Wednesday, October 12, 2005

The TAN Guide To Slang, Slurs, And Slander

We need a universal language. Besides love. And though it may initially seem counterintuitive, in order to achieve this end everyone needs to come up with their own language/glossary.

So here’s the start of mine.

UPDATE -- The starred (**) selections are contributed by members of hip hop collective The Blue Room.

Some words you may know already, some words you may not. But feel free to add on. If I get enough contributions I can compile it together and sell it back to you as a book for ten easy payments of $34.99.

That would be hot like fire.

What’s the HTML code for deadpan?

DP

[DP] That would be hot like fire. [/DP]

word.

now on to the words ...


Biting – To bite is to plagiarize another person’s work. Usually associated with hip hop elements, you bite someone’s rhymes, style, beats. Biters are the scum of the earth. And every emcee who has ever lived has had at least one person “bite their rhymes,” or so they say.

The bog down – The bog down is the period of stagnancy that results from over-thinking a situation. People who tend to the more vain side of things often provoke the bog down by restating and overstating things that have already been said. Or are unnecessary. Even Frivolous. Irrelevant. Superfluous. Etc, etc, etc. Youknowwhatimsayin'?

Boomschmacked – When someone gets handed a particularly bad setback, typically in videogames, but it could be life in general, they have been boomschmacked. 41-7 is a boomschmacking.

Cha – A multifaceted word, akin to F*CK. But you cannot say “You slept with Eva Longoria? Get the cha out of here.” It is more typically an exclamation of frustration and/or irritation. “Hey pop can I borrow ten dollars to pay my hosting fees this month?” “Cha, you always asking for money.”

**Croce – Pronounced CRO-chee. This is when you steal for no reason. An homage to John Croce, brother to Pat Croce (former GM of the 76ers), who was caught stealing from the players locker-room back in 2001. “Watch out for that negro right there, he might croce your paperclips.”

Domepiece - Your head. If someone gets caught pulling a Croce, they most likely will suffer blows to their domepiece.

Educated Rappers – the archnemesis to real ni$$as. Educated rappers are smart and think their education makes them better. They know the “right” way to live one's life. They are quick to make fun of real ni$$as and usually ignore the fact that they too are gimmicky caricatures.

**Ecstasy – Ecstasy is hip hop and jungle music smoothed out on the rave (R&V) tip. Someday we’ll get a sample up.

**Etch-A-Sketch - Etch-A-Sketch people are not trustworthy, they show you one thing, then when you shake them down (interrogate), they present a whole 'nother picture.

Gassed – Full of oneself. It’s easy to have a little success and then get “gassed up” and fail to prepare for the hurdles still to come. Not to be confused with people who are “gassy” – though both deserve to be given some “alone time.”

**Geekstylin'- Being aware of new technological gadgets and advancements, and incorporating them in to your everyday life, sometimes, even before it is deemed "cool".

Hemmroid – character from the album De La Soul is Dead. Hemmroid represents the quintessential arrogant, yet also ignorant, gang leader.

Herb – A herb is a stereotypically dorky individual. But herbishness is not so much about people, it’s more a style and characterization. A lot of hipsters like to dress herb-chic for example. And yes, you do pronounce the H. Herbs don’t smoke herb.

Hot Loops – Hot Loops are good samples of music that don’t have the necessary changes or additional elements to make an actual song. They become monotonous if played for more than a couple minutes … so they become hot loops. Perfect for interludes, and feisty freestyles. Wu Tang Clan has a lot of hot loops for music in their catalogue. Hot Loops are an underestimated point of distinction between black and white people. Black people can get down with some hot loops, but most Caucasians can’t.

In the Range – This is a response to the question “are they good looking?” Most people fall into a range where you know there is someone somewhere that will find them attractive, even though someone somewhere may never include you. Those not “in the range” are definitively ugly by any and all objective measures.

