Monday, September 19, 2005

Lil' Kim Gets Five Mics - Hip Hop Fans Plan For Immediate Evacuation!!

I figure most everyone, both on the assimilated side, and on the negro side, is familiar with Lil' Kim. Everyone on both sides pretty much recognizes her as the hoochie-mama rapper who crossed over and is now frequently seen on red-carpets and big celeb parties. On a list of things that come to mind when thinking of Lil' Kim aka The Queen B, terms like "classic," "timeless," and "artist" are either last on the list, or don't make it on the list before you remember that there are an infinite number of more productive options than making a Lil' Kim list.

So when walking in NYC today I almost got hit by a car, because while crossing the street I happened to see a billboard announcing that Lil Kim's latest album "The Naked Truth" had received Five Mics from The Source. I had to call one of my boys to make sure there wasn't some sort of terrorist alert I didn't know about or something.

Now some of you on the assimilated side might not be familar with The Source. Well the short story is that The Source bills itself as "the bible" on hip hop, culture, and politics. And in its record review section they rank albums with a "mic" system. One mic is wack. Five mics is a classic album. Here's a primer that breaks down the history of the magazine, and its current spiral downward.

The bottom line here is that any serious hip hop fan knows that it would be impossible for Lil' Kim to drop a 5-mic album. Maybe if she had Jay-Z, Nas, and Common collaborate to ghost-write it. With Kanye, Jay-Dee, and Dre on the boards. And then have Lauryn Hill do the vocals. Then we could talk. But classic timeless albums are not what Lil' Kim does. Lil' Kim does "I have buffoons eating my pu**y while I watch cartoons..." - that's Lil' Kim. Amusing - yes. Entertaining - maybe. Classic - never.

The Source shold bill themselves as a magazine for hip hop satire. That would be truer to their current identity. "The Farce" perhaps. It's something to seriously consider. Lil' Kim getting five mics is an incredibly funny bit.

Especially considering the new editor-in-chief for The Source is a woman. And these comments from Kim herself:
“I think it just does great for the evolution of black women. I thinks it's gonna be great for female rappers now too.”
By this logic hip hop advocates should elect the Yin-Yang Twins as president and vice president come next election.

Consider also that Lauryn Hill's - The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill - was not deemed worth of the "timeless" rating.

I guess it is positive for all those young black women out there to know that all they have to do is get a little plastic surgery (old to the new), get sent to prison, and drop mediocre material to be heralded as a classic artist.

Here's the evolution
of black women according to Lil' Kim.

Classic material baby ...

13 comments:

  1. Lil Kim has joined a long list of rappers who threaten to ruin the art-form that we love. Before her was Puff Daddy Diddy Doo Wah Dum Diddy Doo. Before him was the West Coast in the Wu-Tang/Redman Era. There will always be someone like her. She doesn't give us hope and inspiration like Public Enemy, or the Rza's original production techniques, or even Master P (am I stretching on that one?). But every once in a while, when we need an escape from the pressures of serious life, when no one is looking, we might play Lil Kim on our iPod.

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  2. Word. Well you can't say there will always be someone like her - she is therefore, necessary - and also say she threatens to "ruin the art-form". She is what she is. But you dont' expect her to do anything great as an artist. Someone could like Kim over Public Enemy. It's not me, but someone. And that's fine. But she still don't get no five mics.

    knahmean?

    and I"m definitely not playing no Kim on my ipod. :)

    holla

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  3. Anonymous10/18/2005

    LIL KIM deserves 6 mics if you ask me!Just because she is a woman don't mean she don't deserve 5 mics. Niggas are madd because there favorite ( which most likely is a guy) didn't get 5 mics and she did. Well get over it she can't spit! If not do you think biggie {another 5 mic artist) would have had here on his team!?...really don't hate. At the end of the day give respect when respect is do!!! cool 1

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  4. I'd like your thoughts on the new Vanity Fair magazine. I wrote what I thought of the "Hip Hop Kings and Queens" issue, but I'm sure I forgot some people...

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  5. Assimilated Negro, she made "Shut up Bitch!" just for you. You sound like the mad rapper. If you listened to lil Kim's CD you would know how much she has grown as an artist since HardCore. Did you listen to the lyrics of "lighters up"? That song alone is indicative of her maturity as a hip hop artist right there. I guess Jay Z was right "Do you fools listen to music or do you just skim through it?". I have never bought hard core cd because it was too cheesy, but she did her thang this time, even niggas are bumpin this shit! So, without further adieu give the queen of rap her crown.

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  6. Anonymous7/21/2006

    I think Lil Kim definetley deserves every single mic ahe got.That album was dope.At no time did i even think about skippin a song.Lil Kim speak da truth every time she spit an dshe deserve all da props she got.

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  7. wasn't the source founded by a white guy?
    so much for being the "bible"

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  8. Anonymous2/07/2007

    What the fuck does white have to do with whether or not it's street? It's racist punks like you that make me fuckin' sick.

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  9. Anonymous6/11/2007

    The point is that Lil Kim doesn't deserve 5 mics nor a "classic" rating based on her product. For one, classic is an over/misused term. Classic is something that is timeless. What classic line can you see yourself spouting from the "Naked Truth" in 5 years? 10 years? Right I thought so. I doubt anyone is going reminisce the exact moment and place where they first heard "Lighters Up" and "Shut Up". Please be EASY!!!

    And as far as the comment regarding her being a woman, that has nothing to do with it. Cause as he said Lauryn's album is clearly "classic" material but it was never rated as such. And anyone who thinks that album is classic has obviously never heard of Monie Love, Jean Grae or even Bahamadia. All female artists that actually treat the music as "art" and not sound bites.

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  10. ALWAYS REAL10/26/2007

    yO LETS STOP THIS HATIN ON LIL KIM, IF YOU CANT TOP IT THAN SHUT UP BITCH. SECOND THERE ARE MANY THINGS THAT IS CLASSIC ABOUT THAT ALBUM IF YOU KNEW HIP HOP YOU CAN RELATE. HIP HOP IS BASED OFF THE STRUGGLE THAT MANY PEOPLE ARE FACING EVERYDAY. ITS OBVIOUS THAT YOU NEVER BEEN IN A REAL STRUGGLE IF YOU CANT SEE A CLASSIC WHEN IT HITS THE CHARTS. ITS A CLASSIC WHEN 5OR 10 YRS FROM NOW YOU CAN LISTEN TO THE SONG AND BE LIKE THATS SOME REAL SHIT. SO "SHUT UP BITCH!"

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  11. tai jones11/27/2007

    tia jones says if you all paid attention to the more serious matters like the people in darfur and poverty and world hunger world peace and things that really need our attention as a world the better off we will be

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  12. Anonymous5/29/2009

    lil kim deserves 5 mics... kim is not only lyrically intelligent but she is also strong... she has been through alot as a black women.... and still manages to make good music... "naked truth" was a good album she told her whole side of her story and managed to get five mics.... lil kim is who she is because she thinks outside of the box... many upcoming female rappers need to realize thhat becuz being different is what makes you famous... i can truly say she is the maryln monroe of hip hop...she deserves this she has been through soo much as a female artist..there will never be another lil kim

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  13. mickie3/16/2012

    Kim is the Queen and you will all deal. She deserved ever mic!

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