That's A Little More Than I Wanted To Pay, How Much For The Bargain Rack?

An amusing story here about a couple who gets jailtime "for charging a 74-year-old who suffers from dementia a total of 25,500 euros ($32,000) to enjoy the woman's breasts on 10 occasions."

(And no, the breasts do not belong to Shakira. She just asked me to post this in the spirit of things.)

In rendering his decision, Judge Hasse Hakki reveals his low-class hands have only handled clearance-caliber-cleavage, "Based on general life experience alone, it is indisputably clear that a 25,500 euro charge is disproportionate to the compensation in question."

Come on HH, you can do better than that baby. You need to get out and expand that "life experience" homey. My blog is so hot now, my hands don't even leave the Ketel & Cran unless the bra is holding a natural $100K. No bootleg bosom here. My manicured tips only tweak designer nips, feel me? And you're a judge, you got paper AND the law, so getting your hands on some high-priced hooters shouldn't be a problem.

Actually, I'm probably more like the cheap-ass trying to bargain-boob, "yo baby, yo baby, yo. How much for like three squeezes and half-a-jiggle? Two drinks you say? Hmmmmm ... well, I got $7.42 and happy hour is over. How about just a graze over with the back of my hand? Ok fine, side graze, no nipple. But I'm only giving you $7 then. Ok whatever, you can have the $0.42 also. But don't run away after. Let me linger a little ..."

Aside from that, you gotta love the challenge of determining proper compensation for a boob squeeze, or "titty ten-pack" as it were. Anyone got a good formula, equation, or spreadsheet out there?

Let's get these valuations and metrics poppin', so we can get to E-bayin', and start the squeezin'.

Court Says $32,00 Too Much To Fondle Bosom [Reuters]

Earlier:
Monkeys Will Pay To Look At Monkey Ass [TAN/Discovery]