So with that preface, and considering I’ve been fairly quiet about my contributions to “The Pool,” I thought I’d share a list of some of my contributions. This list will likely be constantly updated, as I’ve contributed a lot, but can’t remember everything on the spot.
Trends I Started:
Wearing flip-flops on the subway
Wearing jeans at night
Wearing double t-shirts.
Enjoying the synergy of drinking while peeing at the same time
T-shirts with funny/cool phrases on them
Only doing two verses for a hip hop song
Making an acronym out of whatever you happen to be talking about at the time (i.e. “That’s M.A.A.O.O.W.Y.H.T.B.T.A.A.T.T silly, the assimilated negro started that)
The concept of combining two independent words together to make a new one. Like White and the N-Word = wigger. (I didn’t come up with wigger. I came up with the notion that allows you to create the word wigger, or blog, etc.)
Wearing t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers together.
Rock, paper, scissors
Flipping a coin to settle disputes
Reading Maxim magazine
Setting your clock five minutes ahead to be on time
Brushing your teeth in the shower to save time
Spraying water on your clothes to iron them … and save time
Telling people you’re five minutes away, when you’re really fifteen minutes away
Rubbing your belly to indicate hunger
Any kind of hip hop song that has to do with idolatry of the Caucasian Female
Rubbing your booty to indicate having to go to the bathroom
Using double and triple parentheticals (you mean like this one?) (no, more like this one) (or this)
That’s going to be all for now. You’ll notice some of the things haven’t caught on yet, like others. And you might think I’m being a little presumptuous to posit myself as the sole progenitor of these cultural trends that you likely have taken for granted. But when is the last time you used posit and progenitor in ordinary conversation? Exactly.
So this was just an FYI … please pay your respects accordingly.