laughing out loud (in my reserved, low-key, white-guy kinda way)

    Good on ya mate!

    Steve O

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous10/05/2005

    TAN,

    You need to post a how-to guide.

    I imagine there are some specific things someone should do to create the life they want one way or the other.

    Steve O

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous10/29/2005

    are you single? :P I have a blog crush on you,

    ~tan asianista on the other coast

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous1/04/2006

    Hey b.noble, if you b.true to b.afrikan, then b.back to your kountry, everyone else, i like you, your music is good, you can stay

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous1/04/2006

    i believe white people can be black, great leaders such as vanilla ice has shown us the way.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous1/04/2006

    b.noble, if you believe assimilation is brainwashing, what about kids in school, imitating black performers, the gangster lifestyle is what is brainwashing us, america has been around a lot longer, 50cent has more influence on teenagers then any other political figure
    holla

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous1/11/2006

    these might be superfluous white folk kinda reading recommendations, but nonetheless. read ralph ellison's invisible man, if you didn't in high school. and then read tobias wolff's this boy's life.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous1/11/2006

    actually you know what else? in response to the gentleman's comment about Afrikans. another more contextually appropriate item to add to your reading list is chinua achebe's things fall apart. context is important certainly but individuality and originality is absolutely necessary and perfectly complimentary for context to lead to personal progress, surely thats what you hope to accomplish via assimilation? i have a sticker in my wallet from a band i dont listen to or like very much, some white boys from chicago that call themselves Joan of Arc...it says RESIST BRAINWASH. seriously read the books if you haven't. it will sharpen your humanity, any element therein.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous1/11/2006

    Uhm... Is this site a satire?





    Or is this guy for real?

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous2/14/2006

    Thanks for the guidance.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous2/14/2006

    are you straight? just curious because I've rarely found blogs written by straight men that I like. And I like this.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous3/06/2006

    Are you guys fucking crazy.

    ReplyDelete
  16. You are freaking hysterical!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Anonymous4/28/2006

    Be careful brother. White people may hear this and think they've been right the whole time. I agree that brothers need to be more willing to and capable of the "cold switch". But since white people really have no idea the problems associated with being black, they may have their view of white culture being civilized and other cultures being primitive renewed. That would be bad.

    Second, be careful of your use of the term Negro. Whites think Negro is, or should be, okay already ("it's not Ni**er"). But I think if a white guy called you or I a Negro we'd do a cold switch in reverse, which is loc the f@*! out.

    What you should be encouraging is, that young black men and women (not Negros) do what white people do to the system. That is, take the rules that have already been established and minipulate the system accordingly, without giving up their cultural identy and roots.

    "Get assimilated or die trying" = Act as white as you can until you die
    That is not the answer. I'm an educated, hard working professional black man and I know I'll never be assimilated. Even if I wanted to.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Anonymous5/08/2006

    Yeah, I'm just an old white fart. But to moderate the prior post, I offer the insight that the act of assimilation is always mutual.

    Love your song, "Not"!

    owf

    ReplyDelete
  19. Anonymous6/08/2006

    This is one of the funniest things I've read in a LONG time. With this one, your blog is being bookmarked. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Anonymous6/08/2006

    Same as above, but with the additional comment that as an assimilated Negro myself, I love the new music.

    Coldplay is a lot better than 50 freakin Cent, that's for sure.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous6/08/2006

    Brilliant.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Anonymous6/12/2006

    umm, i've never been to Afrika but i assimilated in elementary school when some high school students had a field day/membership drive. and i guess logs don't turn to croccodiles in Afrika but i saw this white dude pull a chick in half and then she ran away on her arms. i don't think that happens in Afrika either...so i'm saying uh maybe a log will turn into a croccodile if it floats long enough. and you assimilate. Negro.

    ReplyDelete
  23. If only people other than random bloggers could read this.....on second thought they would probably say your wack....fc*k em...you can't help everyone...1

    ReplyDelete
  24. Anonymous9/16/2006

    Women of all shades and nationalities can be and are beautiful, stop feeding into the hype about white/asian/light-skinned women's superiority.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Good stuff. I'll be back for more education.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Anonymous12/29/2006

    He's not serious people so stop being so sensitive. On a different note, if I ever wanted to date a white woman, she would have to have some African ancestry in her (at least 25%). As for the "Sistas", all colors are welcome (I love'em caramel) assimilation not required. Asian women are welcome as well seeing that I'm Blasian. If you really think assimilation is the only way for you my "brothas" that white-washed perception of beauty must be dropped, for you will miss out on the greatest thing since sliced bread; caramocolate women.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Anonymous6/22/2008

    im white, love dark skinded females. check out this song Blackstar - Brown Skin Lady... if you dont know who blackstar is you can fed-ex me your black card

    ReplyDelete
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