Friday, September 29, 2006

Scoreboard Dating

Towards the end of this bit on friends, family and face-farting I started talking about the idea of Scoreboard Dating.

To repost with some minor editing:

A man and a woman, who are both best friends and lovers, is probably the maximum use of all our human faculties. Why do we have this conscious mind? Maybe so girls and guys can play head games. Well, not so much headgames, as much as men trying to rationalize the irrational. But it all keeps us mentally sharp. All these arguments are just mental sparring sessions. Every guy knows after trying to win a fight with his lady, a meeting with the boss is nothing. When you're married, the house is your private dojo, and the rest of the world is a battlefield. Never forget you are a Social Samurai.

I once dated a girl and tried to playfully communicate this premise in our relations. We naturally formed this hyper-competitive dynamic where we bickered over every little thing. It was endearing initially. I started keeping score. After one argument, I said TAN – 1, Girl – 0. Then we bickered over the scoring system and rules of the game. Anyways, at some point around TAN – 238 Girl – 4 I stopped keeping track. No one wants to be reminded of big blowouts. And the scoreboard became a symbol of my waning attention span. Like any game, you lose interest if one side is dominating the other.

So that opponent has passed, but the scoring system remains, and as long as a lady can hold her own on the field, then we most assuredly have a game to play.


  1. [ref: social samurai] can I catch the digits for the ham-sammich-$hitter? this may help me in my quest to cut back on my intake of the swine.
    -i'm out-

  2. I'm all for Scoreboard Dating. But i always win. Hence, no dating.

  3. femme fatale9/29/2006

    yeah you need umpires or referees for OBJECTIVE scoring. you got skills TAN, but maybe you need to stop playing pee-wee, and see how the varsity plays the game.


  4. Anonymous9/29/2006

    everytime I see "face-farting" I crack up. that imagery is always gold.

  5. I can't get with the scoreboard. The friendship questions you posed have been working on me ever since. I don't have acquaintances. Don't like 'em. Before my accident my boyfriends had all been really close friends but not my best friends. Since the accident and my decision to stay out of relationships each best friend has turned into a boyfriend.
    Girlfriends were all best friends first, but not all best friends become girlfriends. That's totally how concentric circles should be taught.
    like boobies all squished together

  6. Girlfriends were all best friends first, but not all best friends become girlfriends.


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