Interview With The Number Nine

TAN - So # 9 how are you today?

#9 – Good.

TAN – Well this is the first ever interview with an actual number. At least on record. I guess the first question really is simply what’s on your mind? What is prompting you to engage the media like this?

#9 – I don’t know. I think I just feel an internal nagging … or desire. A need to proclaim my unique identity to the world. Don't get me wrong I love all the other numbers, but hey, I think I’m special and deserve some extra attention. Sue me. *laughs heartily*

TAN – Interesting, ok well tell us what distinguishes you from the other numbers?

#9 – Well, you mean aside from my looks? *laughs heartily again* Heheh … joking aside, I’m sure most people will agree that I stand out as a number. My awesomeness is fairly self-evident. I think the easiest and most obvious example is if you think about what number you are when you are at your best.

TAN – ummmm …I’m not …it's not one right? ... ummm ...

#9 – Well when things are good, you’re floating, floating on cloud ... *trails off*

TAN – NINE!! … yes I’m on cloud nine. Of course.

#9 – Yeah, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Everyone loves cats, right? They are great animals. Well how many lives do they have?

TAN – Nine again …

#9 – That’s right. And when you’re giving it your all and you want to get the job done – how many yards you going to give it?

TAN – The whole nine yards … ok ok … I get the picture, I can understand you needing to speak out.

#9 – Everyone has their calling ….

TAN – Well … what’s it like being a number?

#9 – Well pretty boring if I don’t say so myself. That’s not to say it’s inactive … because I am busy from sunup to sundown. But it’s typically boring work. That’s another reason I wanted to get myself out there … maybe to branch out some. Diversify. I can do other stuff besides being a number.

TAN – Like what?

#9 – Like singing. I'm pretty good at water polo. I can make a hell of a chicken ceasar salad. I’d like to get on Def Poetry Jam. I'm a complex number …. but don’t let me bore you with my whims ...

TAN - What do you hate most about being a number?

#9 – The obligation. Being defined so definitively. Between all the equations, and headcounts, and stock market figures ... it's tough ... there’s a lot of pressure. And everyone wants me to stay the same.

TAN – Yeah, no one likes to be pigeon holed. Who’s your favorite number?

#9 – Easy … #6

TAN – I could have guessed that. Well unfortunately we're running out of time. It was nice talking to you #9. You're quite an interesting dude, and I'm sure we'll be seeing a lot more of you. Good luck in expanding your range and making a name for yourself.

#9 – Thanks TAN. Thanks for giving me a voice.