**Label Cat – A stereotypically smarmy record label executive. He thinks his artists lack brains and his bookshelf has all the answers. He always has a variety of "music biz" titles, i.e. “Ten Weeks To Nelly” or “The Bottom Line: Where Creativity Goes To Die.” He can also be identified by excessive use of formerly “cool” slang, telling his artists to say things like, “Yeeeeaaaah Boyeee! We have phat beats AND a funky-fresh record label. Gonna be slamming in the nine-deuce. It’s on!”

**Lapped (Lapped in the Game) - when you try to resurrect a dying career on an already fading away or dead trend. When Hammer and Vanilla Ice came out on some gangster ish, they were clearly lapped in the game.

Bit*hes and H*es – Our one truly original term. Bitches and hoes represent women. All women. This term is not in alphabetical order because we have no ‘a’ words currently and we didn’t want to begin with this bit of tasteless humor.

“No diggy” and “word to hizzah” – these are variations on statements like “no doubt” or “word to herb” or “True.” These statements don’t mean anything, but they provide a comforting alternative to awkward silences when having a dialogue with someone and you have nothing to say to their most recent statement. “Sometimes I think I struggle with intimacy issues because my mother abandoned me at such an early age.” “No diggy.”

Real Ni$$as – Real ni$$as are stereotypical street thug ni$$as. Their top priority is keeping it real and really representing the reality of real life on the real streets. When writing about real nizzas the "$" may be substituted with any symbol or letter in existence (except the letter “G”). Some choose to use the English “h” … as in “let’s get some crack from those real ni&&ahs over there.”

**Scholla Back - Get back to me, but only if it has some relevance.

Smacked – Getting bent, wasted, intoxicated. It only applies to weed and alcohol, not the h-train. Or heroin for that matter.

**Sour Game – Being unable to kick it to girls in a sexual context. Entering the “friend zone” is usually a result of sour game.

Styze – This is a mix of style and deezposition [sic]. Someone’s attitude, the way they handle themselves, their persona … this is their styze.

**Suspectivity - Suspect Activity, this is shady atypical behavior. Michael Jackson always comes with the suspectivity.

‘Tank – Stinks. It’s an abbreviated form of “Stank”. “Damn, your ears tank real bad.”
.

9 comments:

  1. If you get any more clever, people might start to bite YOU! Just a word of caution! ...That article is about JOHN Croce. Don’t say anything ill of my “time in a bottle” man, Jim! Is he even still alive? ... I thought ecstasy was a party drug, am I that out of touch? ...I have to incorporate etch-a-sketch into my daily language. I loved the toy, and I LOVE your definition! ...I didn’t know about Herbs either. I still pronounce it “erb,” and everyone knows what I’m talking about! I don't know any square-fuckers names Herb. ...I’ll also be adding “in the range” to my daily vocabulary. And I think Jake will find that phrase useful when I ask that loaded question, “So… was she cute?” ...I thought Hammer was selling credit-counseling and Ice was disgruntled after the Surreal Life didn’t perk up his career? What did I miss? I never heard the beautiful music they made together! ...I thought bitches and hos were just hot loose women showcased on videos… but it’s ALL women! Woot! I’m IN!

    I must stopp. This is getting long and I have no definitions to add. And I'm pretty sure I've mastered the definition of "windy!" As in "Get this windy bitch off my blog!"

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yeah all you herbs out there better not bite my styze, lest I get some real ni$$as to put a boomschmacking on your domepiece. No diggy ...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Don't worry, I won't bite your steez, as it were. I can't imagine it also being funny anywhere else anyway!!! Nice blog ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  4. bright - thanks. I check for my wallet anytime someone says, "as it were" but I think I'll trust you this time.

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  5. Anonymous10/30/2005

    don't you think you should give credit, where credit is due?

    ReplyDelete
  6. anonymous - you are right. And I've since rectified the situation.

    all - I originally published this as The Blue Room Glossary, and there were contributions from everyone in the collective. So I have now starred the entries that came from other Blue Room members.

    Thanks for keeping me in line anon.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Cool. Yes, that's mighty white of me.

    I'm biting this but I'm giving you credit. Actually I'm just going to link it cause that's easier.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous7/27/2011

    Blazzay skippy

    ReplyDelete

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