Thursday, September 06, 2007

iPhone Drops Price Out of the Stupidity Zone

So Steve Jobs announced the price on the iphone will be dropped $200. Early adopters/buyers are miffed they didn't get more mileage out of being the first to lick Jobs balls, but this sounds brilliant to me. Everyone heard about the iphone, but at $600 many could write it off immediately. Now at $400, anyone thinking about any sort of advanced smartphone (and aren't we all?), has to at least consider the iphone. Mind space rules. And its also at a nice mark for the holidays.

The quick price drop really makes the "product stupidity zone" very apparent. When the iphone came out it was so expensive you could be called stupid for having one. With kinks still to be worked out, and new editions surely on the horizon, it wasn't a smart purchase. Now it remains expensive, but at least you can rationalize it a bit better. You're not retarded, or totally independent of fiscal concerns. So I think this gives the iphone a legit chance to proliferate like the ipod now. And if that happens Apple wins. We'll all just have to wait and see what the hipsters do.

Meanwhile, Wired has given us four reasons why the price drop was a bad look. So as a response I offer four reasons why Early Adopters need to shut the f up:

1. Substituting A New Product Launch For Tact -- Wired claims it's tacky that Jobs used the product launch of new ipods to "mask" the price drop. But if we're really going to argue for corporate compassion, this sounds better to me than just issuing a release about the price drop. Whatever. Early adopters should keep in mind that as the masses now run out to get their own, such mass sheepery validates their own lead sheepery. If they were the first to be herded, and now everyone else follows, it figures that will makes you cooler than if everyone is elsewhere because you had to pay to get into the barn. Then you can tell war stories about how you were the first to experience stepping in all the dung and piss before anyone even knew there was dung and piss to step in. Holla!

2. Rushing The Timing -- This is just silly and selfish. Obviously the more time before the holidays the iphone is out there at a more affordable price, the better. The more you see people with iphones, the more you want one. Just like ipods. Again if you have an iphone and want people to condescend to, you need this price drop.

3. Slashing A Little Too Much Off The Price -- Wait, did someone seriously just complain about too much coming off the price? Seriously?!!? We don't even want to dig into that. This is ostensibly not a race issue, but if a white person runs into a black barbershop saying some ish like that, they are going to be very uncomfortable.

4. Showing Obvious Contempt For AT&T's Role - ahhh, we're looking out for AT&T now. We don't all just wish at&t would bow out so we can get an iphone with whatever provider we want. Of course not! at&t rules!

Early adopters need to shut the f up because for them to be cool the iphone has to become everyone's baby. And not everyone has an extra $200 to drop down on being a smug rich asshole.


iPhone price cuts cause mixed feelings [cnet]
Four Mistakes Apple Made with the iPhone Price Drop [Wired]


  1. Anonymous9/06/2007

    well said, I am much more excited about the "touch iPod" as I don't want to get with AT&T but you're right.

    If I was "The Jobs" I would have sold the iPhone for more at the launch. Those neck-beard having dorks would've paid even more for them the first day

  2. My major quam is this and only this; though it is an absolute plus that iphone makes it easier in not having to carry two devices (phone/ipod) I question the "need" for all of it's extra baggage. For example my cellphone from last year (that I still have) has itunes, internet, and a camera but I only use the phone portion.

    I am more than content with my 80GB so why I should get dupped into buying a new one every year (it'd be my 4th)?!

    It just seems a little ca-razy.

    PS-This is just a curious and innocent question and not an open invitation for verbal lampoonage. Also, I was extremely weary of both DVD's & MP3's upon arrival & now I can't imagine it any other way.

  3. I f-ing love this blog.

    Very. Well. Said.

  4. Anonymous9/10/2007

    Yo, this baby is hip. Seriously, TAN brings me unsubstantiated joy, like back with I could get a little brown sugar on my cream of wheat. Mmmmm! And to help you out, here's a nice little link about how (hopefully very soon) you won't even have to deal with those po'folks over at AT&T if you want to be runnin' with the iPhone sheep. Follow the links for more info:

  5. Apple will soon realize, like everyone else, that AT&T/Cingular or whatever else they're calling themselves nowadays..SUCKS!

  6. Anonymous10/26/2007

    fucking whiny assed bitches. I'm STILL not going to get an iphone till the price drops to about $20 and the duct tape on my current cell phone starts falling off. Who the fuck has $600 for a phone??? they got what they deserved...


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