Thursday, September 07, 2006

Filth Filth Flarn Flarn Filth

I'm down to make a joke about our dirty subway system, but I was still taken aback in reading this bit on new products that keep you germ free while riding the subway.
If you don't like touching that sticky subway pole and wonder what you're really grabbing hold of, there's good news - there are several products that on the market that are supposed to keep you germ-free on your commute.

Some subway riders go to great lengths so as to not put their hands where thousands of other hands have gone before.

“I try not to touch anything," says one straphanger.

“You get a newspaper and wrap the newspaper around," says another.
Who are these people? Sticky subway pole?? What are we really grabbing hold of??? Hmmm, let me think, are my hands gliding over piss, saliva, or semen?? Ewwww. Yuck. Seriously, if the subway poles were consistently sticky, there'd be a lot more ruckus about it. I haven't experienced sticky subway pole, if I did I'm sure I'd promptly make it a "sticky subway car" with "sticky subway patrons" vis-à-vis my projectile vomit. I imagine it happens now and again, but it's a tad disingenuous as a lede, no?

And I definitely haven't seen people using the wrap-the-newspaper trick. Personally, I might prefer a germy pole to ink on my hands from manhandling a newspaper.

The piece goes on to plug metrogrip, transtrap, and the anti-microbial citymitts as products you can use to avoid contamination on the train. At least one of these products has been on the market since last summer, but I've never seen anyone using them.

Now I could see using the metrogrip and transtrap to yoke someone up during rush hour who's getting a little too pushy, or who's not moving to the middle of the train. And maybe the anti-microbial citymitts to slap people in the face and challenge them to some sort of spirit fingers disco-duel.
Or even as a running prank where you repeatedly slap a friend in the face "to get rid of the microbes." (note to self: must cop some citymitts before they're all gone, them sh*ts is hot!) But in the context of simply riding the train, it seems a little excessive. But maybe I'm just a nasty germy hobo.

Rush-Hour-Yokers, Spirit-Fingers Anti-Microbial Face-Slappers


  1. awwww look who is takling about fashion today

  2. Is there anyway to show you have OCD faster than using one of these products?

  3. Anonymous9/14/2006

    Flu germs are most commonly spread by hands! In the winter, I use sanitizer on my hands after I get off.
    If OCD people enjoy freaky gloves, though, fine. I just can't deal w. women who're scared to put their ass on a public toilet, and their solution is to squat incompetently and get piss all over the stall. They are always impeccably dressed and groomed, but they are evil!
    Because, really, that is repressed anger, not OCD. They are urinating Ted Kazynskis, and it's not right.


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