Thursday, September 14, 2006

Laundry Bag Bling

I know some of y'all out there always looking for the next level of "status accessory." Y'all probably already bloggin' with the super-duper macbook pro deluxe 5000++. And you might already have a hot-ass motorola PEBL, because, you know, only the finest and sleekest in telecommunications will do ... (but you ain't tryin' to have no PDA to be e-mailing and all that all the time).

See people like you need people like me. Because you probably woke up this morning, like, "damn, what is there that's hot and sort of unnecessary for me to have, but still so hot-like-fire that I just have to have it. Just because."

Well yesterday the next-new-futuristic sh*t came to me. See, I was at my boy's crib, and he had clothes all over the place in the bedroom. And I was like, "you know what would be some fly sh*t for you to have ...?"

And he was like, "nah, what would be the fly shit?"

And I was like, "a hamper son, some sort of big laundry bag/hamper."

And he looked a little disappointed at that point, I mean if you talking about "the fly sh*t" and you have any level of expectation, finding out about a hamper is going to be an underwhelming revelation. But that's why it's the sh*t son. The genius of the hamper sneaks up on you.

See I wasn't even up on hampers like that. But then I went online, and I realized getting some fly extra-tricked out hamper is the future. Obviously, yeah, you could get some ol' sweet-and-regular laundry bag. $5-$10 at bed bath and beyond. You could even up the ante on some $25 folding ish. And you'd get some props if you dropped $100 on a woven maple joint. Girls would be like, "ooohhh snap! Is that some woven maple ish you poppin' your clothes into??" Then they start taking off their panties to try the hamper. But that's still child's play. Laundry bags for mortals.

Now first I thought the top ish was going to be droppin' like four-to-five hunny on your hamper. That would make you the man. You could flex some real floss with a hamper like this for example. Some triple-decker action. With foot pedals and anti-bacterial shit going on. You don't even need to wash your clothes son! Just put them in the anti-bacterial bag. PLus you got wheels and shit. You put another hundred down, you could probably get some hydraulics.

So I thought that was it. That was the fly ish. And it's pretty fly. Anti-bacterial is pure fire. Your joint is on wheels. Girls would be swooning. Guys would be trying to do laundry w/ you on Sundays.

BUT THEN ... I stumbled on the trump card. The whole other, next-level. I couldn't even find a picture. I could just find copy:
A five-star hotel in Hong Kong was yesterday offering what may be the world's most expensive Christmas hamper with a HK$1 million (US$129,000) price tag. The hamper offered by the Ritz-Carlton includes champagne, caviar, cigars, diamond jewellery, vouchers for a stay in the hotel's presidential suite and a flight by a Gulfstream jet to Bali. The hamper is believed to be the most expensive ever offered in Hong Kong -- where the top-priced hamper last year was a US$48,888 offering from Sogo.
HOLLA!! It's a wrap ... GAME OVER! Cop the $129K hamper and you need not copy anything anymore in your life.

So, How Much Did Your Laundry Bag Cost? [Tapei Times, 2nd item]


  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. I don't know about panties, but maybe a top or something. And the woven maple is def. better than those medical bags for interior deco purposes.

  3. Oh, dear. You do know that the peoples of the British commonwealth define hamper as "a box containing food and drink for a special occasion", don't you? I know, it totally ruins the post. But there you have it.

  4. I leave for Hong Kong in two weeks, and I think I know what to get all my friends as presents now! Thanks TAN, you make shopping in a foriegn country so simple.

  5. Wait a minute ... did I read that right?!?!?! That other hamper (the link to the clothing kind) costs over $400?!?!?

    Who the hell pays $400 for a place to park their dirty clothes?

  6. That is some good stuff. All it needs is a Grey Goose holder on the side.

  7. There are these Japanese guys who buy women's "slightly used" panties. Maybe they could be persuaded to purchase a shipping container. These are practically big enough to dive into.


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